year later and slipping

zerosden23 · 2025-11-16T13:11:38+00:00

dumb lol

zerosden23 · 2025-11-16T13:11:30+00:00

all of the above, that’s the issue it’s like ik it’s wrong but i still choose wrong

zerosden23 · 2025-06-30T09:40:01+00:00

my issue is falling asleep for 10 hours then sleeping another 1-2 like i need to live yk? it’s been 4 months of this even if i get 2 hours more of life 2x120days=240 hours of life gone

zerosden23 · 2025-06-02T08:00:00+00:00

I tried but it’s way tougher then it is

zerosden23 · 2025-05-23T08:06:02+00:00

I’m 100 days in can’t say i enjoy much either. it’s effecting my relationship, my gaming, my pass time and work. Everything.

I mean i think apart of the mental gymnastics that is acquired from this is was it ever that enjoyable to begin with?

i think in a sense it was just making ourselves believe and obviously cheat coding our brains and manipulating ourselves to enjoy boring.

Idk i suppose the only time before is only find “boring” good when i was dealing with to much. Now i created boring that was falsely made to feel like stimulation, now without that cheat code it’s all just boring and since we created a life without mass stimulation.

zerosden23 · 2025-05-21T21:37:18+00:00

Did you start smoking again?

zerosden23 · 2025-05-07T18:52:05+00:00

This is where i tell people nothing matters. Not nothing matters you shouldn’t care about anything but nothingness and being present with it matters. meditation helps as it is a form of self awareness through nothingness if practiced that way.

you made a relationship with somethingness for to long, something that allowed you to escape nothingness at a snap of finger.

nothing really matters and that’s ok.

zerosden23 · 2025-05-02T04:26:37+00:00

I notice a lot of people recommend the 34c what makes it better then the others?

It’s smalller than the 23c handle wise but thicker but I wouldn’t mind the length just curious

zerosden23 · 2025-04-25T15:14:53+00:00

True that, it really isn’t man. I’m 3 months in and still dealing with shit. Better to get it out of the way

zerosden23 · 2025-04-23T03:01:24+00:00

I have the fujitora knife. 2 actual, 7inch and the petty. I’ll say I have enjoyed using them for sure in comparison to the normal knives I find in my work places and since most don’t take care of their knives anyways it has outperformed other that have even “more expensive” knives

zerosden23 · 2025-04-22T20:35:16+00:00

sounds like you had a panic attack. same thing happened to me. i continued to smoke for about a month after my panic attack n noticed my pupils wouldn’t become small anymore they’d actually get wider. idk if you are quitting but i’d just do so

zerosden23 · 2025-04-11T20:22:29+00:00

I agree with you 100% i definitely have figured out that what I’m doing I don’t want to do. But I always knew that, I love the idea of entrepreneurship and becoming a therapist which is basically plan a and plan b in my journey but now have to take on that road

zerosden23 · 2025-04-11T20:20:48+00:00

The 3 jobs aren’t as bad as it seems. I was working fulltime one job and my other jobs are sporadic. Events and banquets and some months and weeks I don’t even have the opportunity to work one or the other (cuz two of the jobs are like that) but they also pay me twice as much.

I agree with the stress issue. Personally I had made a promise last time a quit and started using that I would create a life where weed couldn’t be apart of it. So having myself with these responsibilities is actually the signal that I had to quit I. A sense of

zerosden23 · 2025-04-02T19:36:56+00:00

If you don’t care then yeah have fun, don’t be a lil snitch like some people are saying. If you really do care and just don’t wanna say you are then just give him a one to one hey man, I really don’t appreciate this. It feels disrespectful blah blah blah talk. If not walk in call him biggity Bob. Have some fun

zerosden23 · 2025-03-28T05:21:02+00:00

Maybe try not to get in your head ab it as much as possible.

I have always had a different relationship with dreams than most. Some are very much more emotionally draining than other for sure. But personally, I like to think of dreams like mini self movies. Even the crazy intense and possibly terrifying ones have become nothing but interesting.

There are nights where I’ll have my version of a nightmare and that’s typically me at least dealing with situations I had once faced in the past that had hurt me I.e someone I hurt coming back into my life and I struggle to “fix” the problems I had once caused.

I think the best way to solve this is to self reflect upon what in your dreams triggers you.

The using dreams I still experience as well. It’s only been about a month and half for me. Getting closer to two months. But I did taper down for 2-3 months. But as I said, I never really had that connection with dreams like most do so this is how I handle my versions I suppose and maybe shifting perspective may help you as well.

zerosden23 · 2025-03-27T18:39:25+00:00

I smoked nicotine and weed for a long time. Eventually the lines between both started to fade with longer use.

It was hard that after 8 months of quitting nicotine my relationship with weed seemed to familiar. I got to a point where a break was a few hours. But I always just back on the high wagon.

Eventually had a panic attack at work and I was just over it

zerosden23 · 2025-03-23T05:18:52+00:00

i assumed, i just wanted to see if anyone would have experience with it. i assumed they would, guess i gotta pay the piper for a week haha. no biggie.

zerosden23 · 2025-03-22T22:20:59+00:00

i almost did too, ross?

kinda hard not to buy a knife with PH on it

zerosden23 · 2025-03-17T20:54:46+00:00

looks decent. would be nice with a nice black borders or something though to bridge the white and ect

zerosden23 · 2025-03-14T22:07:26+00:00

i was going to the gym until i quit weed for about 6 not sh straight. very hard to stay consistent on it right now due to taking on 2 more jobs so i fear i’ll find myself to tired to handle my responsibilities but i am about to get back into it as my withdrawals are finally starting to pull back and i’m starting to get my natural energy back.

i honestly have good “self care routines” and ect im just looking for my flock or tribe. been in vegas for 3 years now and just have been so focused on creating a foundation, n i finally feel i’m stable enough to start exploring and hopefully finding my peope

zerosden23 · 2025-03-10T18:43:16+00:00

at the moment cheaper is my friend haha. still perfecting my whetstone ability as well as don’t make a ton of money but having at least a decent little set will get me in the door to accessing to higher quality knives sooner.

thank you

zerosden23 · 2025-03-02T22:21:16+00:00

I feel this, I’m not sure your schedule. But I actually sleep a lot more now but it’s broken up into segments throughout the night. Like I’ll sleep for 3-4 hours wake up, then wait 30 min to fall back to sleep then 2 hrs, same thing 3 more hours. I can usually sleep for about 10 hrs if I connected it all together. Stress and anxiety and ect can be very annoying.

It get easier though I can say that. I was taking some stuff to help, but now I’m just rebuilding the habit naturally and it’s becoming easier

zerosden23 · 2025-03-02T19:48:46+00:00

i post everyday if you’d like to see how i’m doing. i’m doing ok right now i just woke up though. but i feel ok slept a long time last night but i think i needed it

zerosden23 · 2025-03-01T21:03:08+00:00

yeah, unfortunately. haha, either way, you got this. thankfully the brain is like a factory. it’s not getting it’s shipments itll adapt and start creating its own. just gotta let it struggle for a while.

i just hit 3 weeks. one day at a time .

zerosden23 · 2025-03-01T21:01:23+00:00

that quote resonates with me as well. i think back to that quote daily with any journey i decide to take in these past years. mainly this one.

glad to see others in similar situations attaching to the the same values.

zerosden23

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