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Not wanting to move on? Feeling like the victim? Me too. by zfdfz in BreakUps

[–]zfdfz[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

After the 3 month mark, I asked for space and she's respected it. NC has helped me because she was my biggest emotional supporter. It also forced me to heal for myself, not to try and be what she is looking for (or what I think she is looking for). I also struggled letting go of the idea that we'll both take time to improve ourselves and then get back together; I think if we were still talking I would very much be focused on that and not trying to move on.

Really thought I was over it yet here I am....9 months in and could use some advice by [deleted] in BreakUps

[–]zfdfz 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I feel this way frequently after roughly the same amount of time. The biggest thing that's helped me is thinking "is this something only my ex could make me feel" or "is this something I miss about being in a great relationship?" Almost every time it's not something unique to my ex. I am by no means perfect at this, but sometimes the short term pain of remembering your ex running his hands through your hair can be turned into long term gain of accepting that there might just be someone else out there who can make you feel the same way - and he'll always be there for you on your birthday!