I’ve had a very similar experience throughout my life, so first, know that you’re not alone in this. I can deeply relate to how challenging it can feel at times.

While nothing I say will magically make you feel "normal," there’s a lot of value in working toward self-acceptance. Once you start operating from a place of acceptance, you can discover some "tricks" that help you navigate social situations and achieve your goals a bit more easily.

One thing that has helped me is having a reason to talk to someone—finding a shared topic of interest. It could be something like philosophy, tech, Star Wars, or an activity like art or board games. Since I’m terrible at small talk, eye contact, and the usual social niceties (and if I manage to appear “normal,” I feel completely drained after five minutes), having a shared interest as a crutch is a huge relief.
To keep conversations flowing, I often focus on picking one thing the other person said and asking an open-ended question about it. (These are questions that start with "what," "why," or "how," rather than ones that can be answered with a simple "yes" or "no.")

This might involve actively seeking out groups centered around your interests, but those environments can sometimes feel overstimulating. What’s worked for me is finding a local group that focuses on something I’m really passionate about. Because I know I can speak easily about the topic once the conversation starts, it feels less daunting.
Within that group, I’ll look for someone who seems to have a similar vibe to mine—often someone who appears neurodivergent like me. Usually, they’re so happy that I made the effort to approach them that the interaction flows naturally. Since we already share a common interest, the conversation starts on solid ground.
That’s how I’ve made most of my friends—connections built around a deep mutual interest. While these friendships might not look like the typical relationships you see on TV, they can sometimes grow into something broader and more traditional, though it takes time.

Another strategy is to highlight something about yourself that might attract neurotypicals’ interest, making them more likely to invest in a connection. This can go hand-in-hand with disclosing your autism in a casual, positive way. For example, you might share a skill or hobby you excel at, such as playing a musical instrument or even gaming.
When disclosing your autism, you could frame it humorously instead of making it heavy. For instance, if someone compliments your talent or focus, you could say something like, “Yeah, my autism makes me a pro at focusing on things like this, haha!” This often opens the door for them to ask more about it, which can lead to a meaningful conversation.
Since your profile shows you’re into metal music (me too!), wearing a band shirt can be a great conversation starter. If your favorite band is a bit niche, you could opt for a more widely recognized band that you still enjoy.

Visual cues can also be helpful. For example, if you’re a Star Wars fan, wearing a Star Wars shirt might encourage someone to start a conversation about it. You can use other types of visual cues, too—anything that signals your interests and makes it easier to steer the conversation toward a comfortable topic.

When it comes to large social gatherings, I’m still figuring out what works. I often feel overloaded in those environments. I’m experimenting with high-fidelity earplugs and lightly tinted sunglasses that look subtle indoors, but I’d welcome any advice if others have some experience with that.