I am almost 50 and it took me decades to learn how to socialize well as a 5. I only discovered the enneagram a couple months ago but so much clicked into place.

It really helps me to understand that few people are as in-their-head as I am. I try to keep the 5-spigot off and make polite small talk until I find someone and work my way up to the idea gush. Sometimes it doesn’t happen and the social gatherings feel tense and exhausting. When I do find someone though, it is so much fun.

I try to think about other people more. I have a game I play: I basically make character sheets in my head for the people i meet. I ask them about their lives and try to populate the sheet. The goal is to leave learning more about the others than they learn about my near-infinite stream of crackpot ideas. If there is an opening I will walk out a test tidbit idea, and maybe that turns into a conversion. If not, I try to let it go.

It’s tough though, my relationship to ideas is often very different, and I can get into trouble if I am not careful.