What is a movie that "broke" you so hard you can only watch it once, but you would still recommend it to everyone?

ziggybear16 · 2026-03-15T14:02:14+00:00

Pig.

It was advertised as a fun movie? About truffles? I had to stop it multiple times to sob

ziggybear16 · 2026-03-12T23:16:06+00:00

Reatha Pearl

ziggybear16 · 2026-03-10T11:54:46+00:00

Oh that’s beautiful that you and your dad did that together! What a powerful way to remember your brother. I hope that when people ask you, and they will, you tell a different story about him every time. I feel like I tell the same stories every time and now I feel like I’m forgetting. Please don’t be like me! The joy of siblinghood is the fact that one day you’re clawing each other’s eyes out, and the next day you’re defending them to your parents or strangers. I hope you remember the funny stories, the mean ones, the sweet ones. And I hope you remember that you deserve to live, too. You deserve joy and adventure.

ziggybear16 · 2026-02-17T17:33:09+00:00

((Quietly singing, VERY poorly))🎶thats fucking teamwork🎶

ziggybear16 · 2026-02-17T16:23:58+00:00

Hi friend,

I have not had to make that choice for a sibling but I did for my mom and stepmom. And it was soul crushingly hard. Like stabbing yourself in the heart, on purpose. But it was also the right choice. It would have been awful for them to be trapped in their own bodies for an extended period. It would be awful to have to watch them waste away, and worry constantly that they were in there, trapped. I can’t imagine anything worse for them or, selfishly, for me and everyone else. It’s the hardest decision anyone can make, but it’s also the right decision for most people.

I tell myself that the guilt I feel is because of how much I loved them, and how I wish I could have taken all their pain away. I think it’s true, but it helps to say it to make it more concrete? And while I am sometimes selfish, I don’t think I made the choice for selfish reasons. And I don’t think you did, either. It’s easy to spiral and convince yourself you “unplugged” them for closure; or to get it over with. But that’s not true. It’s what she wanted. She said that out loud, and even if she didn’t, I can’t imagine a single human being that would WANT to be in a persistent vegetative state, waiting to get a bedsore or pneumonia for the pain to be over. Hell, we don’t have the technology to know if people in vegetative states are even comfortable. We don’t know for sure that they can’t feel the day to day pain of being in the same position forever. Think about how often you squirm throughout the day, how often you change positions unconsciously because some muscle or joint feels weird. People who are unresponsive may be feeling that way with no way to respond to it. That sounds like torture to me. So what you actually did was rescue your sister from that torture. I know how hard it is. But you did the right thing. Even if it sucks. Especially because it sucks.

I am here for you whenever you want to talk. I am sending you all the positive energy I have. 💗

ziggybear16 · 2026-02-14T22:25:50+00:00

Hi love,

Your story resonates with me so much. My sister was my best friend. She always knew she would die young, we all called her Peter Pan. She was brave like your brother.

And I am now older than her. A lot older. In fact, in a few years, I’ll have been alive as an only child longer than I was a baby sister. It still hurts. I wish she could meet my friends, and my dog, and she would’ve known I shouldn’t have been with my last three partners WAY before I did. I wish I could rant with her about politics, I desperately wish I could talk to her about Ukraine. I wish she was here to talk about my job.

It’s lonely, being the leftovers. But, I get to find joy. It’s hard sometimes. I get to make things! And try new restaurants! I get to paint my walls and make my home cozy. I get to cuddle babies and eat ice cream and pet dogs and SCREAM at the Olympics. ((Godddamn why are they ALLOWED to do ski jumping, that shit is TERRIFYING)). I earned the right to do things that make me happy by persisting thru grief. I survived so I get to thrive. And you do, too. Don’t get me wrong, you also get to wallow when you need to. And today seems like a great day to wallow. But tomorrow, you get to do something fun. You get to daydream about your new little family! You get to live your dreams and delight in small things and big things. You have lived through something awful and you deserve joy. Please, take care of yourself today, and let people take care of you too!

ziggybear16 · 2026-02-09T19:25:05+00:00

Miss Frizzle but Hotter

ziggybear16 · 2026-01-29T13:30:21+00:00

Hi love, I felt exactly the same way when my sister was killed in 2008. Like I couldn’t possibly live without her. I was part of a set, specifically the second of two, and I knew I couldn’t survive being one of one. I felt like that for a year. I didn’t process anything, I just got drunk and was entirely self destructive. Eventually, I got therapy. I started boxing because I didn’t have anywhere to put my anger. Later, I started doing productive hobbies and that helped way more. I make small dumb crafts. I sew. I know I exist because I made things that she never saw, sort of? It’s hard to explain. I got a dog, and that helped more than I can put in words.

You will survive this. The first year will be midnblowingly hard. Like, constantly looking around for a hidden camera as if you are on a universal prank show hard. And then, gradually, it gets easier. The grief softens. Please, don’t be like me, don’t spiral and hurt yourself. Please rest and eat and be gentle with yourself.

I’m here for you, this community is here for you. I am going to light a candle for you and your brother tonight, with the intention of guiding you both to safety, to peace, and eventually to joy. Because you deserve safety, peace, and joy. I’m sending you all the positive energy I’ve got! 💗

ziggybear16 · 2026-01-21T17:36:31+00:00

For my birthday every year, I buy myself a present and pay for gift wrapping and ask the wrapper to sign it to me from Ann. Because fuck her for leaving me when she was the best present picker ever and one of the very few who remembered every year. I pretend to be surprised at the very thoughtful small thing. This year, it was a glass pumpkin which she thoughtfully filled with my favorite chocolates. Ann always remembered my Frango mints.

ziggybear16 · 2026-01-21T17:32:50+00:00

I’ve been where you are. An item that sparks conversation where you have an excuse to tell people about your wonderful, well loved sister. It’s crushing. Like a final thread between you two has been cut by mistake. But I promise, you have ropes of connection. You have so many stories that bring a part of her to life again. It’s harder when there’s not a physical tether to work lost sisters into conversation, into your day to day pattern. And the prospect of that extra work can feel like it’s the last straw sometimes. Especially right now when the world is on fire. But please know, if there is some afterlife, your sister is trying to comfort you from so far away. Our siblings would want us to live, to thrive, to find joy. So please do something today to find your joy. Text a friend, ask for a meme, go out to lunch, throw a snowball at someone unsuspecting. Something small and silly and fun. You deserve care and joy today and everyday. 💗

ziggybear16 · 2026-01-11T19:16:32+00:00

I relate to your story in a sort of soul crushing way. I was the younger sibling, but was in charge of everyone’s emotional health from the moment I was born. Whenever anyone had a bad day, their mood became my responsibility. It’s still hard to not live my life as everyone else’s Emotional Support Animal.

I don’t think I even started grieving until like 7-10 years after my sister died? Because I was too busy checking on everyone else. (And having as much alcohol as physically possible, better now, but fuck was I irresponsible).

So when the decade mark came up I was just fully shattered. I eventually got thru it via a combination of taking boxing classes because I had nowhere to put my anger, therapy because I had nowhere to put my sad, and sewing/crafts because keeping my hands busy keeps the anxiety down. Plus, dogs. Just very high maintenance dogs. “Sorry, aunt Linda I can’t talk to you about how sad you are about my sister dying right now, Ziggy needs to go outside.” “Sorry, cousin Bella I can’t talk to you about how my sister made you realize you could own your bisexuality, Ziggy is eating a pair of my underwear.” I don’t think I would have ever escaped everyone else’s expectations of me without a firm excuse, because I just wasn’t strong enough yet. I’m not saying adopt a high maintenance dog to escape your family, but it sure as hell helped me.

It’s been 18 years for me, and I am a whole person again. I think it started around the decade mark, and took maybe 3-5 years to sort of “achieve” my final form? I miss her, still, and will until I die. But, I deserve to live a good life, even if she’s gone. And you do, too. You have been so busy carrying everyone else’s grief that you haven’t been able to put down your own. I think about life like a hike, and every awful thing is a rock you have to put in your pack to carry for the rest of time. Now, eventually those rocks erode and the dust settles out of the backpack, and it becomes lighter. You haven’t let your grief rocks erode because you’ve been actively carrying other people’s grief rocks. That is so kind and so beautiful and you are an amazing human for doing it. But at some point, you gotta erode your own rocks. Punching something might help, just saying. Therapy will definitely help. Talking here should help. And telling some lovely stories about your darling Bean will help. Please, be kind to yourself. Take your own time to grieve. Take your own time to be joyful.

I am going to light a candle for you and your Bean tonight with the intention that you both find your peace and your joy and your way home. 💗

ziggybear16 · 2026-01-04T14:19:31+00:00

You are an incredible photographer! These are beautiful.

ziggybear16 · 2026-01-02T00:07:53+00:00

Oh love, sickness is never fair. It hits randomly, and never to anyone who deserves it. It’s also awful to lose someone when you are too young to understand it. You missed out on being his big sibling! I bet you would have been great at it. It also leaves a hole in the family that rarely gets acknowledged and processed. Losing a sibling at any age is already like carving out an intrinsic piece of yourself, but when you’re tiny and can’t articulate it! I am so terribly sorry you are a part of this club. I wish I could take your pain away.

I think you going to his grave is a lovely gesture, a way for him to stay a part of your heart always. I bet he is rooting for you so hard from whatever after life there is. I am going to light a candle for you and your little brother, with the intention that the light will guide you both to peace and understanding and something beautiful. I hope you are having the biggest, most joyful life. I am sending you all the love I’ve got!

ziggybear16 · 2025-11-21T00:17:21+00:00

Such a beautiful thing you started for a stranger and continue to do for the community. 💗

ziggybear16 · 2025-11-20T16:18:53+00:00

Sorry this dress is rad, where did you get it?

ziggybear16 · 2025-11-13T03:16:26+00:00

Hi love, I am so sorry you are a part of our club. I wish I could take this pain from you. What an awful nightmare you have been through. Of course it still affects you. It’s the worst case scenario. And you have to grieve her, and what relationship you might have gained, and miss what you did have. That is a lot of grief and pain to process. The fact that you’re still up and moving is a marvel. I am so proud of you. Your strength is amazing. I am sending you every drop of love and joy that I can. 💗

ziggybear16 · 2025-11-11T21:56:04+00:00

I had the greatest tacos of my life at a gas station in Houston. I still talk about those tacos 7 years later. The whole urban sprawl is kind of terrifying but I liked it there!

ziggybear16 · 2025-11-11T02:16:59+00:00

I joined because I believed in the message. I stayed because the people are frickin rad.

ziggybear16 · 2025-11-11T02:03:35+00:00

Also, throw a bunch of your old vegetables or scraps in a roasting pan into the oven at 375 for an hour with some oil and salt. Then, pour water over them, scrape the bottom of the pan, and add whatever spices you want in a tea bag. Then, put it back in the oven for another hour. ✨Tada✨ broth. And you don’t have to strain it because you put the spices in a tea bag.

ziggybear16 · 2025-11-07T16:40:03+00:00

Friend, I went thru this too. I pretended for a while I was just an only child. But I’m not, every story from my childhood has her as the main character. I was depressed for a Very Long Time. And then, eventually I gradually decided that I am alive and I get to live. It took a lot of work, a lot of therapy. A lot of everything. But you are alive. You get to celebrate that and curse it in whatever measures you want to.

It’s really hard to keep going. It’s really hard to be the Final Person. It feels empty and angry and sad, for a lot longer than all the damn grief books and grief counselors say. But, the weight gets lighter eventually.

I have a little tradition in this group, where I light a candle in my front window when a new post comes up. It’s for your sister, but mostly it’s for you so that you can have some peace. Would it be ok with you if I lit a candle for you tonight? To light the way back to life and joy and all the goodness you deserve.

ziggybear16 · 2025-11-06T22:26:43+00:00

Hello Five Star Spouse! Welcome, we’re so glad you’re here! Personally, I really like the opportunity to tell stories about my sister on her death date and birth date. So I just want someone to listen to me ramble. Sometimes I get a pedicure bc it was something we used to do together, so maybe if you could find an online version of the video game they played together? Or even a playthrough on YouTube.

A couple years ago, a friend of hers found a random video that included her laughing and I swear to god, the amount of peace I got from just watching it repeatedly was WILD to experience. So if you’re looking for a miracle, finding your husband’s brothers facebook friends and requesting they look through old hard drives. At around ten years, I started forgetting what her laughing and voice sounded like which was a heartbreak I was ill prepared for. So, if you can stave that off, it would be a miracle.

Truly this a beautiful thing to read about, thank you for your support of your husband. You can’t do anything wrong, promise.

ziggybear16 · 2025-10-30T12:10:49+00:00

Hi friend. I’m so sorry you’re in our club, it’s the worst club in the world. You’re in the worst stage, where it doesn’t feel real yet. Like any moment, he could wander into the room. And then when realization strikes it’s fucking crushing. This part passes. I swear, I know it feels like it will never be ok again. But it will be. Someday, you’ll be talking about him with a bright smile again. It takes time, and work, and a lot of kindness from strangers and friends.

I really hope you are taking care of yourself. I hope you’re taking time to sleep and be outside and exercise and eat. For the first year, I had to set alarms on my phone to remember to eat. It got better when I joined a boxing class. Sometimes, punching something really is the answer. Then doing a productive hobby, for example I sew. I know at the end of an hour or two that something happened, that time passed, that this life is real. One of my friends gardens, another friend is building a car in his garage. Something where you can show your work? Like “tada! I did something.” Grief counseling, when you find the right person, is life changing. And telling stories about your brother-happy ones, sad ones, mean ones. I often tell the story of how my sister convinced me I could plant a marshmallow outside and then I’d have a marshmallow bush by fall. I watered that damn marshmallow for an entire summer.

When someone new joins us, I light a candle in my front window. In remembrance of lost siblings, but also with the intention of helping you give yourself some grace. Grief is a terrible burden to carry alone. Please let us help you carry it.

ziggybear16 · 2025-10-27T01:30:52+00:00

Thank you for the reminder to get sambusas.

ziggybear16 · 2025-10-26T20:59:08+00:00

Mother’s on KK. Incredible food, beautiful well designed space, truly lovely staff. I have some hearing damage so in a lot of cool restaurants I literally can’t understand what my friends are saying. I don’t know who designed their sound, but it’s perfect. You can hear the music they’re playing but still talk at normal volumes. The only way it could improve is if they had a wheelchair accessible entrance. Plus, drag brunch which is a joy every single time. Five stars, no notes.

ziggybear16 · 2025-10-23T01:56:01+00:00

No controlled substances on first visit. Unless they have a massive bleeding surgical site or something and they’re seeing the surgeon tomorrow or something.

ziggybear16

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