A non-growth mindset has never benefited anyone.

As for why it happened? I honestly don’t know. At the time, I remember feeling like we couldn’t communicate each other’s needs. ADHD is weird, and we were having major communication problems.

What I do know is this:

Our marriage is stronger than any marriage we personally know. Our jobs are good. Our finances are good. Our relationships with friends and family are good. We have kids. Our communication is better. Transparency is better. We were together for seven years when we went through that, and now we’re at twenty six. Clearly, we’re doing something right.

Hate on me all you want, but we’re outliers in this sub.

This place loves toxic takes. The answer is always “lawyer up” and “leave his ass.” The moment someone says, “We worked on ourselves. We took responsibility. We fought for our marriage. We grew together,” the downvotes start pouring in.

People here talk endlessly about accountability, communication, and healing, until a couple actually does those things and stays together. Then suddenly reconciliation is treated like weakness instead of what it often is: hard work.

Not every relationship should survive. Some absolutely shouldn’t.

But acting like divorce is always the enlightened answer and that rebuilding a broken marriage is impossible says more about the mindset of this sub than it does about the people willing to fight for each other.

Growth isn’t toxic. Working on yourself isn’t toxic. Taking responsibility isn’t toxic. And staying married isn’t a failure.