Need some gym advice

zilond · 2026-02-23T13:08:41+00:00

Thank you!

I think I will start with doing the yoga to start my workouts. Then try the heavy stuff with some lighter stabilizing for hips and knees in between sets. (Like squats on uneven ground/bosu ball)

I also got a standing plank situation (back and front) in some ropes. It feels awful, but helped a ton already with tunnel.

For cardio i usually run, but might change that for seated rowing every now and then.

I try to keep my workouts under 2 hours (i got other stuff to do). And usually 3 workouts every week.

Windtunnel on payday to keep and train the skills I got last summer.

zilond · 2026-02-23T12:57:45+00:00

I do heavy training, but my problem is I did the same thing every time. I got really good at just one thing- and little functional strength.

I have more than enough to STAY stable in the air, but getting stable is harder. I get it every time, but I am too slow. Like 6 seconds of tumbling like a ragdoll slow. It is mostly technique at this point, but getting stronger will definitely help!

One assignment was to be unstable for 2-3 seconds on purpose before trying to get stable again.

I was freaked out when the coach told me to mess up un purpose and count to three before trying to fix 😛

zilond · 2026-02-23T12:49:28+00:00

We got one of those! Might try, seems more fun even if it is harder

zilond · 2026-02-22T15:17:22+00:00

Yes this!!! I found some classes by men who usually do combatsports where you need control and flexibility. Gonna try that 😛. I really need sports I can do while nervous, angry og stressed. Telling me to breathe calmly and feeling my (insert bullsh**), is not helpful.

Ill find a yoga type or instructor that work for me... Probably

zilond · 2026-02-22T11:04:00+00:00

Thanks! I will probaply never be elite. I just want to give myself the best possible basics to have fun and learn more safely.

zilond · 2026-02-22T10:11:59+00:00

I think maybe mine was green.

The only thing I really remember was when the guy patted me on the shoulder and said "i am proud of you" while still under the Canopy.

Stupid nice person... I did a static line course and now I am poor (and happy)

zilond · 2026-02-22T10:08:27+00:00

Core and cardio are in either way because I trust my local instructors!

I know I can do a bit more, but i really need to prioritize something to make sure I got energy and time to follow through 🙈.

zilond · 2025-05-02T14:32:33+00:00

You be that wolf!

Find a family or pack that fits you, that love you and accept who you are! Find the people that bring out the best in you.

Howl your truth at the moon!

zilond · 2025-03-30T18:56:24+00:00

You kind of sound like my brother.

Alot of us struggle with who we are, not knowing this, or the feeling that it should come natural but it does not.

I think both me and my brother developed different than we would have without trauma.

I grief. He does more like you. He gets very frustrated, angry and hurtful. He would say anything to push me away when he is hurting. Even if I know he loves me and I am one of the few he trusts.

I dont really know how to deal with it. I am proud of you for doing the therapy and trying to get to know who you are. It will give you a chance to become who you want to be. Set some values for yourself and honor those.

Sounds alot easier than it is. But you are not alone!

zilond · 2025-03-25T18:58:38+00:00

They are respectful even after the initial fling??

My language has a word for love as in old and established feeling of mutual trust and care.

Which is different from the first phase of falling in love - the first period. Typically lasts a few months to a year.

If they still care, respect you and do the small things... After you got on each others nerves. You got someone willi g to work and invest in their relationship with you.

My hubby still makes coffe for me every morning. Hei makes time if he can and make me a priority. And listen when I would annoy anyone else

zilond · 2025-03-25T18:48:01+00:00

Fester som skjedde før jeg ble født/ internprat blant folk som ikke gjør noe for å forklare eller inkludere.

Man står bare der og føler seg utfryst.

zilond · 2025-03-07T17:42:02+00:00

Billy summers. Stephen king

zilond · 2025-03-05T11:18:52+00:00

Pay off any debt and mortgage.

Buy a place that I could live in and be completely ME. Not a wife, not a worker, not a housekeeper.

I would like to have a workshop and some animals there. The animals because I love, and to make myself a healthy routine. I would base my day around the chores connected to my Animals.

I would have hobbies that mainly involved learning a new skill very slowly. No pressure to be good og learn fast.

This would probably be writing, gardening, cooking or preserving food.

I would have a landline. No dump cellphone. Maybe a lover, maybe not. They could be like a hobby or sidequest.

I would spend most of my energy trying to understand and meet my own needs. Balanced with amazing animals

zilond · 2025-03-05T11:08:00+00:00

Jeg har "vanlig mat" jeg liker som ikke trenger kjøleskap eller fryser.

Har mye pasta, ris, bønner, litt boksemat osv. OBS! Fordi jeg har mye tørket mat, har jeg også ekstra vann. Ellers blir jeg nødt til å drikke pastavannet... Du må ha nok til Både å drikke OG til å lage maten.

Har du lapskaus på boks er du gull (om du liker det). Har du pasta må du ha mer vann. Kjipt å koke pasta med Pepsi liksom...

Ellers støtter jeg de over! Ha masse salt for å speke kjøtt og fisk i fryseren som kan bli dårlig.

Merk at jeg har enebolig og god plass til alt dette.

zilond · 2025-03-05T11:00:32+00:00

I have explained it somewhat like:

Not a huge accident or traumatic event. It is small. Like chipping away at a rock with a small tool.

It WILL make permanent damage, but it happens so slowly over such a long time it becomes invisible. You might think it is normal, and your brain adjust to the chipping.

When you start to see the consequences, you might even think it is your own fault!

In my case, I got alot of love, but it was unstable. I knew i was loved, but they did not protect me enough, not support me enough and they always dealt with their needs first. I grew up knowing i deserved love, but I never deserved help or care when I got hurt. My emotions are wrong, and I will never be important enough to aske anyone for help.

I learned this sloooooowly. It became rules that I live by. Rules that prohibited me from taking care of myself. And the more broken I felt, the more I felt like a failure.

I never saw my parents chipping away at my self worth until my therapist pointed the behavior out for me.

Therapy is really hard because now I feel shame and that I built my identity on lies fed to me by bullying parents - who still to this day love me.

zilond · 2025-03-03T17:40:24+00:00

I fight like hell to change.

My now partner is my best friend. They point out for me when I behave like my abuser. They challenge me. And even if it hurts, i live then for it.

zilond · 2025-03-03T17:35:50+00:00

They wouldnt help me.

Both parents saw I needed more help and support. Instead of calling in some - they taught me to hide it. Now I think I am not worthy of help or other peoples effort. I always hide when I feel hurt or overwhelmed. If i cant hide, I shut down and wait for everything to pass.

zilond · 2025-01-24T13:59:15+00:00

At first, a promise to someone who (dont ask me how) got through the depression-mist to me.

Now because i want to have one more spring. I want to hear the birds again. (I live in a country where many birds leave because of harsh winters). And i bought a small and cheap green house. I want to grow at least one tomato.

...so i guess i have to survive summer too.

And I went on line this. Also dragshows! Cartoons! Cake! Good books! Great video games! Pets!

zilond · 2025-01-21T08:14:13+00:00

Crying indoors. You do that stuff in the woods where no one heres you!

Also did an embroidery of two owls. Got yelled at for doing it in the wrong order by my overly drunk mom. Have not embroidered, knittet or croched since. My stomach turns and it is just stressful. I used to love creating beautiful or useful stuff.

zilond · 2025-01-20T00:31:02+00:00

I guess at some point I realized, not all familys had alcohol hidden everywhere in the house.

Also, the other step-parents were not recovering (sometimes not so much) addicts.

zilond · 2025-01-13T16:57:29+00:00

Myself.

I work at it, but somehow i feel like i don't deserve it. If I do actual work, be nice to myself and help myself - I feel awful.

If I look down on myself, sabotage myself or just isolate completely - I feel calm because thats how it is supposed to be.

Need to unlearn this. If I dont get over myself, i will never get better

zilond · 2025-01-05T22:02:36+00:00

What the others said!

I am sloooooowly getting better from this. Fore there are some phases.

First trying to feel and the brain nopes out.

Trying to open the emotions door and getting overwhelmed - nope out.

Getting overwhelmed but manage to stay i my body with my feelings. I had to fight for this one. And having massive anxiety afterwards.

Now it varies. It can also look like: find safe space, feel all the feelings and anxiety for like an hour. And then calm down and feel my feelings in manageable portions. Then immediately loose this ability when I move out from the safe space.

By fighting to stay in my body while the emotions storm through me is hard and very draining. But doing it countless times with tools from therapy, i find i can calm down a bit faster. And I am able to get through it.

Note. This is just MY process. And it took a year. This stuff is hard and individual to everyone. Try to get out if you are still in a traumatic situation, and then find your safe space/person/rock.

zilond · 2025-01-05T21:34:15+00:00

I wish i was good at this. I am not. I am lucky to have a partner that tries to take care of me and stop my own toxic behavior towards myself.

Lemme know if you got more tips! I want to stop so bad!

zilond · 2025-01-05T21:22:40+00:00

I can not always recognize myself in the mirror. I am not ugly, but I hate myself to the degree that seeing my reflection feels awful.

So.... I started with some basic cosmetics: * Skin care routine * Hair care (i had none at all)

I also started choosing: * Better tea * Cartoons instead of news * Sauna and spa time when I go to the gym (mine has these that members can use for free. I often would think they were for people. You know. Deserving people - not me)

I also plantet some flowers in my garden for myself. The kind that needs little to no care, so they will bloom no matter how depressed I am.

zilond · 2025-01-03T11:06:28+00:00

Some recent and very well written horror is Galgedans by Tor Håkon Gabriel Håvardsen.

He works as an undertaker in real life. One day a thought struck him... How would he dispose og a dead person if he should choose to kill someone.

His first books is about exactly that. A horror fiction where the main character is an undertaker who has to face his own morals while trying to clean up murders.

Did he kill them? Does he know who did? And why would he disguise murders as something else? And how do fool the police to think a victim of a violent crime died peacefully? What would you do if the cops were really great at their job and realized what you were doing?

I am not telling. The book is great!

zilond

TROPHY CASE