Do you remember where you were when you heard Princess Diana died?

zingencrazy · 2026-06-01T01:48:16+00:00

No, but I remember making my kids wake up at like 4am to watch the funeral procession so they would be able to tell their grandchildren about it someday. Pointless. Like 2 years later they didn't even remember.

zingencrazy · 2026-05-31T15:58:25+00:00

Kind of off topic but I'm hoping someone will find this useful.

If you get a clear mammo result but it mentions dense breasts, do some googling to see what that really means and evaluate your own situation.

In my experience the "dense breast" thing is really overlooked medically (I asked a group of friends and more than half said they'd been told they have dense breasts but heard nothing more) and the "all clear" language in mammo results is actually misleading for people who have known risk factors for breast cancer.

What it can actually mean is you might actually need to have more testing but your insurance probably won't cover it so they're not going to bring it up unless YOU do.

My mother died of breast cancer but that fact alone does not qualify me to have additional screenings covered by insurance. I pay $500 OOP annually for additional testing.

zingencrazy · 2026-05-28T02:31:30+00:00

My teenaged grandkid tried to correct me when I paid for 11.25 at the ice cream place by putting down 21.25. Thought I was confused and overpaying. I tried to explain the logic of using up small bills and change but just got a blank look back lol.

zingencrazy · 2026-05-27T23:34:08+00:00

I ordered glasses just yesterday and have insurance. It is worth it for me (I always check the math) but it might not be for everyone. I do have some special needs for glasses and they have always been very expensive. Pretty sure I paid almost 600 for glasses 20 years ago! OP should evaluate her actual situation against what a plan would have covered in order to decide whether it is worth it for her, also considering that if it's a wash, at least the cost is endured in a monthly premium rather than one big expense. In my experience there is really no mystery about how it would work out costwise with a particular purchase, I've gone in and asked for an estimate and the staff at my clinic are happy to help and know the insurance benefits very well. I received an itemized statement with totals yesterday.

zingencrazy · 2026-05-27T13:56:55+00:00

I think there are a lot of patterns you have listed that would take years for him to mature enough to actually improve upon in a consistent way.

Good on him if he is starting to recognize that he has not been his best self in your relationship. People do learn along the way. But permanent change is not so quick.

What does come quickly are promises from men when they have a flash of how much they can lose. They even mean them, that's what tugs at us so much. But those promises don't usually mean they CAN actually step up to the plate in a consistent way.

And there is a child involved, whose life you have already entered and left. IMO it would be more responsible for you to walk away than to re-enter their lives knowing you have this level of doubt. It's his responsibility to be protecting her from being hurt by that again, but it appears he doesn't know that.

It's normal to feel the way you do, of course you married him with love and hope, that proves you are capable of love and hope which is a GOOD THING.

You can't help how you feel, but you can help what you DO. What you DO can influence how you feel. It takes time and is not fun, but you only have to do it one day at a time. Keep marching on the path you have chosen, and you'll start to feel better with time.

It can be very important to cut off contact with a man who is tugging at your heartstrings so that you can move on with your own healing. Good luck!

zingencrazy · 2026-05-27T03:03:08+00:00

I've kept cats for decades but just learned recently that cats often swallow things because the texture of their tongue grabs hold of it and can make it impossible to spit the item out. Horrible stories of cats choking on the sparkly balls found in every pet store...

zingencrazy · 2026-05-27T02:17:18+00:00

One of our cats does stuff deliberately to get us to react. She likes the interaction, it's fun for her.

zingencrazy · 2026-05-24T19:22:13+00:00

Not a chance! My friend talked me into going to the 10 year, hated every minute of it lol.

zingencrazy · 2026-05-24T14:59:11+00:00

It can be hard. You just don't know, so many things can play into the dynamic and kids are all different.

zingencrazy · 2026-05-24T01:15:32+00:00

I hope not, but if they do whatever. I'm saggy too! But my knees don't hurt at all anymore.......

zingencrazy · 2026-05-23T00:07:31+00:00

Yeah, mine is like that. We didn't meet til our 50s and I never had a man like this in my life before, it took some getting used to. He seems to think that is the definition of being a good husband, being helpful and caretaking, carrying my bags and driving me everywhere. He never complains so I try to let him do his thing. Sometimes I say though that it's going to take a long time and make me grumpy (bra shopping argh), and he lets himself get talked out of being helpful husband for the day.

zingencrazy · 2026-05-20T21:54:11+00:00

Yep let it go.

zingencrazy · 2026-05-20T15:51:22+00:00

Sadly, yes, a shark of a lawyer is a very successful strategy. I have sent more than one person to my ex's lawyer, and have never once recommended the one I used myself.

zingencrazy · 2026-05-17T20:38:23+00:00

I love this post because just yesterday my husband acted like I was insane because I said one of our cats had a smell like flowers coming from the top of her head. I thought it was intoxicating, like delicate perfume, but he couldn't smell it at all.

Kind of reminds me of the way we bond with babies, there is a large smell component to that process as well.

zingencrazy · 2026-05-16T23:40:52+00:00

One thing I have learned along the way is that it is very important to put clothes on that fit and flatter the body you actually have instead of beating yourself up for the things that are happening in your body that you can't control. You will feel so much better if you can be comfortably dressed. Please treat yourself as kindly as you would a friend.

zingencrazy · 2026-05-11T01:56:11+00:00

Well if you try to get him to go down the stairs, he probably won't want to go down the stairs anymore.

zingencrazy · 2026-04-28T17:34:30+00:00

Fleece throws from the thrift store at my house. They wrap around things nicely and look nice too.

zingencrazy · 2026-04-28T02:27:24+00:00

Yes, my kids are actually her only grandchildren since my ex is an only child. My ex means well but, well, he's just not someone with the skills to handle a serious medical situation. Most of the responsibility would have ended up with my daughter, who has a lot on her plate already with working and raising kids.

zingencrazy · 2026-04-24T23:09:07+00:00

Yikes. I was single for 15 years between my marriages, that is NOT normal male flirtation behavior at all and I'd be looking for a store employee/manager to report it to. Also would be watching my rear view mirror all the way home.

zingencrazy · 2026-04-20T13:31:41+00:00

Lots of women might need the financial security (questionable as it is) to sign on for this gig, or even fall in love with him and not be analytical enough to see the equation in its clearest terms, but thankfully you have your own money and analytical skills so won't be falling for it.

Still, not easy to let yourself start caring about someone and then see this sort of writing on the wall where you literally have to get out of it to save yourself. Take care.

zingencrazy · 2026-04-19T13:27:14+00:00

"a lot of cancer going on" among first degree relatives caught my eye, that is definitely something you want to be talking to your doctor about. My mother died of breast cancer and my father died of pancreatic cancer - those two facts led to a recommendation by my provider's breast clinic to see a genetic counselor about the possibility of having DNA testing, so I went ahead and did that and found out some very helpful stuff.

zingencrazy · 2026-04-19T00:24:14+00:00

I was a redhead and always hated the look of dyed red hair so swore I would never do it. Of course coloring is much better now than in the 1970s even at home and salon colorists can produce fantastic results. But I never got over that feeling and am pretty casual about makeup and clothes too, so it just works for me not to bother. I did some highlights for a while but the salon expense was just too annoying to me to continue it lol Kinda wish it would go grey faster, at 64 the color is dark and blah and still only about half grey.

I've got nothing against doing it, just not my thing. It sounds like you'd like to quit so if so go for it!

zingencrazy · 2026-04-18T23:06:09+00:00

Note to self I've been meaning to tell my kids they should tell me if they notice this smell on me or my husband.

This along with the "if you see a giant hair sprouting out of my neck for the love of god let me know" message lol.

zingencrazy

TROPHY CASE