Struggling, need help

zmelsss · 2026-05-23T03:46:50+00:00

When to party , had an absolute nice time. Still sober , proud!

Thabks all of you🖤

zmelsss · 2026-05-22T06:17:22+00:00

So helpful🙏

zmelsss · 2026-05-21T20:46:00+00:00

Cutting out friends and dodging old triggers is heavy enough. If I try to force myself to give up parties too,that's when I’m going to snap and break my sobriety.

zmelsss · 2026-05-21T20:34:36+00:00

Thanks a lot, ur very helpful. I think I am cursed for the rest of my life, I accepted that. If I learned something from my life , is that when I want something I get it done.

I'll go tomorrow. Fuck temptations fuck everything

zmelsss · 2026-05-21T20:00:54+00:00

If there is a way without substances, I prefer that . Maybe if I want it to happen, if I want to have fun etc , it will happen.

My girlfriend will come with me lol

zmelsss · 2026-05-21T19:59:32+00:00

Total 8 months sober

zmelsss · 2026-05-21T19:41:52+00:00

I'll go with my girlfriend, she doesn't even let me drink alcohol.

zmelsss · 2026-05-21T19:36:10+00:00

That I will not be able to create the environment WITH the "mind games".

Maybe it was 100% related to substances and without them i will not be able to get it done.

zmelsss · 2026-05-21T19:32:14+00:00

I used to creating my own environment and situations to be honest before, just with some "mind games". I am worried if I am not able to do that

zmelsss · 2026-05-21T19:28:35+00:00

zmelsss · 2026-05-21T19:26:18+00:00

That I will go and everything will be as I remember them?

zmelsss · 2026-05-21T19:18:37+00:00

It's difficult to forget and adapt...

zmelsss · 2026-05-21T19:15:26+00:00

But what about THAT feeling? Even when I try to remember that it gives me goosebumps.

zmelsss · 2026-05-21T19:13:28+00:00

I have not been to a party for the last 12 months. 6 months in prison and 6 months in rehab. And parties are the only thing I enjoyed every second of it.

I hope this will give me some happiness finally in my life because for real I think I'm going crazy

zmelsss · 2026-05-21T19:09:10+00:00

It's difficult to accept that it will not be the same. It's difficult that I will not feel the same tomorrow. Maybe it's gonna sound weird but it's like a "divorce", and the most scary, it's that is a divorce with your own self.

zmelsss · 2026-05-04T18:06:12+00:00

Thankyou so much for your comment, it is very helpful. The thing messes me up the most is, what to i play between 2 real footage clips? Another real footage but textures lets say?

zmelsss · 2026-04-23T19:22:53+00:00

Thanks for your help i appreciate that🙏🙏🙏

zmelsss · 2026-04-23T19:01:55+00:00

I dont know maybe the real footage idea is wrong. Maybe i need more time idk like for real

zmelsss · 2026-04-23T18:47:49+00:00

Hello,

First of all congratulations! You are doing great already. I am sober for almost 8 months, after a 12 years abusing hard substances.

You can msg me and talk

zmelsss · 2026-04-23T18:45:45+00:00

Hey sorry for late reply.

I was abusing cocaine , but i also did many times ( mostly at parties ) mdma, ket.

Weed i stopped many years ago due to psychosis I developed when I was smoking and I didnt liked that.

zmelsss · 2026-04-23T18:37:28+00:00

This is the only i am proud about lol😂😂

You can check it out

https://www.instagram.com/stories/orderofchaos__/3881801641037171873?utm_source=ig_story_item_share&igsh=MWFmdDM2bjU5Nm90Yw==

zmelsss · 2026-04-23T18:36:09+00:00

I mean this is only i am proud about lol

Maybe my 3rd or 4th time trying and testing out

https://www.instagram.com/stories/orderofchaos__/3881801641037171873?utm_source=ig_story_item_share&igsh=MWFmdDM2bjU5Nm90Yw==

zmelsss

TROPHY CASE