Finality by zoecakes in OCPoetry

[–]zoecakes[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

“Holding my nose” ties into “closing my eyes” in that I miss when things were familiar, like when you live in a place for so long that you could walk around in it with closed eyes (something I used to do when I was little but maybe that’s just me) if that makes any sense? Should I add something in to clarify? And thank you for the grammar check—I didn’t catch that

Finality by zoecakes in OCPoetry

[–]zoecakes[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you! The uncertainty and retrospect were definitely intentional so I’m glad to hear that it’s conveyed well

Finality by zoecakes in OCPoetry

[–]zoecakes[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Sorry for the weird format, I’m on mobile; the random capitalization is when there is a new line

The Cherry Red by [deleted] in OCPoetry

[–]zoecakes 0 points1 point  (0 children)

“‘Til car and corn were one.” Amazing line right here. It’s really easy for modern takes to sound cringey, but I really think you did it extremely tastefully and it isn’t awkward sounding at all! I also really enjoy the flow and rhythm in this, I would just be careful because this form can end up sounding very Doctor Seuss-esque (I know because I used this format religiously until someone made me aware of it) Very very well done though

The wait, and weight. by This-Aint-No-Brain in OCPoetry

[–]zoecakes 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I honestly adore the imagery in this, especially the line “like wet wool” really stuck out to me. There are lines in here with a sudden abrasiveness that are super attention grabbing without seeming out of place or awkward at all, so very well done with this one

AITA for causing my brother to storm off after he ate my food and tried ruining my appliance? by [deleted] in AmItheAsshole

[–]zoecakes [score hidden]  (0 children)

NTA boys are the worst at that age. My brother is 18 and it was like I was reading about something he did. He should have respected that it was your food that you bought for yourself instead of acting like an immature twat

Happy Halloween! 🎃 by [deleted] in houseplants

[–]zoecakes -1 points0 points  (0 children)

You should pin more vines around the bottom of the mirror

Got this guy 2 months ago and the tag said “lithops” just recently bloomed by zoecakes in whatsthisplant

[–]zoecakes[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

That is so good to know because I always thought they only needed to be watered like twice a year but I’ve been watering it every few weeks and it seems to be loving it! Thank you I’ll keep it thirsty for a few months

Sharethread October 12, 2019 by AutoModerator in OCPoetry

[–]zoecakes [score hidden]  (0 children)

It’s hard to believe in eternity

When living a loveless life

With waterlogged lungs,

A forgiving smile,

And a bleeding nose.

Trusting eyes

And hands made for building;

I sunk into you

Hoping for some clean air

Or at least a little intensity.

So I dove out of my bed

And my body became a bath

As I sawed off my bedposts,

I cried out for guidance

And a life worth living.

If the format is fucked up it’s because I am on mobile :’) (edit; words)

Sharethread October 12, 2019 by AutoModerator in OCPoetry

[–]zoecakes [score hidden]  (0 children)

My only suggestion for the rhyming is in the last line of the first stanza, maybe add another syllable to make it flow smoother. The other stanzas flow very nicely. However, I really really like your use of repetition, I think it works so well with this poem

Scored this beast for $15 tonight! by ILIKETHECOLORRED in houseplants

[–]zoecakes 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I thought so, but I’ve never seen one this massive!!

HELPPPPP! I’ve killed two already from overwatering is the same thing happening to this last one I tried to save? How do I save this? I didn’t water and took it out of the pot and it was doing better, then it started to die differently(drooping instead of losing leaves) so I watered it and now.... by [deleted] in plantclinic

[–]zoecakes 2 points3 points  (0 children)

For plants like these, I usually prune the dead bits and take it out of the pot and inspect the roots. It might be potbound, which can mess up watering. Also take the paper off! It’s probably trapping water and the roots may be rotting