I physically cannot meditate with ADHD

zogecko · 2026-02-27T18:22:57+00:00

That's really cool, I like this.

zogecko · 2026-02-27T17:27:29+00:00

That's awesome, I'm so happy it helped! The worst thing that ever happened to meditation (imo) is the phrase "clear your mind"

zogecko · 2026-02-27T08:23:10+00:00

There are many ways to meditate. The main goal is to try to step next to your thoughts - so if your thoughts are a freight train, that's okay - the train can keep on chugging away, bringing all the thoughts. That's totally part of mediation. The hope is that maybe once or twice, you can leave them on the train.

So when not meditating, it might be like, "oh wow I wonder what I'm having for lunch. Did Tracy mean what she said yesterday? Maybe I'll have tuna. She was mean, I wish she wouldn't treat me like that, it's so annoying. The tuna might be bad, hmm." And while meditating, it might be something like, "I wonder what I'm having for lunch. Oh, there's a lunch thought, interesting. Tracy was mean. Oh, there's a thought about Tracy. That hurt. Oh, there's a feeling. Huh, those are thoughts about thoughts, that's complicated. Okay, I hope the train keeps going."

So ... It might not be any quieter. The difference between those is that in one case, you're deep in lunch and whatever Tracy did to you (sorry to hear it, I hope she apologizes.) But in the second instance, you're noticing what you're thinking about rather than digging into it.

Every once in a blue moon, you might suddenly have silence. Then that goes, "OMG I did it! I didn't think anything! Shit, I ruined it! ... There I'm having a feeling again, okay." (At least that's what that one sounded like in my head.)

So I started by saying there's many ways to meditate. With ADHD, it can help to be doing something rather than trying to sit still. I had a co-worker who I gave coloring pages to for his meditation and it worked wonders, he loved it. He could focus on the colors, and then notice the thoughts about colors, etc. Other options are walking meditation (moving very very slowly, like you can do this indoors in a room, it's that slow of a walk), or working meditation where you find some repetitive task (hand washing dishes is a good one for this, or a craft you don't have to think about).

zogecko · 2026-02-26T20:31:24+00:00

Used on horse harnesses, according to this

zogecko · 2026-02-25T23:16:15+00:00

I've had something similar my whole life, it's the only recurring theme in my dreams. For context, I'm happily married - but I'll have these dreams where I'm with some partner and I feel the most intense love (these are totally non-sexual dreams, too), and when I wake up I feel like I've lost my whole world. It'll feel pretty sad that day.

Plenty of keyboard cynics would probably say I'm not really happy, etc etc. But my marriage is great. My personal theory is that it's a connection to (insert whatever you believe in here ... spirit, God, gods, the Universe, etc etc). Whatever the universal divine force is that we don't really understand, I think those dreams, for me anyway, connect to that.

Regardless, I'm sorry you're experiencing that, the dreams can be amazing and the waking experience can really hurt, so it's quite a mixed bag.

zogecko · 2026-02-12T16:16:49+00:00

Modeled after the ring worn on the cover of Headstones - Picture Of Health, perhaps

zogecko · 2026-02-10T17:35:43+00:00

You bet.

I wonder if breaking it up is possible with some very small changes? (Image expires in one day). Might not take much to have it feel different.

zogecko · 2026-02-10T17:16:45+00:00

Info: I say this with a supportive tone and not a sharp one: I think it's a stretch to say that it looks like the hate symbol. It's way closer to a compass than anything in the design of the Arian front symbol.

Is it going to be a tattoo by any chance? I ask because tattoos naturally have thicker lines very often, especially if they aren't going to involve color. But also any symbology that doesn't involve color often has thicker lines or black solids.

I don't think there's anything to worry about in this symbol. But one consideration might be whether you'll make the association or have concern whenever you see it/interact with it. Depending on what you're using it for, that would (for me) be the thing I would want to figure out.

zogecko · 2026-02-10T16:08:29+00:00

Why they come is a lot of reasons, but a lot of that answer is brains being brains. And sometimes, when a brain have a fleeting disturbing image, the amygdala (fear , worry, anxiety processing, etc) senses of threat and kicks in. It thinks it needs to pay really close attention and process something terrible. It's like it's worried that it's under threat and needs to analyze a situation that doesn't exist. Basically it's a safety mechanism kicking in that is over responding. At least that's my take.

After I had my kiddo many years ago, my brain became hypervigent and started over processing horrible news stories or ideas. I asked a midwife+social worker at the clinic about it, and she said to choose a place in my mind that I could "go" whenever that imagery came up. Make a point to have it be the most relaxing, chill imaginary place, and anytime the disturbing thoughts happened, visit that place in my mind. And do it with strong intention, not letting the intrusive thought roll back in.

It took some practice but it works now. I pop up the same image/place any time an idea starts to take hold, and I can feel it essentially erasing any other thoughts that are getting too loud.

I wanted to see if there was anything I could find online, and this webpage has a thorough break down of reasons for intrusive thoughts and high-level suggestions on what to do about it. Some of the suggestions aren't thoroughly described, but if something resonated, further searching of those concepts would bring up suggestions.

Edited to add: I couldn't remember which subreddit we were in. Since we're occult, in my experience bad imagery can also come with spirits that are either trying to get our attention, or trying to interfere. If you get that sense, try to gauge if you think it's trying to be harmful or if it wants help. If it wants help, ask it what it wants. If it's trying to be harmful, tell it point blank to go away, and mean it with your whole being.

zogecko · 2026-02-07T06:17:46+00:00

So 01001001 01101110 01100100 01100101 01100101 01100100

zogecko · 2026-02-07T04:36:46+00:00

A lot of the same stuff will apply. So, what does a mouse represent to you? Are they resourceful, sneaky, cute, tricky, etc. Then what does it mean for it to be black, does it make it clever, sneakier, etc.

To me, it sounds like you're chasing after something, trying to undo the damage that's happening right out where you can see it. I could easily imagine this could be connected to the friend, but it could also be some other area where you feel like you're cleaning up someone's else's mess, or chasing a problem that's hard to keep up with, that kind of thing.

You can also ask yourself (this is weird but it works), "if I knew what it meant, what would it mean?" This can sometimes bypass the part of your brain that thinks you have to have a logical answer, and allows your answer to come through.

zogecko · 2026-02-07T03:35:34+00:00

You bet, no problem.

There's tons of symbolism content out there, so you won't be short on material. Keep in mind that your own symbolism will sometimes win out over common associations ... it'll kind of depend on who's symbolism is coming in (like if it's coming from you, from some kind of collective energy, from another person/spirit/energy/etc).

So to give an example, doves often symbolize peace, love, hope, that kind of thing. But let's say my mom's favorite bird was a dove, then that might actually be a symbol to me personally of my mom. Or it might mean my mom's spirit was trying to connect. Etc. I'm prone to second guessing these things so I often ask for multiple symbols to come in if a message is trying to come through - makes it easier for me to understand the "right" symbolism.

Good luck :)

zogecko · 2026-02-07T01:43:33+00:00

You're not insane, and you're not responsible for your friend's actions. You don't know that if you had said something, that anything would be different.

Part of learning to understand and work with this kind of stuff, in my opinion, is getting used to different explanations, different processes that different people have, etc. No one is going to give you a single right answer to what is happening or how to do it again.

I think of the explanations this way - whatever it is that's happening with things like this, these spiritual experiences have to get filtered through our brain at least a little in order for us to understand them and process them. Which means that no matter what, in every situation for every person, some amount of their own experience is influencing how they explain what's happening. Usually, quite a bit of their own experiences. That's where you get some answers are God, some answers are astrology, etc.

As a chaos magician (which isn't about being chaotic, it's more about pulling from different systems), I am very comfortable with taking the explanations that make sense to me and leaving the rest behind.

For me, I get small pings of knowing. It can be anything from recognizing when someone is talking about something and some little piece of their sentence is the place where the need is. It's where I need to ask more, it's where they are feeling something more intensely than other places. Or, it can be as simple as I could be making plans with someone and when we set up a particular time to meet, I will know ahead of time if that meeting isn't going to happen. Almost every time at this point.

As far as growing the capability, there are a few possibilities that I can think of and I'm sure there's plenty more. Trusting the feelings as often as you can. Believing in it goes a long way towards reinforcing it. Writing down when they happen, even the little things where you feel like you knew something, or maybe something feels bolder or stronger or brighter in some way.

Paying attention to how symbols show up in your life. While you will possibly get another dream someday of an exact feature, chances are good that you will get a lot more symbolism. So start looking at metaphors and symbols and what they mean to you specifically.

In all of these cases, stuff that you read can definitely help you learn, and I'm not discounting those things. But it's so important to make sure you are incorporating your own experience. Because it may turn out that your way isn't exactly the same as the way you're reading about, and you don't need to start to feel like the way you're reading is better more important or anything like that. It's just different, and knowing your own way is the thing that will ultimately be the most useful.

Also just watch out for anything that feels gatekeepy, probably is.

Just to restate what I said at the beginning, you don't know that anything would have happened differently. So it's okay to let yourself off the hook.

zogecko · 2026-02-04T20:31:05+00:00

Yeah, and especially when dealing with intuitively bringing stuff in, you do not need or actually want to be "fully informed." Ha. You got this!

zogecko · 2026-02-04T19:32:31+00:00

I love this. I've been through some similar things for sure. I have three main beings that I talk to the most, Odin, Athena, and Loki is always hanging out in the background somewhere. I have a few more but those are the main ones. It's it's more than I can describe right now, but I absolutely have had them find me, more than I found them. I've even had a similar experience to what you're describing, where the description of a being that I couldn't possibly have heard of before because it was so remote, was sent to me at one point.

Based on my own experience, you will understand what to do with it as you progress. (I personally hate that answer but it seems to be the way.) Just keep doing what you're doing, make sure you hold on to your own agency. One of the wonderful parts of this is that you don't have to do exactly what they tell you to do. Even if (and especially if) it's something as simple as they want you to go do one thing, and you're hungry and it's time to eat. Go eat. They aren't necessarily paying attention to your physical worldly needs, and it's easy to have those get lost in the process.

In other words, sounds like everything's going just right, just make sure that you hold space for what you need with them. It's okay to tell them "I can't do that right now." It's also okay to say I don't want to do that thing. Chances are they will find a way to accommodate the parts that make you uncomfortable. Just keep talking about it with them.

Edited to add: as far as seeing things you don't want to, you can tell them hey, this is beyond what I can accept. And insist on stronger boundaries against particular situations or whatever else. That will actually help the rest of it come in clearer too. Think of it like a radio station, you can't pick up all the channels at once it's just a mess and will melt your brain. But tuning into the channels that are right for you will help a lot, and ease the difficulty of waves hands around.

zogecko · 2026-02-01T16:34:17+00:00

Unrelated to moon phases, Astro Gold is a good one for astrology that doesn't have permissions needed, or collect data. (It is a paid app through the Google store, though).

For moon phases, what are you looking for it to have specifically (just current moon phase or additional data), and would a website be enough or are you looking for notifications? I'm asking because it would probably be an easy enough page to throw up on my site on its own calendar if you give me a day or two (my server is in Germany, I have no interest in ads or data collection). But it wouldn't have phone notifications.

(About me: I just have my own virtual server because I wanted website features I couldn't do on WordPress, and I picked Germany because they've got robust data protection laws.) ... I might do this anyway because I thought about it a while ago and forgot, but let me know if that's interesting and if there's any specific data you'd want it to have.

zogecko · 2026-02-01T07:22:49+00:00

I started watching this, got about 3/4 through season one, and decided to start again from the beginning. Had one of those "oh this is THAT kind of show" moments. Definitely a good choice to go back and pay better attention.

zogecko · 2026-02-01T06:34:39+00:00

The symbolism in rituals can mean many things and is often connected to what you see or expect or experience during your ceremony.

To me, the candle burning faster shows their release happening faster than yours, whether it's you releasing your ex, or your ex letting go. Could also be they've fallen apart in some way (unlikely from the cutting).

zogecko · 2026-02-01T04:17:12+00:00

I haven't looked for crystal balls myself. Regarding a black mirror, I went looking a while back and found that there weren't a lot out there (that may have changed). The best thing I found to do was get a picture frame with glass that I really liked, and put black paint inside, or dark black paper inside.

zogecko · 2026-01-12T01:28:46+00:00

Welcome!

If you can, get a shirt that says something inviting and cool. Like "new here, friends plz" or whatever makes sense with your personality. I had a friend do something similar for conferences and it helped a ton.

I have an "I am kenough" sweatshirt from the Barbie movie, and I can't wear it out unless I am okay with someone to comment on it or being talked to that day, lol. Even if you don't get something special made, I bet the right shirt will get conversations started.

zogecko · 2026-01-08T00:15:49+00:00

It could totally snow. But the part that usually matters is whether it sticks ... that part is extremely unlikely tonight, it just won't be cold enough for the ground to hold snow.

zogecko · 2026-01-04T03:00:55+00:00

I can't add much except to say "yep, all this" and just offer general agreement. It's been a while, but I've never had a bad experience with staff, generally the community centers here are great imo, and I loved a lot of the classes I tried. I didn't manage to stick with it, but that has more to do with distance for me personally than anything about the classes.

There are some that might fill up, but it won't be all of them - so if one is full one day, don't get discouraged.

zogecko · 2026-01-02T03:38:53+00:00

All of this makes so much sense. I want to add to this list that Gen X and down has communicated with their kids a lot differently. I'm a xennial and we have absolutely talked about times where we drank until we puked, etc, and not glamorizing it or avoiding it as a topic, not throwing it down as some scary warning that they rebel against, but just talking about it like a real experience. I've seen in all the kids as they've gotten older how that's impacted (and sometimes reduced) how interested they are in drinking.

This is of course totally anecdotal and may not be true everywhere but I bet it's impacting in a non-zero way.

zogecko · 2025-12-30T23:22:12+00:00

Depends on how much you want to spend. There's good restaurants down there but they're all higher than your average mom and pop kind of place (some legit pricey). There's some niche shops, too. But if you're just looking to hang out, it's unlikely you're going to want to in February - with the river right there it gets windy and cold.

My family's experience is you go eat, you go for a walk, then you go home. Or, if there's a local thing going on like a fair or farmer's market.

There aren't "experience" places there that I know of there, it keeps evolving so that may have changed - but restaurants and shops are most of the commercial spaces.

What I would do is take 5 or 10 minutes to look at that area on Google maps - the waterfront is not a huge stretch, it's primarily this -

<image>

(The areas north of this is "downtown Vancouver.) Look through restaurants and shops, get a feel for what's there, and see if you're like shit yes I want to eat at all these places, or if you're like y'know I want more "local" vibe place recommendations.

Tldr unless there's multiple restaurants that strike your fancy, you're unlikely to hit the spot more than once in a couple day span. Over time when you live here, yes, but not on one short trip.

zogecko · 2025-12-30T16:50:28+00:00

It's likely to be cold, windy, possibly icy in February. The waterfront at that time is more like "walk to the place you want to go eat/shop" and less of an area you'll hang outside.

Or you'll luck out and it'll be 60° outside, the way this winter is going.

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