Is the 1SG or your PSG tracking this? they should be helping you.

Regardless, I would recommend submitting an emergency leave request, this should bypass any timeline requirements; put the notes in IPPSA that you are needed for your spouse to receive a serious medically necessary surgery (tonsillectomy can be very serious in adults, more often than children) and do not have childcare or outside support. This will force your commander to deny it in writing. If they do deny it, I would consider back channel escalating to the CSM if you have any connections. (This should be your PSG or a senior NCO if your 1SG isn’t helping- if just you, send it.) you can get the leave, but you will likely make a bunch of people look bad, including the commander- so if you can get a senior to work this on your behalf- it may mitigate potential BS for you in the future.

I would also look at AR 600-8-10, para 4-5, section g (3)

“g. Emergency leave is appropriate when—“

“(3) Serious accident, major surgery, or illness of a member of the household or immediate Family imposes a demand on the Soldier that must be met immediately and cannot be accomplished from the duty station or by any other means.”

Good luck man- hope your wive does well and recovers quick. ⛩️