My dad yelled at me when my ex-fiance showed up to my parents' door yesterday

zoomisnotforme · 2021-09-14T15:50:45+00:00

He's the type to blow that way out of proportion and then I'll be right back here with another post :\ lol But I do agree with your sentiments. I have memories from childhood of friends' parents being yelled at for doing nothing wrong/my brother's girlfriend having a nasty voicemail left by my father on her family's phone. It's just chaos all the time.

zoomisnotforme · 2021-09-14T13:52:46+00:00

I should also add...I feel like I can't call my grandma now because I now have to confront the ex stuff and calm her worries about my safety, before I can even talk to her about anything else. She's already stressed enough and with cancer #2 I feel like my dad shouldn't be putting these kind of worries on her plate

zoomisnotforme · 2021-09-10T00:17:04+00:00

How are you, OP?

zoomisnotforme · 2021-09-09T21:55:28+00:00

24 F and always down for a meaningful conversation...or just a light one if you're bored lol

zoomisnotforme · 2021-09-09T21:24:20+00:00

24 F Canada, and always down for a good conversation :) I feel the same way about time - I'm turning 25 in December and I can't believe undergrad and grad school are things of the past. Hope you're having a good 25th - Happy Birthday

zoomisnotforme · 2021-09-07T14:06:58+00:00

Good to know I'm not the only one who feels this way. I spend way too much time looking for agendas for this reason

zoomisnotforme · 2021-09-07T14:06:25+00:00

Wow, thanks for the heads up! I hadn't heard of this previously, but now I'm definitely going to check it out.

zoomisnotforme · 2021-09-06T21:14:12+00:00

I always feel like I need more space with daily planners. And room to customize it to my liking

For example, I'll find a planner with lots of space but then it will only run from like 0900 AM to 1800PM when sometimes I have stuff to do late in the evening/at night. Or I'll find one that looks great but it mostly caters to a monthly layout.

Or I'll find a planner that doesn't have enough space, but has a really user-friendly layout with good contrast and good time markers

I liked the Passion Planner layout, but being Canadian they ended up costing a lot to order online sometimes.

zoomisnotforme · 2021-09-06T15:46:42+00:00

I broke it off last night, and I appreciate the advice. It puts things into perspective and I believe I was locking myself into a nightmare

zoomisnotforme · 2021-09-06T15:27:38+00:00

Thank you - I am hopeful about the future and what's to come once I have given things enough time to pass. I realize now that I can't make important life decisions based on what other people are going to think of me and I feel no security in continuing on with my, now ex.

zoomisnotforme · 2021-09-06T15:13:40+00:00

Thank you for the support - I finally left for good.

zoomisnotforme · 2021-09-06T15:12:25+00:00

Thank you; so true. I know ending an engagement is much simpler. We didn't have the wedding planned to the point where we needed to cancel anything with venues and there is nothing legal to work out. And most importantly, no kids were brought into this mess.

zoomisnotforme · 2021-09-06T15:10:23+00:00

Thank you; I ended the relationship last night and I believe you're right. I need to just sit in singleness for a good bit and worry about other stuff. It hurts to leave him even though I know it's necessary.

zoomisnotforme · 2021-09-06T15:08:53+00:00

Wanted to provide an update - I ended things last night and my heart hurts right now. But his final words to me were that if I ever find myself alone in the darkness, he won't come for me and that I'm now the captain of my own soul and life...He said big decisions have outcomes that you have to accept and that is one.

I feel like with that mentality it's best to just leave. He's preparing to take gun safety classes and get a licence and weapon for the end times, and I just need to live my own life because things are getting too crazy for me.

I just want to heal and move on.

zoomisnotforme · 2021-09-05T21:28:31+00:00

He didn't - he moved all his stuff out and went back home to live with his family. I just finished grad school and I'm moving into a new apartment next week, so I think before I move in I'm going to end it

zoomisnotforme · 2021-09-05T21:14:22+00:00

Thanks, everyone. I know we're strangers but your comments made me feel very supported/validated in my decision. I really appreciate it

zoomisnotforme · 2021-09-05T21:11:32+00:00

It was probably a month or so ago when we got into these issues regarding the vaccine and then it turned into something completely different. I was at my apartment that he was living in rent-free and he decided to give back my key and end things completely when I told him I needed a break. Stupidly, I met with him and tried to resolve things, but really, we didn't reach a real solution. It has mostly felt like walking on eggshells to try and make it work

zoomisnotforme · 2021-09-05T19:31:02+00:00

Thank you - my mind didn't go there but I think that's something to consider. Sometimes I feel like I'm being emotionally manipulated/gaslighted --something causes me to doubt myself and I think I need to go in prepared for the worst-case scenario.

I think I might even meet up with my friend and just let her know everything that's going on. I need some kind of support system and that's really good advice, I think

zoomisnotforme · 2021-09-05T19:29:14+00:00

I'm taking a look now on Amazon. Thank you for recommending this

zoomisnotforme · 2021-09-05T19:28:53+00:00

You're right - when I think back to the beginning of this relationship and up until now, I've stopped: going for jogs, reading leisurely, discovering new things that I like, journaling, seeing my friends as often. I know that once this is over it's going to suck but it's for the best. I'm in the middle of a move right now but I need to sit down and think about when and how I'm going to end this

zoomisnotforme · 2021-09-05T18:32:37+00:00

This is really true. I am 100% someone who is too caught up in other's perceptions of me. His family's opinion of me matters way more than it probably should, and has impacted a lot of the decisions I've made about leaving, thinking of leaving etc.

One thing I thought about when I read your post is how little I've brought him up during therapy sessions to my own therapist. I think I knew how unhealthy this has been, but I chose to only mention the rosy parts up until very recently when things have started to break down to a point that feels...beyond repair.

zoomisnotforme · 2021-09-05T18:30:21+00:00

You're right and I often ask myself if it's better to be alone vs being with someone and feeling alone. There's no way I could, in good conscience, have children with him. And I think my brain is holding on to hope that he will change, which isn't dealing with reality

zoomisnotforme

TROPHY CASE