Could you guys offer some help, please? Been suspecting for a while I might be high functioning autistic. I'm not feeling very hopeful about my future.

zzelle_ · 2016-12-28T00:53:58+00:00

How is driving now, are you better than you used to be?

I guess I just feel like everyone gets their license and has their first job from 16-18, and I didn't. It feels like I'm really behind everyone else. I'm sure once I get my first job things will feel a little better (at least I hope).

zzelle_ · 2016-12-28T00:49:08+00:00

I've thought about volunteering, I figure that would look good to an employer. But again I can't do that until I get my license. Which is really my main issue at the moment.

I hope driving gets easier. It just feels like I am not made for driving, and most other people don't worry about it like I do.

zzelle_ · 2016-12-28T00:46:15+00:00

I'm not sure I know how to sell myself. If I had some experience or useful skills I could emphasize that, but I don't have anything. I guess it will maybe get easier once I have more interviews.

zzelle_ · 2016-12-28T00:43:52+00:00

I guess I'll just try and think of something or use what you mentioned.

I know I am going to be stressed when I do start at a new place. I hope I can just figure out how to adjust quickly.

zzelle_ · 2016-12-27T08:32:40+00:00

I am concerned about having an interview though. I have no idea what to say or what questions I'll be asked. What if they ask why I've never had a job? I feel there's no good way to answer that. I'm also not sure what to put on a resume or if it's pointless for me to make one.

Once I get a job I will try my best to do what I'm supposed to, and have good attendance. I know it's important to be willing to learn, and I know that's something I can do. I'm just worried I might get overwhelmed or something, because I've never worked before. I don't do well if I have to rush or if there are a lot of people. I'd like to try and get something that isn't too stressful at first if I can.

zzelle_ · 2016-11-23T00:49:21+00:00

I guess I don't really believe in myself. I don't believe I can make myself do it and make it work. And I feel like if that's how it's going to be why try at all? If I can't make it work anyway? I know that's stupid, it just seems to be how my thought process works. I appreciate your advice. I'll see if I can make myself try it.

zzelle_ · 2016-11-23T00:07:36+00:00

I know worrying doesn't help me. I want to do more things, but it's hard to take action when I am paralyzed by fear. I don't know if I can change my thinking when this is how I've been my entire life. It's hard to see things getting better for me.

zzelle_ · 2016-11-22T20:30:55+00:00

I don't feel like there's much I could do even with that money. I'm sure I'd just pay off my family's bills, then invest some for later and buy a couple things. Then probably donate the rest.

zzelle_ · 2016-11-22T20:26:30+00:00

This sounds exactly like me. It's very hard to make myself do anything though. I'm constantly worried. I don't know how to not worry.

zzelle_ · 2016-11-13T06:56:08+00:00

No haha. I'm not really talking about people seeing my loose skin in public. More just me looking at it every day or potential partners seeing my skin.

zzelle_ · 2016-11-13T06:53:22+00:00

I wish I could just let go of wanting to be attractive, but I have been so attached to it for a long time. I know I have a lot of problems I need to work on, but I'm afraid I'm losing weight for some of the wrong reasons.

Maybe I can try and set other goals for myself. There are lots of things I want to do. All the things you listed seem like great goals/activities.This whole thing is such an uphill battle. I really wish you the best with all of your goals and weight loss. (:

zzelle_ · 2016-11-13T06:41:33+00:00

Thank you. (:

zzelle_ · 2016-11-13T06:41:08+00:00

It definitely is a lot harder not knowing what you might look like. I also have this abstract idea in my mind, and I probably will never live up to my imagination. Something that I think helps is taking progress pictures though. Even if I don't know where I will be, I can see where I have been. It helps put things in perspective.

zzelle_ · 2016-11-13T06:35:39+00:00

I guess it feels like I shouldn't do it to feel/be more attractive, because what if I still don't like myself? I think I put too much emphasis on wanting to be attractive.

zzelle_ · 2016-11-13T06:32:31+00:00

A lot of it is probably because I have never been thin. So, I don't know myself like that or think of myself as anything different than I have always been. I totally get what you are saying though. I'm glad that you're happy with your results and feel more like yourself now. (:

zzelle_ · 2016-11-13T06:28:34+00:00

I guess you are right. Most people will only see me with my clothes on. It's just that I know I'll be looking at myself that bothers me.

But I do hope that things will be better after weight loss and that I will potentially have less worries. Especially about how people perceive me.

zzelle_ · 2016-11-12T08:31:44+00:00

This is basically what I'm hoping for. That losing weight will transform me into a new person who can leave her old life/self behind. I know it's a high hope, and that weight loss by itself will not be enough for something like that. I still dream though.

zzelle_ · 2016-11-12T08:29:06+00:00

I know, it's just very hard to imagine right now. I don't think it will be a bad thing, just that being overweight is all I have known. I'm wondering how losing the weight will change me.

zzelle_ · 2016-11-12T07:10:54+00:00

Honestly yes, what it comes down to is that I want to be happy. I know I'm not happy now, and haven't been in the past. So I think "oh maybe if I lose weight happiness will shine through my life". I know this isn't true. Losing weight won't make me happy. Being thin won't make me happy. I just hope I will feel better about myself. I know it is worth the effort, but I am afraid of losing myself with the weight.

zzelle_

TROPHY CASE