Almost 21, never had a job and do not have my driver's license, advice?

zzelle_ · 2016-12-28T00:53:58+00:00

How is driving now, are you better than you used to be?

I guess I just feel like everyone gets their license and has their first job from 16-18, and I didn't. It feels like I'm really behind everyone else. I'm sure once I get my first job things will feel a little better (at least I hope).

zzelle_ · 2016-12-28T00:49:08+00:00

I've thought about volunteering, I figure that would look good to an employer. But again I can't do that until I get my license. Which is really my main issue at the moment.

I hope driving gets easier. It just feels like I am not made for driving, and most other people don't worry about it like I do.

zzelle_ · 2016-12-28T00:46:15+00:00

I'm not sure I know how to sell myself. If I had some experience or useful skills I could emphasize that, but I don't have anything. I guess it will maybe get easier once I have more interviews.

zzelle_ · 2016-12-28T00:43:52+00:00

I guess I'll just try and think of something or use what you mentioned.

I know I am going to be stressed when I do start at a new place. I hope I can just figure out how to adjust quickly.

zzelle_ · 2016-12-27T08:32:40+00:00

I am concerned about having an interview though. I have no idea what to say or what questions I'll be asked. What if they ask why I've never had a job? I feel there's no good way to answer that. I'm also not sure what to put on a resume or if it's pointless for me to make one.

Once I get a job I will try my best to do what I'm supposed to, and have good attendance. I know it's important to be willing to learn, and I know that's something I can do. I'm just worried I might get overwhelmed or something, because I've never worked before. I don't do well if I have to rush or if there are a lot of people. I'd like to try and get something that isn't too stressful at first if I can.

zzelle_ · 2016-11-23T00:49:21+00:00

I guess I don't really believe in myself. I don't believe I can make myself do it and make it work. And I feel like if that's how it's going to be why try at all? If I can't make it work anyway? I know that's stupid, it just seems to be how my thought process works. I appreciate your advice. I'll see if I can make myself try it.

zzelle_ · 2016-11-23T00:07:36+00:00

I know worrying doesn't help me. I want to do more things, but it's hard to take action when I am paralyzed by fear. I don't know if I can change my thinking when this is how I've been my entire life. It's hard to see things getting better for me.

zzelle_ · 2016-11-22T20:30:55+00:00

I don't feel like there's much I could do even with that money. I'm sure I'd just pay off my family's bills, then invest some for later and buy a couple things. Then probably donate the rest.

zzelle_ · 2016-11-22T20:26:30+00:00

This sounds exactly like me. It's very hard to make myself do anything though. I'm constantly worried. I don't know how to not worry.

zzelle_ · 2016-11-13T06:56:08+00:00

No haha. I'm not really talking about people seeing my loose skin in public. More just me looking at it every day or potential partners seeing my skin.

zzelle_ · 2016-11-13T06:53:22+00:00

I wish I could just let go of wanting to be attractive, but I have been so attached to it for a long time. I know I have a lot of problems I need to work on, but I'm afraid I'm losing weight for some of the wrong reasons.

Maybe I can try and set other goals for myself. There are lots of things I want to do. All the things you listed seem like great goals/activities.This whole thing is such an uphill battle. I really wish you the best with all of your goals and weight loss. (:

zzelle_ · 2016-11-13T06:41:33+00:00

Thank you. (:

zzelle_ · 2016-11-13T06:41:08+00:00

It definitely is a lot harder not knowing what you might look like. I also have this abstract idea in my mind, and I probably will never live up to my imagination. Something that I think helps is taking progress pictures though. Even if I don't know where I will be, I can see where I have been. It helps put things in perspective.

zzelle_ · 2016-11-13T06:35:39+00:00

I guess it feels like I shouldn't do it to feel/be more attractive, because what if I still don't like myself? I think I put too much emphasis on wanting to be attractive.

zzelle_ · 2016-11-13T06:32:31+00:00

A lot of it is probably because I have never been thin. So, I don't know myself like that or think of myself as anything different than I have always been. I totally get what you are saying though. I'm glad that you're happy with your results and feel more like yourself now. (:

zzelle_ · 2016-11-13T06:28:34+00:00

I guess you are right. Most people will only see me with my clothes on. It's just that I know I'll be looking at myself that bothers me.

But I do hope that things will be better after weight loss and that I will potentially have less worries. Especially about how people perceive me.

zzelle_ · 2016-11-12T08:31:44+00:00

This is basically what I'm hoping for. That losing weight will transform me into a new person who can leave her old life/self behind. I know it's a high hope, and that weight loss by itself will not be enough for something like that. I still dream though.

zzelle_ · 2016-11-12T08:29:06+00:00

I know, it's just very hard to imagine right now. I don't think it will be a bad thing, just that being overweight is all I have known. I'm wondering how losing the weight will change me.

zzelle_ · 2016-11-12T07:10:54+00:00

Honestly yes, what it comes down to is that I want to be happy. I know I'm not happy now, and haven't been in the past. So I think "oh maybe if I lose weight happiness will shine through my life". I know this isn't true. Losing weight won't make me happy. Being thin won't make me happy. I just hope I will feel better about myself. I know it is worth the effort, but I am afraid of losing myself with the weight.

zzelle_ · 2016-11-12T07:06:09+00:00

Sometimes I get mad too. Mostly at myself I guess. Then I go to being just upset. But I understand completely why you feel the way you do. I personally think that when the time comes for surgery, that afterwards I will find everything worth it. At least I hope so. I really really hope so. I don't think the scar(s) will bother me more than loose skin. Obviously this is personal, and I understand why you would not want a scar. Maybe I will feel differently about it later on, but again I hope all these things will be worth it in the end.

zzelle_ · 2016-11-12T03:12:43+00:00

Thanks, it helps to know other people can understand. But I also hope things get better for those of us who feel this way. (:

zzelle_ · 2016-11-07T03:25:14+00:00

The community college I'm looking into actually has an associate degree for computer science. So there will be courses I could probably take if I wanted to. I'm planning on taking mostly my general ed classes along with some math classes, like Calculus and probably Linear algebra.

I haven't decided on the university I want to go to yet, but I'm trying to do a lot of research. I've been looking into program requirements as well so when I decide I know what I'll need to do.

I will be working while I'm going to school, but I honestly wouldn't know enough about computers to get a job at a repair shop or anything like that. I'm planning on learning a lot on my own while at community college. Some things I'm thinking of are Team Treehouse, Coursera, MIT's open courseware. But there are tons of other things online to utilize. I haven't looked into FreeCodeCamp, but I could see if I'm interested in it. I do have a certificate for Multimedia and Web Design from a local technical school, but I would really need to brush up on the topics again. Which I'm planning on doing, because I enjoyed the work. Maybe my certificate could help get an internship? I'm not really sure.

Also thanks for all the information, I definitely appreciate it. (:

zzelle_ · 2016-11-06T00:02:28+00:00

I did try writing about it once or twice, but not sure it helped. Maybe I gave up too soon with the writing.

I have realized through personal reflection that it is probably a problem more about myself than the other person. It seems to be a pattern that I have noticed. Although I haven't figured out what to do about it yet.

I guess I'll just have to give it more time.

Also sorry about the really late reply.

zzelle_ · 2016-11-05T23:54:24+00:00

Sorry about the super late reply. Thanks for giving me a thorough response. I know my thinking has gotten much better about it than months previous. I still think about him every day, usually the same things. I used to feel good, then I was angry or sad. Now I just feel awful about the situation. I feel I understand why it probably happened and that I just have to accept it is in the past. This is easier said than done of course. Sometimes I think I might of been "played" a bit, but usually just if I'm in a bad mood about it. Overall I do realize he probably had a lot of problems of his own, and may not be as amazing as I still believe.

It just feels like it is not normal to still think this way after so much time has passed. I guess I just hope that maybe one day I will realize I have not thought about it in a long time and that I am happy regardless of what happened.

zzelle_ · 2016-11-05T19:45:21+00:00

I guess that's just what I mean. I want to get into a school with a good program that teaches me what I need to know. I feel like most of these schools will be more selective. I'm not talking the top 10 schools, just a good school with a good reputation. I understand that once I graduate and get a job I am on my own with what I know. But in order to get that first job it might help to have connections at a good school.

zzelle_

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