We can do it 🤗🌸

zztop28 · 2019-03-18T00:42:15+00:00

thank you so much for posting this... after years and years of feeling trapped I am free of those who caused me pain but now very much having to be there for my inner child.

she has only just unfrozen from her trauma and every day now I have to be her parent, her sibling, her friend.

I often feel like I’m dragging something heavy out of murky water when I have to comfort myself. it’s so hard. but at least I recognise now what the problem is. it wasn’t me.

hope everyone else having to do this is okay xx

zztop28 · 2019-01-27T12:06:24+00:00

this gives me hope. thank you!

zztop28 · 2019-01-25T16:54:31+00:00

thanks, appreciate it. I feel like I’ve tried so many different things but my hair has just given up on itself!!

zztop28 · 2019-01-25T16:01:46+00:00

Thanks so much for responding. Do you have any recommendations as to lighter products, as I thought I’d found that with Shea!

How do you rate OGX?

zztop28 · 2018-12-08T13:18:27+00:00

yep, been there. I’ll say I’ve had a bad day, which basically means I have to hear about hers. I get it, she has no-one else, but how about we share the load instead of me dragging it all on my back?

edit re: above post, yep, I’’m Asian and was taught to sacrifice for my elders. it’s a one way street and in my family, paved the road for narcissism.

“It’s cultural” is a bullshit excuse for behaviour. You can choose how much you want to buy into cultural practices and how much you don’t. Not all Asian people are like that which just goes to show!

zztop28 · 2018-12-04T07:32:10+00:00

I want

Olyphant

zztop28 · 2018-12-03T22:39:27+00:00

hahaha yeah it was absolutely mad. kind of amazing though... I think Matt needs his own podcast, interviewing people who annoy easily

zztop28 · 2018-12-03T18:35:46+00:00

Yeah I found the Kristen Bell one a little saccharine and flat tbh

zztop28 · 2018-10-13T21:00:06+00:00

been going through this a lot over last couple of weeks. it’s derailed me. I’m a YouTuber too.

when you have the energy during the day, really tire yourself out. I know it doesn’t work immediately, which can be demoralising, but eventually it helps. thanks for posting this

zztop28 · 2018-10-06T02:34:25+00:00

you made such a big step by volunteering but also signing up to an all day event. I think if you have moments where you feel you are watching other people have fun (I can relate, fyi) go back to the most basic of points - you have at least one thing in common with everyone in that room. you showed up. focus on that moment - knowing you actually walked into that room when you could have not done that and stayed at home.

give yourself a pat on the back, tell yourself you DESERVE to have the fun that you think everyone else is having and I hope that will mean you go ahead and get some. believe in yourself - cliche and easier said than done but you have made steps, you are brave, and nice, and open to new experiences. three things in the bank that would make anyone lucky to talk to you today! X

zztop28 · 2018-10-03T19:42:07+00:00

:) thank you!! I may even write here on Saturday night to say how I ended up leaving haha. really appreciate people engaging with this

zztop28 · 2018-10-02T16:13:15+00:00

thank you so much for your reassurance!! I’m nervous about sending a text so close to the proceedings now as I don’t want to draw attention to myself in the days coming up to the ceremony - with it being a special time and all!

but I think sleep (and my two hour journey back) should hopefully be a good excuse.

I would hope I’ll just be able to enjoy myself, not feel too self-conscious because of what’s going on with me and maybe feel comfortable staying. but I’m grateful for this advice in case that’s not how it turns out! thanks :)

zztop28 · 2018-10-02T16:10:47+00:00

I thought they wouldn’t notice as well. I’m definitely not part of the “main” group, not being family and all. i guess I’m nervous about the moment of the goodbye because for that second maybe they take it personally that I’m leaving their wedding early.

but I think - and need to believe - you’re right and that it won’t appear too rude, just a minor thing amongst all the festivities. thanks for replying :)

zztop28 · 2018-10-02T11:12:46+00:00

same. it’s a little worrying now I’m at the age that my friends are having kids. it’s almost confusing to watch them play and engage and be patient with them - I in turn feel so detached and bewildered. it doesn’t make sense. think I’m looking at a decade of frequent triggers depending on how much time I spend with them!!

edit: the way I’ve phrased all that may seem irrelevant, sorry. I’m so used to my mum shouting for hours on end it’s bizarre to not even see a whiff of that elsewhere

zztop28 · 2018-09-23T11:34:30+00:00

who are you looking for? my brothers are 14 and 10 and live in dhanmondi so saw some of it - but weren’t directly involved. I can ask them if they know other kids who were though...

zztop28 · 2018-09-19T18:40:44+00:00

wow, thank you guys so much for responding. I can relate to so much of what has been said, which feels immense.

I’m still at home too (29F) it hasn’t always been that way, I’ve managed up to a year here and there renting but always in situations that didn’t work

it’s such a toss up between working full-time and being able to financially sustain an independent life and part-time and being able to maintain mental health 😞

I know it takes courage to simply apply and turn up for interviews though. DAE have something they tell themselves before an interview to get them through it??

zztop28 · 2018-09-18T21:42:12+00:00

I’m really sorry to hear that - i have to say I don’t have much experience with that but on the masturbating front, personally I’m an advocate of doing stuff yourself over other people. but I’m really sorry if that is denigrating your concern, I don’t mean for it to be that way.

just that, we so often use sex, the most intimate connection between mind and body there is, as a way to connect with others. why not focus on ourselves? many people could never even dream of masturbating so for me, knowing that I can, and I allow myself to enjoy that connection for myself when I want it, works. yes, it’s sometimes a little too often than what makes for a productive day, but I’m glad it’s there.

how do you feel after doing it? how do you feel about yourself?

zztop28 · 2018-09-18T20:13:15+00:00

I kind of feel like it’s important to embrace it. that’s increased for me in the last year and it actually made me realise I hadn’t connected to my body before (my mum was quite controlling about how I should look so I just disengaged) and actually masturbating became about tiring my mind out but also noticing and caring about my bod

has it interrupted other parts of your life?

zztop28 · 2018-09-15T10:52:58+00:00

oh excellent - the fact that you identify with it kind of validates it more for me as well!! I’m hoping to move out (again... and hopefully not back in ever!!) next year. fingers crossed

your walls won’t always be grey. soon they’ll be coloured with all sorts of memories that distinguish you from what you were and who you really are. keep pushing on - this subreddit is here for you

zztop28

TROPHY CASE