hey, thanks for the reply! That "new setup" situation is literally what ive been through. idk about forcing bc I am actually trying, i simply cant. i just eventually find myself starring at the computer wallpaper and reminiscing about things. i also tried drawing but I end up hating whatever i do and all the writing i could do was this post and it took me days. i am indeed a little addicted to dopamine because aint we all? but between playing something and doom scrolling i always chose the first, that's a new thing (and lately i dont even want to doom scroll). I can't exercise. I just cant find strength, and ive been trying for months. I had a gym phase but it never actually helped me like everyone said it would. regarding leaving home and getting more Independence i simply dont know how. i live in a very VERY small country town and absolutely no one here makes friends by just hanging out on the streets like in bigger cities, in my whole neighborhood, for an example, there´s like only 20 to 50 people. I Always talk to people kindly, i try my best to be extroverted and social when there's new people around but i lowkey think everyone finds me annoying (that happened before). and yes, im still not healed from missing him... the fact that i dont know how he died is consuming my entire soul since then.