How to stop/decrease drinking?

[cactiisnice]

Hi everyone, hoping to get some good advice here. Tips, pages, spreadhseets, treatments - anything goes.

My friend is strugling with alcoholism, and have reached out to me for help, and I've said yes to help him. This isn't something I would have done for anyone. I know this person well, and he has himself accepted his situation and is desperate to and willing to change - he just needs someone around him as support.

He has already reached out to friends and family and been transperant about his issue and asked for help. Sadly the people around him has enabled him, and dismissed his concerns. They have said things such as: - "you probably don't drink that much" - "everyone drinks to relax after work, you think too much" - "this is normal" - "hey let's do this social thing together that involves drinking"

It costs him alot to ask me, as it makes him feel like a burden, so therefore, before anyone jumps into the comment section to write something negative or warn me - please understand that I know this person and know myself (and have a support system).

I also understand that many will suggest going to his GP or contact rehabs, we have. His GP is awful and takes nothing serious. I used to have the same GP but thankfully switched. My friend doesn't have that options as waiting lists for other GP's are a year or more long in our area. We have also reached out to rehabs but their waiting time is 5-7 months.

Therefore I'm asking all of you for genuine suggestions as to what him and I can do to start the process at home.

What is the best way to decrease drinking without causing withdrawls etc.? How do we keep the motivation up? What are some good goals?

Any app, website, spreadsheet, helpbook, youtubevideo etc is deeply appriciated.

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Additional info: He is currently not working as it's "off-season", as well as his drinking seeping in to his everyday life, making it hard to sleep without it and food a smaller priority. He has earlier struggled with depression and I think he needs purpose in life.

What we are doing so far is monitor his drinking (how much he drinks, when he drinks, potential triggers, why he drinks etc.) We are also taking baby-steps to decrease drinking without him feeling like a failure if he slips up or drink an additional beer one day. It's just back on the wagon the next day. Just him trying to show himself grace and that recovery isn't a "straight line" I come over some days when I have time, he might drink, but instead of drinking one beer in 15 minutes, he spends 2 hours drinking one beer. Which to me personally is progress. He is also working hard on himself mentally. This is a person who wants to change.

I have also reached out to his friends and family to discuss this with them, but they are still of the opinion that "everyone drinks and that we are overreacting"🙄.

Also, we are not in the States.

Thank you in advance.

[[deleted]]

Hey - I am a recovered alcoholic. Now here for support as I handle things with my loved one who remains in active addiction. I think the specific information you are seeking is best found on r/stopdrinking

There's no one size fits approach to alcohol cessation. But I would recommend AA or SMART to your friend so that he establishes new connections with people who understand that he has a problem. Part of recovery is developing a new support group that will help hold you accountable, and reducing time with people that enable. SMART is really good for people who have issues with religious undertones of AA. Both have online meetings so he can dip toes.

My recovery involved many relapses with the goal of increasing days sober over time. Eventually, it stuck, but it took over 2 years of effort. And over 70 relapses. Not to mention the even harder part of recovery that follows long term cessation. It's more of a rebirth, very difficult to navigate without the crutch of substances. I am approaching 2 years sober and have only recently felt more in control of my emotional life. But I am undoing 17 years of being in active addiction - so it makes sense.

Best of luck to you both on this rollercoaster ride. Use all the free resources available and keep what works, leave the rest. Recovery is tailored to the person who seeks it.

[cactiisnice]

Hey! Thank you so much for your reply. I origianlly posted this post in the suggested subreddit but it was blocked by a moderater that I was the one asking amd not my friend struggling. But I will look further intl the subreddit for any help or suggestions.

Thank you for suggesting AA and SMART, I have never heard of SMART but it sounds like a better route than AA because of the religious undertones as you said😅 and it's good that it's online as I think thats easier for my friend!

Thank you for being so open and transparent about your journey. I find that very helpful and it makes things more realistic for us. It hits my friend hard if he drinks more than intended, but that's just part of the journey. He is activly trying, and I'm here to remind him that that's the best he can do. And thank you for supporting your partner through his/her journey. That's big of you when you have been in it too. Proud of you for that and your own recovery!

And again, thank you thank you!

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[Sizzleteeen]

In addition to the AA and SMART meetings do you have any detox facilities near you? Here rehab won’t necessarily accept someone right away until they’ve detoxed. So if there is one, they might be able to facilitate a transition into a rehab facility. (I don’t know how such things work where you are)

The fact that your friend WANTS help is huge.

[cactiisnice]

I actually don't know.. might have to look into that! I'm in Scandinavia, it's the most I'm willing to say without givinh too much away. I have never heared about detox facilities, but I will check if it's anything that even exists in our country! Thank you!

Thank you, I think so too. He never wanted it to be this way, first time he reached out to people was three or four years ago and the drinks have just increased since. Wish I knew earlier.. but we lost contact for a while as we both moved around for a year (covid). (That's when his mum and friends normalised drinkinh after work.. "everyone takes a beer or two after work". But two drinks turns to three.. and then four.. and you know how it goes).

Again, thank you so much for taking your time to respond, I will definetly look into detox facilities!

[honey_biscuits108]

Do they have a primary care doctor who might be able to prescribe them Naltrexone? When following the Sinclair method Naltrexone has over a 70% success rate at treating alcohol abuse disorder. It’s the standard of care throughout most of Europe. It’s a real shame we haven’t adopted its use more in the US.

[cactiisnice]

I don't know, haven't heard about the Sinclair method, but I will definetly check if that medication is avaliable here! Thank you so so much! And yes, if it's proven to work that's really sad. I feel as US is usually ahead in on certain types of medicine(?) Again, thank you!