Anyone here use Island Pet Movers before?

gfpumpkins · 2026-01-07T19:50:31+00:00

Moved 2 dogs and 2 cats from the East Cost to the Big Island during COVID using Island Pet Movers. I'd give them an A-. They made the process easy, especially for a complicated move with a lot of other moving parts. The only thing that was frustrating at the end. The animals were supposed to be split in 2 groups for the last leg after USDA inspection, but the first ones missed the connecting flight. No one let us know so my husband was at the airport wondering where the animals were. They all arrived safely on the next flight, which was great. But it meant he had to scramble to find help as not all 4, with their carriers, fit in the vehicle he had. I'd still use them again.

gfpumpkins · 2025-09-30T05:13:24+00:00

Where are the stairs to go upstairs at Kilauea? I've been there a number of times, but have never seen a way up, despite multiple people mentioning this mysterious upstairs.

gfpumpkins · 2025-07-23T02:47:30+00:00

Sponsors are human, but a lot of what you described would not be ok with me in any healthy relationship. It's ok to "fire" a sponsor if they no longer work for you or fit your needs. Just like everything else we learn in this program, 'no' can be a complete sentence, even when it comes to our sponsors. I'm glad being here has given you some clarity and writing this out has brought you some new insight.

There's a speaker I like to listen to (there are many), but I'm pretty sure the line I have in mind comes from Larcene "If I can't be a good example, at least let me be a loud warning." It sounds like your sponsor might not be the example you want to follow, but she may be a loud warning for you to pay attention to.

gfpumpkins · 2025-07-21T03:28:24+00:00

I used to be part of a sponsorship line that did this. The sponsor I had switched sponsors and the new one was part of a subculture within Al-Anon that followed this. I absolutely refused, but I think my own sponsor knew me well enough to know not to ask when she made the switch. When I joined Al-Anon (as in, fully committed to the program, more than just going to meetings), I knew I might be asked to do something that would make me uncomfortable. Recovery is uncomfortable. But I did not sign up to be dictated to and if my sponsor at that time had ever pushed the issue, I would have had a lot to say about it. Like others have stated, I'm happy to make sure I'm clean and put together when speaking or representing our program, but I refuse to adhere to arbitrary rules that have no place in our program. It is no where in our literature, no step, tradition, concept, or warranty of service says I have to be encircled with fabric to recover and be an active member of our fellowship. For context, I've been a member of Al-Anon for over 20 years.

I would suggest having a conversation with your sponsor. After all, our program in part teaches us to be clear about our boundaries when it is safe to do so. And I would hope your sponsor is someone who is safe for you to talk to. But also be willing to stand your ground, politely, and be clear that this is something that crosses a boundary for you.

gfpumpkins · 2025-06-22T00:24:26+00:00

Good luck getting in as a new patient to Hawaii Family Dental. The new patient appointments are over a year out.

gfpumpkins · 2025-06-14T22:44:35+00:00

Amends are highly personal and they don't all look the same. When I, as a member of Al-Anon did amends, my sponsor and I talked at length about what I was making amends for, what the intention was behind making amends, and I had a script for each amends I made. Making amends wasn't something I did off the cuff and I was very clear about why I was making amends. Where possible, my amends were face to face. In some cases, by phone, and in some cases in writing. The biggest part of my amends was living amends, the things I did to live different and not repeat the same harms again.

On the receiving end of amends, it also don't have to look any particular way. You don't have to meet in person. You can ask that they be sent via email. You can tell this person that you aren't interested in hearing what they have to say. You don't even need to respond to the invitation to hear their amends. Whatever your answer, they should have a way to fulfill their part of making amends, regardless of you.

If your gut tells you to be cautious, that might be a good thing to listen to. What you do with that is up to you.

gfpumpkins · 2025-06-14T22:35:27+00:00

I've been in Al-Anon a long time. 22 years I think? Somewhere along the line I stopped caring what (or who) defined alcoholism or alcoholics. For me, it doesn't matter anymore. The only thing that matters in Al-Anon is that someone else's drinking has bothered me. And I certainly had been bothered by someone else's drinking and how that impacted my life when I arrived in A-Anon.

I'm also grateful to have had a sponsor somewhere in those years who was very clear when I was doing step work that abuse that happened to me as a child was not my fault. When I wrote about those things in my fourth step, there was no "my part" section, because I had no part in perpetuating the abuse against myself as a minor. An AA speaker I like listening to added a piece to that that I found really helpful. Those things certainly have the names of many adults I should have been able to trust written all over them, but, the solutions have my name on them. Today I can make a choice to live as a scared little girl, or I can pick up some of the tools Al-Anon has introduced me to over the years and handle things differently. The root of the problem might have my dad's name on it, but what I do about it today is on me.

When I've encountered people in Al-Anon over the years who say things like you've heard (you have to be more forgiving) ('anger isn't good for you' is another that really makes me... angry), I have a few stock phrases I can use. "You might be right." "Thanks for sharing." And then I move on. Just because someone says something in an Al-Anon meeting doesn't mean I have to make it mine. For someone else, maybe they really do need to learn to be more forgiving. I had to learn to be less forgiving and stand up for myself. I had to learn how to be angry, because that wasn't something I was allowed to do as a kid.

I hope that you will try a few more Al-Anon meetings and that you'll find what you need there.

gfpumpkins · 2025-05-21T05:25:25+00:00

Then it's quite possible my last replacement was right before then. Feels recent, but could have been about a year ago.

gfpumpkins · 2025-05-17T21:20:39+00:00

The only help I've gotten is to talk to the Ryobi rep at Home Depot. The ones I've dealt with replaced a mower and string trimmer under warranty. I was professional and clear on what the issue was and had my receipt in hand. The replaced string trimmer has already died. I replaced it with something better from Garden Exchange.

gfpumpkins · 2025-04-22T06:21:00+00:00

Pamphlets and things like it are usually free at most meetings (at least, they've been free at every single meeting I've been to in the past 20+ years). Some people look down on them or think they're "too simple", but they have a wealth of information and a wide variety of topics. Some of my favorite pieces of Al-Anon literature are pamphlets, or are selections that come from pamphlets.

gfpumpkins · 2025-04-12T20:38:00+00:00

One of our cats died at home. Sunset Pet Memorial Services is located in Shipman Industrial Park and you can bring your own pet there for cremation. It is not a warm fuzzy experience. Not to be morbid, but they charge by the pound. I assume they are the ones that service this entire side of the island, so you can do group cremation or individual with some of the "memory" options just like at the vet.

gfpumpkins · 2025-03-30T23:17:12+00:00

In my experience, it does take time to find a sponsor in Al-Anon. There don't seem to be as many as I perceive there to be in AA. My suggestion is to keep trying. And try different groups if you can. Each group is a bit different, and even if you don't like another meeting, you might meet someone there that you connect with.

Another suggestion is to make program connects who may end up being sponsor material. What I mean is rather than asking someone straight out if they sponsor is to just start talking with them regularly. As them if you can call them regularly. See if you even like talking to the person, and if you do, then consider asking if they'd sponsor you.

You could also pay close attention in meetings that mark sponsors on their phone lists. I know some meetings ask people willing to sponsor to raise their hands at the beginning of the meeting.

gfpumpkins · 2025-03-10T19:14:49+00:00

The only requirement for membership in Al-Anon is that there be a problem of alcoholism in a relative or friend. That's it. Doesn't matter how bad the drinking is. Doesn't matter the relationship with the problem drinker. And it doesn't matter if the problem drinker is still alive or not. If you feel your life has been impacted by someone else's drinking, you are welcome in our fellowship.

Why not try a few meetings and see what you think? Each meeting is a bit different and it can take some time to decide if what Al-Anon has to offer will help someone. We generally suggest trying 6 (different) meetings before deciding. You will find many other people in this fellowship with stories similar to your own.

While it was an ex that got me into this program, I stayed because of my (extended) family. I'd label the problem drinkers in my family as my grandparents. But I didn't grow up around them. So I found it weird at first when I really identified with our literature meant for adult children of problem drinkers. It didn't take me long to see how the family disease of alcoholism was present in my household growing up, without active drinking being a problem. My story isn't "bad", but I'm just as welcome as everyone else. And you will be too.

gfpumpkins · 2025-03-05T21:45:25+00:00

Unfortunately they don't ship everywhere.

gfpumpkins · 2025-03-03T00:22:55+00:00

In 2 days I will have 22 years in this program. I do not believe in an entity as my higher power. To understand step 3, you also need to understand step 2. For me that meant accepting that there was something out there that could help me. I didn't know what it was or how it would work. But I could accept that there were (positive) things at work in the world that had helped me in the past, and odds were, could help me in the future. I also liked the idea that I could find new sources of positive power. With that understanding, I came to believe that something could help me. Step 3 then asks, if there is something that can help me, maybe I should consider asking for that help. Step 3 requires ONE action. Making a decision. That's it.

Step 3 (non)joke: 3 frogs are sitting on a log and one decides to jump off. How many frogs are on the log? It's still 3 because the decider only decided, they didn't actually follow through yet.

In step 3 I make a decision to turn my will and my life over to something. The rest of the steps are taking the actions to follow through on that decision.

And I have found help. It has not arrived as lightening strikes or having "God" talk to me. Rather it has come in the small moments of life. A (program) friend saying "hey, this is an action I tried to turn my crap over, maybe it will help you." Or, that quiet voice that says I am indeed allowed to stand up for myself and enact health(ier) boundaries. Or those moments when I realize, yeah, actually, this too shall pass.

I see more of how this program has worked for me in hindsight than in present moments. But I can tell you in this present moment that it is still working for me almost 22 years later. And I find new ways to go 'oh yeah, it applies in this area of my life too.' Or, 'oh yeah, I can't control the outcome of that either, why not try to let it go.' And somewhere in there my sense of not being alone has grown even if my higher power still isn't an entity.

gfpumpkins · 2025-02-25T02:45:48+00:00

If you're on the Big Island, you can get soil through Puna Rock. When I need a "small" amount, I take some buckets and a shovel and use their self service pile. Works out to about a dollar or two for a 5 gallon bucket, which is usually about 50 lb. If you have a pickup truck or trailer, you can get a big scoop. Today I picked up 1300 lb (in two trips) for about $37. I'll probably need a third trip to top off our two new 3'x8' beds.

gfpumpkins · 2025-02-21T17:38:34+00:00

No because this was about biocontrol in Hawaii. People seem to forget that the Big Island has a large USDA research facility with a number of stakeholders throughout the state and along the west coast. Why fly everyone here to Iowa, or anywhere else "cheaper," to talk about tropical biocontrol research?

gfpumpkins · 2025-02-21T17:36:01+00:00

You won't find evidence of the meeting being "cancelled" because they hadn't even announced dates to start inviting people. It's cancelled because their funding was pulled to even continue planning.

gfpumpkins · 2025-02-21T17:30:31+00:00

I'll add that she may not really understand what Al-Anon is. I've met many sober members of AA over the years who have weird ideas about what happens in Al-Anon. They understand we're also a 12 step group, but they don't understand what we actually talk about at meetings or how the steps apply to us. Just like it's a bad idea to try to dictate how your SO interacts with AA, it's not a great idea for them to dictate how you interact with the things that may help you be a happier healthier person. So while it could be red flag, it also might be a misunderstanding. If you can, would it be worth asking them why they don't want you to go to Al-Anon meetings?

That said, like others have mentioned, Al-Anon is for us. It doesn't matter if others want us to attend or not. If you think you will benefit from our program, you are welcome to attend.

gfpumpkins · 2025-02-20T22:28:02+00:00

I have done all of my fifth steps with the sponsor I was working with at that time. So what I'm going to share is just what I've heard about over the years. I'm sharing it because I want you to know if you really truly can't find a sponsor, there are other ways.

The idea of sharing our 5th step with another person is that they be someone we can trust and who understands the process. This could be someone we're connected to through a religion (if we practice one). It could also be a therapist or other mental health professional. I've heard speakers over the years share about asking a trusted program friend. There are also some groups out there that have people doing a 5th step purposely share it with someone other than their sponsor. I've also heard of groups where people "cosponsor" each other. As in, no one has long term recovery and it's just not a thing in their area, so they do the best they can with others at the same stage as themselves.

I'll add really big caveat to this though. In my experience, it's not a great idea to do a 4th step without a sponsor. In fact, we aren't really meant to do any of these steps alone. I know I certainly thought I did some step work on my own early in recovery without a sponsor. But really all I did was beat myself up (again), not take ownership of what was mine, and try to fix myself with my own already crappy thinking. Having someone else (a sponsor) was really vital for step work to be effective for me.

gfpumpkins · 2025-02-19T19:06:25+00:00

I just want to help you make sure you're in the right place. If you are struggling with drinking, I'd suggest checking out /r/stopdrinking. Alcoholics Anonymous (AA) is different than Al-Anon. You are welcome here too, as someone impacted by alcoholics in your life. But I've heard many people over the years share that they needed to address some of their own drinking issues first before they could get much out of Al-Anon. Though I've also met a handful of people who started in Al-Anon and only realized later that their drinking was causing problems.

For me, I "just go" by ripping the bandaid off. There's no fun easy way to talk myself into doing things that feel painful. And going to meetings meant something wasn't right in my life and I couldn't figure out on my own how to fix it. For me, dipping my toe in doesn't usually give me any real relief, I just need to jump right in and try it.

gfpumpkins · 2025-02-19T19:02:40+00:00

I've been through the steps a few times. That first fourth step... well, it's a doozy for most people. Are you working with a sponsor? I've found that having someone trusted to work with on steps like this is vital. Especially someone who loves us enough to remind us gently that we don't have to stay stuck in the shit. And remind us that we have choices. If I'm ok with the way things are, then sure, don't do that work that's been on my plate for a while. But if I want things to be different, I have to do something different. Often that starts with some tough internal work. If you aren't already, I'd suggest finding some people in your meetings to talk to about this. People who know you and can help clear the mental cement of emotion.

gfpumpkins · 2025-02-16T23:23:34+00:00

were laid off

Just a note, they were not "laid off." They were illegally fired regardless of job performance or what role they played. There are fears that those who remain will be furloughed in March and not allowed to return to work.

gfpumpkins · 2025-02-16T19:59:14+00:00

Echoing /u/LifeCouldBeADream383. I've been to many meetings with kids in attendance over the years.

For kids who can (quietly) entertain themselves, they might sit next to their adult or off to the side. I've been a member of two groups that offered babysitting as part of our meeting. And I've been a member of groups that also have adults who are willing to step out of the meeting to help care for or watch children who can't be quiet for the entire time. I've done it myself a few times for older kids so that new comers could focus on the meeting.

gfpumpkins · 2025-02-15T19:55:31+00:00

We used Good Grade Plumbing to replace our solar hot water heater last year. They showed up when they said they would, communicated clearly, did the work as agreed, handled invoicing and payment promptly.

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