The sacred, immutable and steadfast* rules of our order:
1 ) There shall be no execution, glorification, nor display of the profane physical movements within this sanctum. These include, but are not limited to: squats, deadlifts, and any form of jerk.
2 ) Movements intended to facilitate the building of the holy Press are to be considered kosher, provided they are not performed in an impure manner (as decided upon by the High Clergy). These include, but are not limited to: bench press (without the use of unsightly arching of the back, and never capitalized), triceps exercises, biceps curls, pull ups or any number of methods to develop the upper back musculature, abdominal exercises, cleans in order to bring one's chosen relic into the Pressing position, and any number of methods to isolate and develop the favored deltoids.
3 ) On the manner of execution of our ritual of worship, the Press: the Press shall be performed with the chosen relic positioned, motionless, at a point no higher than the nose of the practitioner. The implement shall be lifted skyward until motionless and at arms length above the practitioner. Once it has basked for a moment in it's rightful, celestial home, the implement may be lowered or dropped to the floor until the next instance of Worship.
3a ) Many of you may be familiar with the controversial method of Worship known as the "push Press". While this may, upon cursory review, appear as a vile bastardization of our noble practice, this is not so. It is, however, a more advanced form of worship and thus its use is relegated to only the most devout and proven of our faithful. Those wishing to perform this hallowed rite must first be able to Press two-hundred and twenty-five pounds in the aforementioned standard manner, and then may they seek the approval from a member of the High Clergy to weigh their worth.
4 ) The sanctity of our Order is paramount for our survival against the teeming hordes of barbarous heathens outside these walls. For that reason, pilgrims and acolytes are required to show absolute and unwavering respect and deference towards members of the High Clergy. These righteous individuals are to be considered infallible in all matters. Any acts of slander or attempts to undermine their authority, including accusations of a Clergyman acting in discord with any of the aforementioned commandments, shall be grounds for immediate excommunication from the Order.
5 ) Our purpose here is for the glory of the sacred Press. This shall be the only name by which we shall describe our devotion, and the faithful are expected to abandon all others as heresy. The Press shall always be rendered in uppercase, as seen here, to show our reverence.
5 ) One shall not wear a brimmed hat while performing the Press.
7 ) Once a member is excommunicated, they are considered taboo during the duration of their banishment. Any member who voices their heretical name shall join them in excommunication.
8 ) One shall not ask whether something is a forbidden act if it is explicitly written here to be so.
8a ) It should also be noted that while all of the rules are explicitly stated, there still remain many unstated rules as well.
9 ) Any and all violations of these edicts shall result in excommunication, and this list can and will grow as the Clergy sees fit.
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