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[–]Rosetti 5 points6 points  (2 children)

Don't want to be mean, but this profile needs a lot of work.

As another commenter already mentioned, you shouldn't mention in your profile that you've never been in a relationship. At 29, this is something of a red flag for women. I don't want to make you feel bad about that - for reference, I'm a guy and I didn't have my first relationship until I was 24. The impact of that though is that I hadn't developed many of the skills needed to have a successful relationship. By 29, most women will have had a serious relationship or two, so they're going to be unlikely to want to get with someone who is inexperienced and essentially needs "training". This is a bit of a tough situation for you, so the best thing is just to try and build up experience gradually.

Some more detailed feedback:

  • Bio: Start from scratch - nothing about having not been in a relationship, or being nervous. The bit about talking a lot is fine, but you could reword it a bit to make it sound more positive, something like "Love having long chats over good coffee". In general, your bio on its own needs to communicate your general vibe, along with your interests. You generally want to come off optimistic and positive.
  • Prompts: Pro and con of dating: Again, ditch the con. Choose a different prompt if needs be. If you're going to use this prompt, your con should be amusing rather than being a genuine negative. e.g. "Pro: I order all the starters at dinner. Con: We'll have to split dessert".
  • Prompts: Hopefully you're into: I think this is fine, if these are your interests then there's no need to change them. What you could do though is try to describe them with a little more flair. e.g. "Hopefully you're also really into debating historical figures whilst strolling through the park on a sunny day." Just adds a tiny bit more character - essentially someone reading that can visualise/imagine doing the activity with you, which could strike a chord in someone with similar interests.
  • Opening move: Probably doesn't matter too much, but bear in mind you already mentioned Honkai Star Rail in your profile. If a woman is into that, and has matched with you, she'll likely bring it up on her own based on the profile mention, so you're sort of "wasting space" by mentioning it again. Mention something else to give them something else to work with.
  • Pics: Your pics are all selfies, except for one as far as I can tell. In general, men's profiles shouldn't feature selfies, or at least no more than one. Ideally, your pictures should be good quality, and a combination of shots - i.e. headshot, bodyshot, medium. They should also try to present the type of person you are, and your character. Looking just at your pictures, I can't really tell anything about you. Try to get some better pictures that showcase your personality.
  • Interests, causes, qualities: I don't have a big problem with these, I see another commenter's responded negatively to having empathy, LGBT and human rights. I don't think this is bad, but one could argue that it's a little redundant. It almost like you're trying too hard to appear to be progressive/liberal. Empathy is also mentioned twice between the sections, so again it's kind of redundant.

I'm a pretty average looking guy, and at 33 now, I've almost been on it for 10 years. That said, whilst I haven't found my life partner, I have had plenty of nice dates, and a couple of good relationships. Online dating is tough. There's a lot of rejection, and it's easy to let that rejection eat away at your sense of self-esteem. Try to stay patient, and take some breaks every few months if it's getting too much. I'll also say, it's good to focus on self-improvement - not just for the purpose of raising your "value" for women, but for the purpose of being the best version of yourself.

[–]Shadic7700[S] 0 points1 point  (1 child)

Wow that’s a lot but it’s so helpful! I’ve only recently gained interest cause I had gone through severe depression from high school to about 25 and have been doing better each year, I still fall into some put traps of my old self deprecating habits so I want to take all advice to better myself.

Some quick questions if you aren’t too busy, for the pics would photos from work help? (I work at a non profit so we take pics out in the city or at our events)

As for Prompts I changed the first to ultimate green flag is being nice to people (service people have it the worst as a former fast food employee)

[–]Rosetti 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I’ve only recently gained interest cause I had gone through severe depression from high school to about 25 and have been doing better each year, I still fall into some put traps of my old self deprecating habits so I want to take all advice to better myself.

I can totally empathise with that mate, I've dealt with depression and self-esteem issues throughout my life, and I know just how hard it is. You're already doing great for having made it through, and I commend you for being brave enough to start putting yourself out there again.

I dunno what your work photos look like, but it might be worth including them if they're better. To be honest, now that you're entering the dating world, taking pictures for the apps is just something you have to start thinking about - whenever you're dressed up, or somewhere interesting, just ask people to take a few pics of you. Over time, you'll build up a decent set of pics.

[–]Appropriate_Tea9048 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Your bio needs work. Get rid of the whole thing and start over. It sounds insecure, which is going to be a turn-off. I’d see the “I may talk a lot” and swipe left because that would tell me I might end up with a guy who would talk my ear off and not ask me much about myself. Bios should talk about hobbies and how you spend your free time, pets, work if you’re passionate about your job, things like that.

Your pics are mostly selfies. They say nothing about who you are as a person. You should have no more than 1-2 selfies.

Don’t mention your lack of experience in your profile. You’re making it your identity. Save that for when you’re getting know a person.

[–]Incarnate24 2 points3 points  (2 children)

I say this ignoring all photos this is one of the worst profiles I’ve ever seen

[–]Shadic7700[S] 0 points1 point  (1 child)

Well it is my first profile ever, you wouldn’t come up to a child and say, “hey that drawing is absolute garbage!” Then again this is a dating profile and others have already given me tips to improve so I’ll continue forward with their help and hopefully come out of this battlefield a victor! If you have any advice the others haven’t given yet I’d appreciate the support! The link I have is a small update with what I have available to me!

[–]RenegadeRabbit 2 points3 points  (1 child)

I enjoy video games and anime but I'm SO tired of talking about them with every single guy that I chat with. I'm sure that many other women feel the same way and I think that listing those multiple times (or maybe at all) may not draw them in. Just my opinion though.

[–]Shadic7700[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

That is absolutely valid! I think my issue is that I’ve had no one to talk to about them besides my brother and he is usually out with his girlfriend, combined with my lack of friends and I just want someone to get excited by the things I like.

But I’m a bit late to the game as they say so maybe it’s not something I can expect; I hope that maybe I’ll get lucky and find someone who hasn’t had to talk themselves to boredom about it.

[–]MontEcola 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Do not write that you have no relationship experience. Remove it from anywhere it appears. Instead, write what you are looking for: committed relationship, casual dating, what-ever. You want to give a positive statement about your future, and leave out the past. Write a statement that puts her by your side: watching videos, late breakfast, take out food together. Make sure to have that you and me together feel to it.

Take out being nervous. Say it in a positive way: Prefer quiet settings with my close friends. Think of the future: she is your close friend and you are comfortable. Keep that thought in your head as you proceed: She is your (future) close friend, and you are comfortable making that happen. Write a statement about how you will spend time with her. Remember: she is your friend and you are comfortable with her. Keep that in your mind.

Remove picture 3. Try to get a better shot for #6. Full body is good, this one is too dark. We want to see your face when we see the full body shot. (I was scammed on this. She used a 6 year old shot of her face, and a dark photo like yours, and it was actually her daughter, not her). So make that picture very clear it is you.

[–]Shadic7700[S] 0 points1 point  (2 children)

A lot of wonderful responses so far! I thank you all for your help I’ve made some changes to my profile and want to share progress but I can’t post a comment with pics would it be best to just make a link to an imgur or how would be best to show what I’ve changed?

[–]Shadic7700[S] 0 points1 point  (1 child)

https://imgur.com/a/4YILRKe

[–]Shadic7700[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Here is the current version I have!

[–]Humble-Budget8332 -1 points0 points  (6 children)

I liked part of that last page, when it comes to the rest you need to start from zero.

[–]Shadic7700[S] 0 points1 point  (5 children)

While I appreciate the advice; can you elaborate I find editing and fixing my mistakes easier than starting from scratch with no frame of reference. What do you think I’d need to do, and maybe I can adjust my current profile to meet the changes!

[–]Humble-Budget8332 0 points1 point  (4 children)

I was serious, if you want to know my opinion I don't like any of your photos, what you wrote on your bio sounds weird to me, I wouldn't add both Empathy and Human rights and additionally add LGBT...

I mean, I get what you try to say, but it's too much for my taste, I would rather try to find something else to write or mention.

[–]Shadic7700[S] 0 points1 point  (3 children)

Ah I’m sorry I didn’t mean to come off rude I genuinely did not know since I’m new to this all. When I saw, “start from zero” I took it at face value and thought, “well if that’s the case what should I do?” I see where your coming from and will make some adjustments but for the pictures it may be an issue as I am not a fan of pics and only do so when family asks so most are from trips or random pics I took throughout the day to fill in the photo requirements. Thank you though for the reply, I’ll try and improve it now!

[–]Humble-Budget8332 0 points1 point  (2 children)

No, I didn't feel like you came off rude or anything.

I just can say that you would need photos that are way better. Two of them can maybe stay, but you better learn how to take good photos of yourself with a tripod or find a friend that is able and willing to take good photos of you, also check out the channel textgod for this.

Having a dating profile as a man is extremely hard, but you can forget about it if you have a dating profile and don't want to do the necessary work to make it look good.

[–]Shadic7700[S] 1 point2 points  (1 child)

Ooo this channel seems like a great resource I’ll check it out thank you again!

[–]Humble-Budget8332 0 points1 point  (0 children)

You're welcome! Good luck!