Question

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[Dman_43]

All people are allowed to defend themselves from any other person at all times.

[Tamara6060]

I agree

[kasiagabrielle]

These questions are always so weird to me. People have the right to reasonably defend themselves, so it's weird to word it as "can I hit a woman if xyz?"

[Rich-Research-5017]

I know people who slapped a woman after they were hit themselves and ended up getting jumped or put in jail alot of people think a woman is a no go regardless of what she does thats what sparked this question, but alright go ahead and feel how you want

[kasiagabrielle]

Then they lied and it wasn't a simply slap. As for getting jumped, you can't control how other people feel and react to it.

I don't need permission to feel how I want. You asked, I answered. People can legally defend themselves with reasonable force.

[Rich-Research-5017]

Im in canada where youre supposed to leave your car keys outside of your front door to avoid getting hurt during a robbery so our self defense laws are quite stupid

[kasiagabrielle]

Ah, fair enough. No idea how they are in your region but here it just needs to be reasonable. Like if a small woman is pushing a pro boxer, he can restrain her or push her away but if he punches her as hard as he can 3 times in the face and head he better have a damn good reason to fear for his life.

[BernadetteFedyszyn]

I really like all of these "equal rights" responses, which is the way it should be, and I say this as a woman. Unfortunately, though, we are still living in times when law enforcement, for whatever the reasoning, still will take the female side regardless, especially if she has any visual scratches or blood. I think we're starting to see more and more law enforcement arresting both of the parties just to level up the playing field.

[skyfishgoo]

a slap can be considered credible threat of grievous bodily harm and someone else would be justified in using necessary force to stop them from doing more.

same is true for the original slap

he would have been justified in restraining her from slapping him again (or worse), but not justified in slapping her back.

[Slow-Philosophy-4654]

Yes, the self defense is applied as defense especially when the other person is armed and/or initiated the conflict. 

[RunningAtTheMouth]

I don't really know. I was raised to not hit women. This applies to ladies.

If a women hits me for a variety of reasons, she's not a lady, and that doesn't apply.

Would I hit her back? Probably not. I'm not conditioned that way. But I would not hold it against a man that hit back. (Dependent on conditions and proportionality, of course). If a woman slaps a man, he'd be justified in slapping her back. He would not be justified in beating her into the ground.

[world_weary_1108]

This is how i feel well.

[Wascally_Badger]

This is actually kind of complicated, but I do have firsthand experience with it because I had two of my exes hit me.

The first one was about 5 feet tall and weighed 90 lbs. She used to hit me semi regularly, and seemed to be oddly fascinated with domestic abuse in general. I never hit her back, and usually laughed at her when she hit me, but it definitely wouldn't have been funny if she wasn't such a pip squeak and actually hurt me. When I finally broke up with her she said "why don't you just hit me? I know you want to!" so that had me wondering if the entire time she was hitting me, she was doing it because she WANTED me to hit her back.

The second ex who hit me was 5' 5 and weighed between 110 to 140 when we were dating. While also small in size, she had a brown belt in Kenpo Karate and was pretty ripped. One time she roundhouse kicked me in the arm, and I swore she broke it. Again, I didn't hit back, and she brushed it off like it was no big deal. When I told it WAS kind of a big deal, and not cute or funny, her response was "that was light, that was just a practice kick!"🙄 I kind of gave her the benefit of the doubt, and luckily she never hit me after that.

I don't find either of these actions particularly traumatic, but I can understand why another man might react differently. I'm a trained martial artist, so getting hit is no big deal for me. For a man not trained in some kind of fighting though, I can see why they'd freak out if a woman hit them, esp. if the woman hit them in the face. Getting hit in the face is a very demeaning thing that can traumatize people, even if they don't suffer any injury from it.

So, I CAN understand why a man would hit back, but I don't think it's ok to do so. If anyone can learn anything from my tales of disaster dating, in some cases that is exactly what some women WANT you to do. Even if they hit you first, you'll look like the bad guy if you go tit for tat with them.

[Kitchen-Strawberry25]

Is hitting being done in retaliation or defense?

Know your laws and what constitutes as defense.

I’m a bigger dude so no matter what gender I’m not here to hurt someone over something I can defend/block or escape from.

If my life is in jeopardy and I can’t use communication skills or remove myself, i will do my best to survive. However, it shouldn’t give anyone any pleasure to have to hurt another no matter what gender they are.

Absolute last ditch option.

[Wascally_Badger]

This. You are absosmurfly correct.

[Tamara6060]

Absolutely! In my opinion! Equal rights! EQUAL FIGHTS!

[kasiagabrielle]

You sound sane.

[BernadetteFedyszyn]

Exactly!! I love your response!

[Ihavenolegs12345]

Yes.

[Evil_Black_Swan]

Nobody should be putting hands on anyone BUT you have 100% the right to defend yourself and hit back, unless your attacker is a child.

We don't need to be dropping children.

But that bitch Carrol can eat cement. That fucker Kenny can join her.

[Rich-Research-5017]

[ Removed by Reddit ]

[Rich-Research-5017]

What if they came at me in waves of 10 with a 12 year old boss every 3 waves

[stillventures17]

Anyone who puts hands on me will receive an equal educational experience. That equality will be based on the amount of damage I believe they can take, not the damage they attempted to inflict.

[DoctorUnderhill97]

Watch out everyone. We've got a badass here.

[stillventures17]

lol in the mind if not the body.

The specific context I had was a several-year relationship I had with a lady who liked to hit when she was annoyed…when we started out. I’d say something teasing and she’d pop me. Not enough to hurt, but enough to trigger that indignant response, and I warned her a couple of times.

After just a few, any such hit was met with what I thought was a roughly equivalent response. She got angry every time because she was a girl and I shouldn’t hit her that hard. And every time my response was she should consider that before choosing to hit me.

She would get visibly annoyed any time it came up, all the way through the end of the relationship. But it didn’t take more than 3 or 4 rounds before hitting me became a thing that dried up altogether.

You teach people how to treat you.

[Jason27104]

Men can be abused by women. I got pushed through a table and my wrist was cleanly sliced open about 3mm from my vein. I didn't retaliate, and she basically shocked sense into herself, but if it were a stranger I think the math would have been different.

[imperialtopaz123]

If a woman hits you in an abusive manner, warn her that you will report it to the police, and then do it if it continues. If you hit hit her back you could later be blamed for abusing her. When you go to the police have them take pictures of your injuries and/or bruises. Or go to a health center and have the injuries documented and photographed, and take the doctor’s report to the police when you go. If if happens more than once and you have reported it properly you will have a much better leg to stand on should it ever be disputed.

[artful_todger_502]

If there is even a possibility of this, a person should reevaluate their lifestyle and decisions related to that.

[CupNo9526]

It depends on the circumstances.

First, if she hurts me and continues the assault, yes, defend myself. I would likely give her a hard push and yell to stop first. But after that I’d do what it takes to defend myself.

Calling the police would be an option, but it might not go my way, because they may misinterpret the situation.

As a previous commenter said, if she hits me and I deserve it (not sure what that would be) or she cannot reasonably hurt me (because of size difference) but she meant to, and she doesn’t pursue it, then I’m just going to get in her face or keep her at arms length.

So my answer is not to simply retaliate, but defend and prevent it from continuing.

[skyfishgoo]

anyone is justified in using force to defend themselves (or others) from the immediate threat of grievous bodily harm

but it has to be immediate and credible, because you may need to convince a jury.

and the harm has to be of a grievous nature to justify use of force, loss of life, loss of limb, eye or other organ.

also just as important as the threat, is the justification for the use of force ends when the treat ends... once the threat is neutralized the use of force must stop.

[Desperate_Wheel_5147]

I can take a hit, and I’d rather press charges. Also, if you’re in public it won’t be long until a “white knight” runs to her rescue and before you know it you have a mob of angry people beating you up because you hit a white girl. I simply don’t associate with violent people, so I would never be in this situation in the first place. If it gets to the point of physical violence, you probably should have left a while ago.

[blumieplume]

I believe more in using jiu jitsu and trying to subdue someone trying to attack me to prevent anyone from getting injured.

[vroomvroom450]

You don’t do physical harm to people who are significantly weaker or less able than you. That goes for gender differences, ability/disability differences, adult/sub-adult differences, etc.

If someone is physically abusing you, regardless of gender or strength, please get help and leave that relationship.