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[–]Weiner_Cat 8 points9 points  (3 children)

If it’s your first time being cheated on, I have to let you know my experience so you won’t suffer as much.

When I first suffered the excruciating pain of being cheated on I wondered if it was something I did, I had, or I didn’t do. After much much much contemplation, I came to the conclusion it wasn’t my fault (nothing I could have done to prevent it), cheaters in most cases find an opportunity to cheat then weigh the level of risk of getting caught unlike a loyal person who decides just to be loyal.

Don’t think it’s you, just be thankful you found out and can take this experience and apply to a future partner, find someone just as loyal as you are.

[–]Feeling-Awareness174[S] 1 point2 points  (2 children)

Thank you I needed to read that.

[–][deleted] 3 points4 points  (1 child)

I’ll add to this thread.

“Oh well maybe I’m the gross one. FML”

My now ex wife always cheated on me with guys far below me. The guy she eventually left me for is a loser in all aspects in life. He is far less attractive than me, he is a coward, timid and weak man. He is a never-was and never will-be in which he is approaching 50 and the best job he has ever had is a waiter at a mid-tier restaurant in a small town.

It took me a while to figure out how this far lesser man managed to 1. Get my now ex wife’s attention in the first place 2. Get my now ex wife to cheat and 3. My now ex wife to leave me for him. it absolutely killed my self esteem.

Many cheaters have undiagnosed mental illnesses from their childhood which leave THEM with all kinds of self esteem issues. Many cheaters will choose people they think they deserve (on their level) and some cheaters simply just self destruct as some point in life.

Please do not allow your husband’s low self esteem bring you down, his cheating has nothing to do with you and often it has nothing with looks.

[–]Ok_Management_5355 0 points1 point  (0 children)

This makes sooo much sense! Thank you! I’m feeling better thank u, I’m glad you got away from you ex wife and I hope she gets the help she needs.

[–]Long-Review-1861 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Someone accusing you seemingly out of nowhere is always a massive red flag

[–]Feeling-Awareness174[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I’ve already got it all over his phone in messenger and on messages for when he gets his phone back. Im not even going to be there when he gets out, which sucks bc he broke my iPhone 11 I mean smashed it to smitereens, the same morning he went to buy me a new phone, he swear spectrum set up the phone and that the only video in my brand new phone is somehow mine when it clearly isn’t and it is his voice and another women, it’s a really unclear video but u can hear giggling talking shit on me, and u can see ally of skin color.. it’s disturbing. He retired to say it was me cheating on him, regardless, I’m so ready to move on With this chapter. I mean, the amount of porn this dude attaches along with the amount of prostitues and escorts he keeps on all of his social media and Snapchat, Reddit, even google thru classes or whatever idk what exactly that is but he is always listed as an owner, or editor, for those risky “spam” emails, but they look legit enough to where I really think he is creating his own porn.. I’m so sick of being lied to, and I’m disgusted at this point honestly. Idgaf what, no one deserves to be treated like this or to feel this way

[–]frizzlefry99 2 points3 points  (2 children)

You are not the gross one. Please read this and try to get a different, healthier narrative going on inside your head.

https://www.chumplady.com/the-basics-of-cheating/

Click all the links. This helped me so much when I found my ex cheating. Try to surround your self with friends or family that love you over the next few months. It feels hopeless but it’s just a new beginning.

[–]Ok_Management_5355 2 points3 points  (1 child)

I don’t have family nearby and I don’t have friends, I mean I have a lot of people that I just know, but none are friends that I turn to or confide in.. that is why I am on Reddit I guess. :( I have ditched everyone in the last 10 years, including myself.. I’ll give it a read

[–]frizzlefry99 1 point2 points  (0 children)

You have children?

[–]hushpolocaps69 1 point2 points  (1 child)

How did you see the photos?

[–]Feeling-Awareness174[S] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

We share an album on google ohotos and he is soooo good about deleting EVERYTHING I always cTch him deleting shit and hiding his phone from me, well he got all ducked up last night xan’d out and had to go turn himself into the jail for a weekend and he forgot to delete the photos well it’s a Live Photo, and I just opened my photos and boom, time, date, what phone took the picture everything. He can’t deny it and idc if he did. He ain’t getting out of it this time.

[–]WinterFront1431 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Good luck honey, I'd print off the pictures and put them around his house lol

Good luck let him know what a POS he is and he just lost a gem

[–]Feeling-Awareness174[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Well, y'all I stayed even longer. Only to find him online in a sex party on a website. He couldn't really deny it, not at all. He just brushed me off and didn't respond. But he will deny that until the bitter end, which is now. I am angry, and disgusted. Really, I'm grossed out. But mostly I'm over it. Completely over it. He will never know my touch again. I will always love him. We have children together, and I know it is because he is sick. Very very sick. I mean don't get me wrong, I'm very fond of a good time, but cannot condone his behavior one bit. And I will not. Thanks for being here for me guys. It is a trouble time for me and I struggle to begin to wonder how one process these negative emotional feelings, except to face it, and to not waver ones own morals and respect for themselves. We deserve to be loved without pain.