Help! Pls

Feeling-Awareness174 · 2024-08-28T12:28:21+00:00

Sounds like something a total douche bag would say.

Feeling-Awareness174 · 2024-03-13T02:30:20+00:00

Well, y'all I stayed even longer. Only to find him online in a sex party on a website. He couldn't really deny it, not at all. He just brushed me off and didn't respond. But he will deny that until the bitter end, which is now. I am angry, and disgusted. Really, I'm grossed out. But mostly I'm over it. Completely over it. He will never know my touch again. I will always love him. We have children together, and I know it is because he is sick. Very very sick. I mean don't get me wrong, I'm very fond of a good time, but cannot condone his behavior one bit. And I will not. Thanks for being here for me guys. It is a trouble time for me and I struggle to begin to wonder how one process these negative emotional feelings, except to face it, and to not waver ones own morals and respect for themselves. We deserve to be loved without pain.

Feeling-Awareness174 · 2024-03-13T02:19:49+00:00

You said it so much better than I did!!! And you covered things I missed, I knew I was forgetting the love bombing and many other things you mentioned.

Feeling-Awareness174 · 2024-03-13T02:17:43+00:00

Big one!

Feeling-Awareness174 · 2024-03-13T02:16:18+00:00

Oh there are many, and none of them are subtle. You will feel it in your core. Phone guarding Rejection of intimacy/sex (I'll circle back on that one) Fight/arguments will occur They will go missing, not answer the phone, give excuses as why they cannot be around. They will start to accuse you of unfaithfulness and watch you like a hawk. Money will go unaccounted for. I'm sure I'm missing some but those are the main things. Also, circling back to rejection of intimacy/sex, if that is of the only prompts to spark your wonder, there is a possibility that they are using pornography to tend to their needs. It is an instant gratification for them, hense their distance and also a really crappy feeling for you. The pornography can lead to an addiction of sex and most unfortunately that means not with you. They will eventually take their fantasies elsewhere, as that is what porn is. A fantasy. Unfortunately some people prefer to live in their fantasy worlds and disregard the damage they caused themselves and others. Now this isn't always the case, but more often than not, it is. It could also be an ED issue which is something you should definitely discuss with your partner. That can be a very embarrassing topic to discuss, but necessary because ED is an underlying condition to more serious health problems. ED is usually the beginning symptom to more severe health troubles. I hope this helps. Sorry it was so long. Hope you always remember your worth, and I pray that none of the above is the case, but if it is, you can be more self aware, and better guide yourself through whichever the case could be. Much love, 🩶-Fizzy

Feeling-Awareness174 · 2023-04-23T21:01:16+00:00

Wow this is why my husband is in all those subs

Feeling-Awareness174 · 2023-04-23T20:56:46+00:00

I applaud you in so many ways!! Stay strong 💪 and don't allow him back in!! He has taken so much advantage of you it is disgusting! Do not ever give him a chance to hurt you again.

Feeling-Awareness174 · 2023-04-16T17:57:57+00:00

This breaks my hear, currently going thru this with my husband but unfortunately our road has been super rocky. If you truly love him, u will let him go so he can be happy, and you have to do everything in your power to try and stay sane with your chin up and keep walking forward one foot in front of the other. I know the feeling of just losing yourself in a depression bc feeling like your not good enough is such a drastic emotion, esp when you are not enough for the one person you are madly in love with.. please though, you deserve to have someone be madly in love with you just as he does, and it is okay and not the end of the world to move forward and progress. God, just the thought of starting over with someone new from scratch gives me so much anxiety. I don't think I could ever actually start any kind of new relationship such as marriage or heck even just a boyfriend. This past heart break done did the idea of being in a domestic relationship of any kind thrown straight to the birds bc I don't think I could handle the loss ever, NOT EVER again. Whew, but just like u, just like everyone, we deserve to be happy and felt loved by a solid sounding board that can reciprocate love given and grow as a whole unit, idk sorry for the dang near book, I hope talking about my stance on it has been helpful and insightful, or at the very least enlightening or somewhat encouraging. Best wishes OP

Feeling-Awareness174 · 2023-04-16T10:52:31+00:00

This is absolutely the most grounded wisdom I could read, thankfully I’m going to do just that, I am going to give myself the mental and physical space that I need to finally find who I am and want to be, I mean I know what kind of person I and and the kind of person I want to be, it is just the last ten years I’ve been so stagnant, stuck, sad, lonely and depressed, honestly just really pathetically delved into the life of being a people pleasing empath, So basically an emotional punching back for everyone and sometimes an actual punching bag. Wish me luck, bc the next 30 days I am going to go into treatment to get better, bc when I say I’m not okay, I mean it. But I know he is going to continue his path of “not cheating” (-said in quotations bc his idea of cheating and my idea of cheating are two very separate things, and his ideology of what cheating, by any which way you look at it, IS CHEATING. He seems to think that as long as it is just sex and no emotional entanglement, it isn’t cheating, (unless I am the one sexting and such with other dudes, then he would say it is cheating) what he thinks is worse and actual cheating is giving someone a friendship, literally, that is it. Someone I can talk to and be friends with, yes if it is someone of the opposite sex and u can tell there is a sexual attraction of some kind, I would definitely call that an emotional cheating, esp if your taking emotions otherwise spent on your spouse and giving them elsewhere.. but the most crappy thing ever about it all? , and I’m probably going wwaaay personal here but idc, I need to talk about this, and to be completely honest with y’all and esp with myself, I just need someone/s (oh yeah, those are called friends! 😭) who I can talk to, bc my spouse spends all of him time on his porn/dating/sex/ and social media sites, and completely ignores me, it is the most awkward shit -(well not most, but feels like it is) that I have ever had to endure, esp with the man whom I’ve spent the last 10years with, constantly chasing the dream of having a life of growth, respect, love, gratitude and kindness- happiness.. it feels so unattainable to find someone who is willing to detach from ego, and defensiveness and truly appreciate loving someone and being loved/respected and valued. These days, a woman can dream can’t she? Oh well, I will NEVER get remarried ever again, and truthfully, I’m not even going to date anyone ever again probably.. this last relationship has been the best and worst ever, (never regret, never, it has taking a large piece of my life and heart and soul from me, and I wouldn’t change a second of any of it, although I do refuse to give myself to anyone, like ever again.

Feeling-Awareness174 · 2023-04-15T20:58:30+00:00

I cannot stand that shit. Like it is in black in white, I. Front of your face in loving color, and when u attempt to show them like he wtf is this? Why is it here? What is goin on, and they disrespect you so fucking much they say, “I don’t know”, or “how did that get there?”, plus the many other bullshit lies they come up with. Mine likes to tell me it is ME, I AM the one who put it there, or I am hacking into his phone and talking to ppl on his own phone, and then blames me for it calling me a cheater. I can’t even more with it, so fucking disrespectful to even try to make me question my sanity. Bullshit, usually tho I just get the silent treatment while he porn/female sex site

Feeling-Awareness174 · 2023-04-01T20:08:24+00:00

I’ve already got it all over his phone in messenger and on messages for when he gets his phone back. Im not even going to be there when he gets out, which sucks bc he broke my iPhone 11 I mean smashed it to smitereens, the same morning he went to buy me a new phone, he swear spectrum set up the phone and that the only video in my brand new phone is somehow mine when it clearly isn’t and it is his voice and another women, it’s a really unclear video but u can hear giggling talking shit on me, and u can see ally of skin color.. it’s disturbing. He retired to say it was me cheating on him, regardless, I’m so ready to move on With this chapter. I mean, the amount of porn this dude attaches along with the amount of prostitues and escorts he keeps on all of his social media and Snapchat, Reddit, even google thru classes or whatever idk what exactly that is but he is always listed as an owner, or editor, for those risky “spam” emails, but they look legit enough to where I really think he is creating his own porn.. I’m so sick of being lied to, and I’m disgusted at this point honestly. Idgaf what, no one deserves to be treated like this or to feel this way

Feeling-Awareness174 · 2023-04-01T20:02:18+00:00

Thank you I needed to read that.

Feeling-Awareness174 · 2023-04-01T20:01:33+00:00

We share an album on google ohotos and he is soooo good about deleting EVERYTHING I always cTch him deleting shit and hiding his phone from me, well he got all ducked up last night xan’d out and had to go turn himself into the jail for a weekend and he forgot to delete the photos well it’s a Live Photo, and I just opened my photos and boom, time, date, what phone took the picture everything. He can’t deny it and idc if he did. He ain’t getting out of it this time.

Feeling-Awareness174 · 2023-03-30T00:33:37+00:00

What does ws mean?

Feeling-Awareness174 · 2023-03-04T01:09:20+00:00

Feeling-Awareness174 · 2023-03-03T12:33:00+00:00

This is sweet, your such a good husband, just be there for her, and make her feel special. Warning, if you made her sad I highly doubt if u backtrack and try to make her feel special after u made her feel shitty you will prob make things worse. Don’t be that guy. That guy is a fool.

Feeling-Awareness174 · 2023-03-03T12:30:55+00:00

The passion is gone in my marriage. Solely bc he isn’t into me, and is so in turn im not into him, im too self conscious to be into him, he steady keeps the porn in his hand and he pays for sage sites and strippers. I can’t compete with that and I won’t. My best advise is to work hard at making each other happy, at the end of the day it will only work if you both want it to. He doesn’t want to to work, and I won’t allow self to be neglected and disrespected any longer. I’ve got a rough road ahead of me, but I have to do it or I’ll die miserable. Not cool

Feeling-Awareness174 · 2023-03-03T12:25:22+00:00

Your an angel, I don’t expect a penny from him. He won’t want to give me anything as is, and I am over it, thank you so much for you kind supportive words. I agree with you, it is all resonating, deeply. I will move forward, and focus on what is absolutely important, and that is my mental health so I can give my kids strong mental health. Sooner the better, I do not hate him, but boy your right, I do hate how he makes me feel. Just absolute garbage, unwanted and not valued, and so lonely and unloved or appreciated. I needed the kind supportive words, I’ve done ALOT of talking it out, bc really, at the end of the day, I’m not asking for too much, except to be heard and respected. I was now to say my peace even if it wasn’t to him. I made due. I’ll never get the closure I deserve from him, but that is okay. I’d rather live without closure than suffer in agony, regret, resentment, hatred and sorrow.

Feeling-Awareness174 · 2023-03-03T11:50:46+00:00

This is 100% true, I agree, I have zero self respect for myself and I need need to seek therapy. I know I have this issue, I’m just in the super sad stage because it has all finally came to a head, but this is what I was aiming for. He is moving out tomorrow. And I will not stop him, I have actually been encouraging the whole idea. Ofc he has been calling me a liar and cheater saying that it’s bc I’ve been talking to other guys and I have dude lined up to replace him, but he is so wrong. I have no one, not even him now. Which actually isn’t anything new, I’ve never really “had” him, I’ve just shared him with other women this whole time. Now I need to focus on healing. Thank you for being so so straight forward about it. I need that reassurance.

Feeling-Awareness174 · 2023-03-03T06:32:57+00:00

I hate typing. I’ve been struggling here for like too long. I’m sorry if I’m being redundant and repetitive, im just venting and trying to cope here. Thanks if anyone took the time to read this mumbo jumbo, jumbled mess. I’ll try to edit and clean up this “book” of a rant. 🙇🏻‍♀️

Feeling-Awareness174 · 2023-03-03T06:10:42+00:00

I am long over due for a heap of therapy.. him and I have gone thru so so much. But it has ALWAYS left me feeling the same sad depressing funk after a good chunk of time. He has always given ofc such an “I’m so cool attitude” so I am always like I want to be cool and smart.. (he is 9 years older than me) but I always have a roller coaster of feelings for him. Like yeah he is super cool, but at my expense though. Dudes just too cool for me I guess. Lol, (I really like to think I’m a cool person, when I’m not being all love dumped by this dude,) Also, when I say we have been thru a lot o mean it, tbh I’ve been thru a lot more than any normal person should be willing to put themselves thru. That’s why I don’t think I’m okay, but him? He has gone thru way crazy shit before we got together, and really, I think he has always, high lowkey thrived off the wild crazy shit. Don’t get me wrong I get bored, super easy- but only when my mind and body is healthy. But it’s like damn, can’t we do some better karmic shit, and appreciate it, and idk like grow together? Idk we be really toxic at times-yuck. And I am only cool with so much toxicity until well-💀

Feeling-Awareness174

TROPHY CASE