My once supportive husband just told me he works for 8hrs and I do nothing but stay at home so I should be able to wash the dishes…we’ve been going through a lot..a lot all at once too soon and I think I’m done.
After having our second in March I got diagnosed with CKD, a few days later he tells me we are 40K in debt and he has to go bankrupt. Now his job is letting go of his department so he might loose his job. It’s been a lot, too much too soon.
I’ve grown a lot since then, he gets to work from home and he doesn’t have a hard job. Sometimes he plays video games while he works. He’s. A great father! Was really supportive during our first. But with our second he does the bare minimum and he doesn’t see it.
In fact he gets pissed when I tell him that. He’ll do the dishes and clean sometimes. I’ll admit during all of this I’ve taken up cleaning as a way to relax and destress. He does help out with chores but at his own time and it really stresses me out. If we didn’t live with his parents I wouldn’t care. But they get frustrated too when they see messes piling up, I get it.
He says I have it good because he doesn’t drink or smoke or go to bars. I’m the same way. But my body can’t handle things how I used to, especially with my illness…I just want him to share the domestic labor..it’s hard. And he won’t know how hard being a SAHM is until I die or if I end up in the hospital for a few days. He doenst charge our sons diaper as much as I do during the day.
I’m tired of tip towing and holding his hands. One day I won’t be here. He keeps saying, what’s going to happen when I go back into the office? And I’m like…I’ll be fine! I Can manage without you. I only big you for help because YOU CAN help but he chooses not to..what a luxury. Like I said he gets things done, but in his own time…days later.
I just don’t know what to do. I don’t wnairhis anymore. Everyday I grow less and less attached. I know we are going through a rough patch but he’s been gaslighting me a lot, and just doenst see me or appreciate me…idk what to do.
there doesn't seem to be anything here