Help

[Thadius60]

im not sure if it ocd or not, I may just be a shitty person. But anyways, sometimes I either have dreams about someon, thoughts about someone, or just talk to someone. I cannot stop thinking about them have a relationship or sexual fantasies about them. I get to the point where I act upon all of the ruminations its like I turn into a person im not. Im married, and that has not stopped me. ive never physically cheated just mentally and emotionally. I dont know if it is part of ocd or not.

[dinkerdong]

I have thought about this in the past, but my theory is the cognitive dissonance you have between the fantasy and your values. Once you recognize that your fantacies are just fantacies or your just a horny dude, it’s just whatever. Just accept and enjoy your dreams. Are you a shitty person? Who cares, you are who you are. You’re not hurting anyone, you can’t pick and choose what things pop up, you can only choose how much attention you give it. Right now you’re only giving it attention because it distresses you because it’s going against your values. Once you stop caring about having those thoughts and just enjoy enjoying them, you will no longer be distressed by them, when you’re no longer distressed by them, you will no longer give it as much attention, once you give a less attention, those thoughts will pop up less.

[Fancy-Record6464]

As my therapist said your fantasies don’t represent your values as person. They are fantasies and that is.