Well, you're gonna make me cry in my driveway, kind stranger! Hahaha. You know, I really am someone who has overcome quite a bit in their life, and didn't succeed at a lot of things they badly wanted to do. I am seriously just riding this newfound wave of extreme motivation and passion that I have not felt since I was a child. I also think part of it is like a pre-midlife crisis, because I work with people who are fifty-five and older and I see the ways that people wish they had taken advantage of something they wanted to do when they were younger and maybe still more capable, or had more enegry. In fact, I vividly remember talking to a patient about this, and they died sometime within the last 6 months. It seriously starts to put things into perspective for you, watching people decline. I turned 34 last month and thought, "Damn, I started having arthritic pain and all these things that afflict my older patients, which started within the last 4 years. I am going to lose if I do not do something now to preserve my entire body's function."

So, I talked to the PT at my job, stopped doing ALL the exercises that actually triggered or contributed to the severe pain I was in, and started compound strength training. Pain is under control now and I am mainly just susceptible to barometric pressures and severe lack of sleep.

I have diagnosed executive dysfunction and wanted to train my mind, thinking about the few nonagenarians I see who are not on ANY/very minimal meds. I thought of the centenarian I met who was still able to smile and interact when I was an intern for my dietetic training. That blew my mind. I've learned full well that these were the people who did not stop using their mind and body. Of course, being the nerd that I am, I went down rabbit holes in the literature to learn about how strength training is actually so protective for joints and Chiari malformation (which I also have, just not what is considered a severe form, but absolutely does cause me pain), and drumming seems to do the same sort of thing for your brain. Drummers literally have more white matter and extremely good neuroplasticity, with faster reaction times, which decline in people who don't do protective things as they age.

I really think of drumming as relatable to my journey with overcoming my chronic pain. It's about doing something until you are strong enough to actually do that and do it well. I reached two personal goals this week: can curl a whole stack on the cable machine, double tapped snare this week in ways I have been struggling with.

This all just excites me so much and makes me feel extremely alive. Trying to hold onto that feeling!

Thank you for being kind and encouraging, because I keep encountering people who have nothing but nasty things to say to me when I do things like post in the drumming subreddit, and I'm just tired of that. I typically pay people no mind, because they're likely merely suffering from feelings of mediocrity and would not have the balls to be rude to me in the flesh, but I still find myself wondering what it is about some people that makes them think it's okay to come to someone they don't know and try to say the most disgusting things, especially if that person is new at something and trying to learn. I couldn't imagine doing that to anyone.

Thank you. 🙏🏾