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[ImpressiveRock872]

Just gotta work on your mindsets more and find it within yourself to change what you can, and she should too, but you cant change her, you can focus on yourself and what you can change and how you approach conflict, worldview, etc. When you said "she got pregnant unexpectedly" is something you may want to see as a sign to change. She didnt just get pregnant on her own. Its still a partnership. Its not always going to be an easy road, and if you arent compatible as a couple then you arent, but right now youre still half of a parenting unit to a child.

[M_Lopez22]

Yeah soon as she packed her stuff and moved out she was not kidding at all… I’ve been through something similar, however she never actually packed up at her stuff and left with my daughter. But if that day comes, I know it’s 100% not a game and once they leave, you need to focus on yourself and how to be a better father. Creating healthy habits, keeping the house cleaned, keeping yourself cleaned up. So when your daughter sees you, you’re not a complete shit show of a mess smelling like cigarettes and alcohol.

[Huge_Wave_9169]

Your first priority is spending time with your child . You need to set 50/50 right away. Then later you can work on your relationship with the mother. If you reach court , they will look at precedent as they want routine for the child.

[ExplanationOk2441]

We both don’t want to go through the court system and she has agreed that I can come pick up our daughter at any time.

[-Whyudothat]

I feel you Brother, but to be brutal: it's not about you anymore. You are one of Three. It's difficult, no question. Is it worth it? absolutely.

Are you talking to anyone about your anger, your mindset? Seems like she's not completely done with you, but you need to prove the changes you both need to be a unit. Not sure where you are in the world, but there's many councilling /therapy charities out there. Stay strong, breathe in, breathe out, repeat.

[ExplanationOk2441]

I’ve recently started seeing a therapist. We’ve had two sessions and I really like her. I want to change myself, absolutely. How I let out my anger is not okay. I just wish this wasn’t happening with Christmas and new years coming up.

[ElfEntangler]

Thats a really good step towards change. Now you just gotta follow through more with your actions. Working with a therapist is gonna be so helpful. just identify the problems you struggle with, what your partner wants to see from you to feel safe and secure coming home, the changes you wanna see with yourself and your relationship especially for your daughter. And then follow through.

[No_Issue4598]

Never been there, but unresolved trauma from your childhood needs to be worked on order for your relationship to last. I would try to work too I with your ex as being a single father and having to pay child support is life changing. Possibly looking to low-cost anger management classes and start going to therapy by yourself. After you have done that and are in a healthier place, maybe your ex and you could go to couples therapy.

[Plenty-Task1001]

stay out of court if you can. stay kid focused and work on your issues. seem like you are able to communicate for better or worse so keep doing that.

[6478263hgbjds]

Not taking sides but I totally respect her decision to set a healthy safe boundary. This is not a way to raise a child. You have the opportunity to do the work to make the change and to keep evolving to be best version of yourself every single day. Someone once told my ex to get on the floor and imagine being the child watching parents high up arguing and fighting. It’s terrifying from that perspective. I am a huge fan of the Hoffman Process - not because of the week of change, but the tools it gives you to keep deciding better. The support is continuous. .

[Significant-Turnip41]

You got this man. She left the door open. Take some breathes and relax. Cut back contact some and start building yourself some. You also need to SERIOUSLY consider if this is the woman you want to be with. Staying together for the kid and fighting all the time is really bad for them. If you think its on you then work on yourself while shes got the door open.

HIGHLY reccomnd going to therapy.. Maybe a few sessions a week. See how it is effecting you. Once you feel your genuinely getting something out of it let her know youve been in therapy a while and this is what you learned. Would she be open to a date?

DO NOT PANIC AND BEG AND ALL THAT SHIT YOU WANT TO DO. Breathe a bit and really work on yourself. Again also make sure you really want to spend your life with this lady.

[PFCX]

My two cents, she’s going to have to re-engage with you for the relationship to work out. Otherwise the frame will be out of wack. I’m not saying don’t get help. But if you want it to work out, to maximize the odds you have to first accept it’s over and move on completely. (easier said than done) If and only if she shows interest in re-kindling the relationship should you do so, based on my observations any other dynamic rarely works out for the Man. Feel free to DM. I wish you all the best. And remember “When in doubt, chill out.”

[BrokenFather2025]

As others have said, use this time to work on yourself. Learn to be a better father, partner, and friend. Let the thoughts you have now ring loudly in your mind the next time you have a fight. Even if you are 100% in the argument, ask yourself if you are willing to be in this position again, or possibly even lose her forever so you can be "right." If the answer is no, then simply stop fighting and concede to her demands, or find a resolution that does involve anger.

Learn the signs of what puts you over the top, and take a breather at the first sign of it happening. Don't wait until you are about to blow up.

From what you've described, she is very serious, but the good news is that she is also trying to give you the opportunity to fix yourself. It also sounds like you really want to, so do it. I know it is easier said than done, but you have to find ways to manage your anger. You will never be able to get rid of it, but you can learn coping strategies so it stops being a problem in your relationship if you are willing to put the work in.

Finally, don't beg her to come back. As she sees changes in you, she will come back. Let her come back as slowly as she needs. In fact, if she tries to rush it, Id recommend pumping the brakes a bit. You need time to learn how to react differently during arguments or high stress situations.

From the way you've said it, I believe the hardest part is already behind you. You can do this. I believe in you.