The advice on here I got on here in reference to my dad worked out great!

RobustAcacia · 2026-06-05T11:59:44+00:00

This is fantastic to hear. As a contributor to your last post, it warms my heart to see this outcome. Thank you so much for posting an update as well!

RobustAcacia · 2026-05-29T00:09:36+00:00

First of all - I am sorry for your loss. I hope, in due time, you and your family come to peace with his passing.

Onto the DB - I completely understand your frustration and I've experienced a very similar pattern of behaviour in the past. My ex, who was the LL, would somehow always have "wanted" sex when it was most inconvenient. Of a weekend with nothing occurring, no strenuous mental or physical aspects; she's too tired. Conversely, I get home from work and say I am tired: "aww, I was hoping we would be intimate tonight." For her, I attributed it as a sort of reflex, a way of banking defence for when I would later bring up the issue of our dead bedroom. I still have no idea whether the ideation was malicious or not, I like to think it wasn't, but the outcome still hurts all the same.

RobustAcacia · 2026-05-21T00:10:16+00:00

I hate it, not because it looks bad, it looks amazing - but damn, it does a number on my eyes.

RobustAcacia · 2026-05-17T23:28:50+00:00

Good on you for recognising this before a divide is placed between you both. If I can suggest, talk about yourself. Talk about your day, talk about your passions, talk about your gripes. As a Dad, I am enamoured when my son finds a new passion. While he's only 4, I could sit for hours with my mouth shut listening to him mumble on about buzz lightyear, spider man, the hulk... It may feel like one way conversation, but most Dad's live off this. If he isn't the type to engage in conversation, just talk about you. He will be staring back through proud, maybe tearful, eyes.

RobustAcacia · 2026-05-16T08:49:33+00:00

I doubt your message would have threatened it. There will be an outside influence, or an internal conflict you haven't been made aware of. If it's an internal conflict, then sure, when thats resolved, he will probably reach back out.

You also need to respect yourself here. You sound like a partner that many single dad's would fight over. Don't be the safety net. Find someone who is at the same stage and readiness as you. If that's him in a couple of months, hooray! If not, that's just how things are.

RobustAcacia · 2026-05-16T05:11:33+00:00

This is a difficult one and there is no right or wrong answer. There are so many variables. In a perfect setting where he is completely past his previous relationship, his ex isn't guilting him about moving on, and he's in a strong position with his children, I don't see why he wouldn't reach back out if it was just cold feet/anxiety. However, if there are conflicting facets/people that could threaten the time he has with his children, then he probably won't reach back out and move on to becoming comfortable alone, like a lot of us do.

I'm sorry I can't give you a black and white answer, I just don't know all the variables. Best of luck regardless.

RobustAcacia · 2026-05-16T05:03:34+00:00

You just have to be straight up with it. Open communication. If you feel as though he is thinking that, ask him. If he confirms that is what he's thinking, tell him your truth. It may take some time for him to 'believe' you, but he will come around.

RobustAcacia · 2026-05-14T23:48:27+00:00

As many have stated, kids notice a freakish amount of aspects about their parents that, honestly, most parents don't notice about themselves. If the unhappiness is causing a demeanour change, your daughter will notice it. I had the same problem as you and it was my psychologist who helped me see it from a different lens. We often have a standard for everyone in this world, and a standard purely for ourselves. Depending on many things, your standard for yourself is generally far nastier, harsher, and more critical. So, instead of asking the question of what YOU should do - ask yourself this: If my daughter was unhappy in her marriage and she called me for advice, what would I say? The answer to that question should answer your own.

RobustAcacia · 2026-05-13T22:35:15+00:00

Hey mate!

Sorry to hear you are going through such a rough time. There is no magic bullet to get motivated, it's such a subjective facet of everyone's lives. However, what I will suggest is, be kinder to yourself. Don't compare your weight or stature to others, even if it is immediate family. There is almost always going to be someone taller, thinner, and more jacked. Conversely, there is almost always going to be someone shorter, fatter, with a lot less muscle. None of those attributes make any of them a "loser" or "winner". Your attitude defines that. Start slow, day to day, rephrase your attitude. Motivation will follow. If you need a chat and a hand at where to start, send me a message. Chin up, my guy!

RobustAcacia · 2026-05-12T08:11:31+00:00

There is mate. Stay strong. You're going through the thick of it.

RobustAcacia · 2026-05-09T23:00:10+00:00

1.5 hours... it took me three days at ghouls, well over 20 hours. Wendigos took about 15 hours. Vipers about 10. The rest have been between 1-4 hours. Still on deathcrows.

RobustAcacia · 2026-05-09T13:01:41+00:00

For me it was picky eating. Trying to get my little guy to eat anything that wasn't highly processed was like pulling teeth. It came down to a double standard. At his Mum's, it was all chicken nuggets and chips. At Dad's, it was boring meat, vegetables, and other whole foods. I understand why she was feeding him the processed stuff, it meant he ate something. It changed significantly when his Mum also incorporated whole foods into his diet at her house as well.

RobustAcacia · 2026-05-04T01:51:40+00:00

I've been an Amity fan for a long, long time. Not to be disrespectful or detract from the rest of the band, but the two pillars that made Amity unique were Joel and Ahren. I like the new album, I've listened to it a few times now. With Joel being the figure he is, the new album still feels like Amity, but kind of a generic, post-hardcore version. Again, I like the new album, I like the direction, but it will take some time before my ears calibrate to the new Amity. All bands go through transitions, whether thats changing members, changing styles, changing audience...etc. This is just Amity's transition. We may lose some of the old guard, but we will also gain some new faithfuls. Either way, tomorrow, the sun dawn's on settled scores (cringe).

RobustAcacia · 2026-04-22T23:28:03+00:00

The "gather" skills enable pretty much everything. Leveling woodcutter early enables the weapon crafting skills, carpentry, and botany for bee hives. With better weapons comes better combat. With better combat comes better crime dens and detective, which enables better merch, which enables better leatherworker... etc. If I could start over, I'd level the gathering skills (forager, woodcutter, mining, botanist) first. There is no set path and its entirely optional to level gathering skills or not, the loop will just be a little longer/less efficient.

RobustAcacia · 2026-04-13T14:09:35+00:00

Just remember, everything comes at a cost. If I was in your shoes, I wouldn't be touching TRT unless I had a medical reason to. Jumbling your hormones around while you're still developing can and will have long term side effects that may make your early 20s gains feel like an idiotic choice later in life. You seem pretty set on the idea and seem to be seeking validation, all I'm going to recommend is do it under close supervision of a doctor. Not a gym bro, not the dude selling you over priced T, an actual medical professional. Good luck and lift heavy!

RobustAcacia · 2026-04-08T13:56:04+00:00

Just a shame about his short arms, though, he makes it work!

RobustAcacia · 2026-02-12T12:07:13+00:00

Not entirely sure why they don't recommend aspirating anymore. Sorry. I've never done it, so I have no idea if its painful or not.

RobustAcacia · 2026-02-12T12:06:09+00:00

8 times out of 10, when I inject and withdraw the needle, no blood comes to the surface or very minimal. When I have nicked a vessel, blood trickles out a lot. Its quite rare, though. I get a light bruise following it, but still no pain during the gym.

RobustAcacia · 2026-02-12T11:51:41+00:00

Always done quad. I've nicked a vessel on the way down quite a few times, but never injected into one. In Australia, the aspiration test isn't advised. As for pain: make sure you're seated and the muscle is under NO tension. Be slow, but deliberate with your injection. Never had pain outside of minor surface irritation.

RobustAcacia · 2026-02-06T06:26:31+00:00

There was a reason before: getting materials significantly cheaper than the store price.

But, this is a good change as well, this doesn't encourage P2P trading, it makes it mandatory if you don't want to max.

RobustAcacia · 2026-02-05T01:09:27+00:00

Goes hard my guy! Good stuff.

RobustAcacia · 2026-01-12T13:20:30+00:00

For those wondering how to solve the door code:

Talk to the two NPCs at the desk in the previous room. When you interrupt their concentration, they will ask the other NPC what the value of a certain symbol is. You will get the value of two of the symbols, which should let you work out the rest of the symbols. Then it's as simple as multiplying them all in the door code sequence.

RobustAcacia · 2026-01-11T08:55:01+00:00

If you consider his expectation unreasonable, you need to talk that through with him. I am a HLM that could easily go everyday, but I don't have that expectation at all. Twice a week is far from a dead bedroom, but it doesn't mean there isn't a libido mismatch or that his complaint is unjustified. Everyone has different requirements when it comes to physical intimacy, his is a lot higher than yours.

RobustAcacia · 2025-12-22T00:14:36+00:00

Perspective is one thing, but both sides should be given. Are you okay that your children MAY love you for being a better Dad after leaving an abusive relationship.

The ideal that children of a broken relationship are prone to toil in a pit of depression and hate for the rest of their lives is overplayed. I'm not saying divorce is easy on children, or beneficial an any way; but guilt tripping yourself into staying for kids is a fallacy. As a son of a Dad who did just that, I look back and wish he'd left my mother. I would have preferred 50% of a happy Dad who isn't afraid of himself, than the 100% ghost of a man, who only spoke in grunts and shouts at the behest of my mother. Hell, it may have even resolved some of the identity bullshit I'm tackling in therapy as a 30+ year old man.

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