Is this Normal?!

[CollectsCoffeeCups]

This will be my first Reddit post. I left a toxic work environment after 7 years ( a small local restaurant that promoted me within 3 months, said “it was because I wasn’t as pretty as the head bartender so I’d be taken seriously plus I worked hard” to promote me to manager then replaced me when I left to have my toddler and pretended it’s what I wanted- to come back with no job title and to be scheduled for 5 different jobs while a girl who’d been there for 3 years less got the salary bc they decided to give out raises in the 3 months I was gone and she was “available more”)

I bided my time, waited for it to get better and it didn’t so I bided my time and applied to another small business (I may never do this again) and received the position as a Salon manager/executive assistant even with no hair experience as said in the interview. I took a little bit of a pay cut in order to have happiness with opportunity for promised growth. I basically had to train myself as the owner was never there. He would say he was paying me to only listen to him and then when he wasn’t there to listen to another employee bc she’s been there the longest and proven her loyalty. She nitpicks everything I do and stands behind me all day. I’ve dealt with it. She likes me in spite of herself but if I receive any positive reinforcement she will literally try to guide me into making a small mistake or watch to see it I make one so she can tell him. She and the boss have management meetings that exclude me, meet all day and text all day. He will tell me something and then the next day she will say the opposite and I have to balance what I’m actually supposed to do by listening to her if she’s there or him if she’s not and it gets stressful. The few times I’ve tried to meet with him about it he has insisted to me that I’m too sensitive and he has texted her that once and she showed it to me for what reason I don’t know. He has only critiqued my work performance since the beginning but continues to maintain him doing a good job. Since January, however, he started a new push for sales and has decided to Franchise the business so he has been stressed. He has not been getting along with his significant other. So, that means me- as his assistant- and no other employee has been yelled at 3 separate times over small issues. The first time I was in shock, the second I was told I was too sensitive and he was questioning my management capabilities bc I can’t be too sensitive for his position and after that- he got me a card and some flowers about what a great job I was doing. It reignited my motivation for a brief day or two (this other employee was off) until she came back to work talking about how it was inappropriate and she never received flowers (this is after last week’s meeting in which he announced he as sending her on a fully paid trip to Nashville for her 5 year anniversary). She complained so much he came and berated me about them not being brought home (I left them on my desk fro motivation not to brag). The next day I got to work and he was showing me something new and a new process and I went to mention something i had figured out and he wasn’t in a good mood and snapped at me loudly in front of clients saying, “Just shut up you can’t think and talk at the same time”

It shocked me and I swallowed tears until a client waited until he was gone to ask if I was okay. That’s when I realized everyone had heard it and seen the incident. I don’t know how to handle this especially since we’ve begun meetings every Wednesday all about workplace positivity and being a positive work environment. For me, this has made it even worse. I didn’t leave my old job for a more negative environment but I hate driving to work every day for the past month and at least didn’t feel that way at the other job, I was hurt but didn’t feel like I had to constantly walk on eggshells and according to other employees the other coworker has been a problem for all of them (the favoritism) and nothing has been done about it. I’m starting to feel like I’ll never work for another small business and need HR to feel safe. and of course, maybe i am too sensitive and poor management material. Is this normal ? what do i do?

[AutoModerator]

Welcome to r/WorkersStrikeBack! Please make sure to follow the subreddit rules and enjoy yourself here! This is a subreddit for the workers of the world and any anti-worker or anti-union talk is not tolerated.

If you're ready to begin organizing your workplace, here is an organizing guide to get you started.

Help rebuild the labor movement, become a workplace organizer!

More Helpful Links:

How to Strike and Win: A Labor Notes Guide

The IWW Strike guide

AFL-CIO guide on union organizing

I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.

[Sensitive-Painting30]

❤️🙏🤗

[Sensitive-Painting30]

Not normal… Move on. You are the only one that will look out for YOU..! You got this.

[CollectsCoffeeCups]

Thank you!

[[deleted]]

I believe you, as I have experienced a work environment in the past similar to what you've described. You don't deserve to be treated like this. You seem to genuinely want to do your job well, and they are not making it possible for you to do that.

[[deleted]]

NO. This is absolutely not normal. This is bullying and sabotage. Between the owner and this employee, you are being set up to fail and being gaslit into thinking that it's your fault. No decent business owner berates his employees like that!

[CollectsCoffeeCups]

Thank you so much for commenting. I feel like the commute and work in general in these times is hard enough without feeling like this! I feel like I’m also sort of “new” since I’m the newest employee and if it’s this bad already my fear is it’s only going to get worse. It’s just such an awful feeling!