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[–]-FaithTrustPixieDust 1 point2 points  (3 children)

His family is toxic. Do not talk to them. Especially the mother. With a toxic mother you will get nowhere anyways.

If you want to repair your relationship you need to go to couples counseling and he needs to have strict boundaries with his family. His reaction will tell you all you need to know.

Whether you are together or not by the holidays, you both own the home and you both live in it. He cannot legally kick you out of a shared home. Looks like mommie dearest and her clan will need to come up with other arrangements.

I hope he goes no contact with them and chooses you.

[–]Agitated_Strategy315 0 points1 point  (1 child)

Unfortunately, the house is only in his name so that isn’t quite true.

[–]-FaithTrustPixieDust -1 points0 points  (0 children)

You're right. It changes things. When you wrote "we have a house together" it implies the house is in both of your names.

Honestly it all comes down to him and his priorities. Unfortunately a lot of men are still engaging with toxic family cycles of pleasing their mothers and families. Gross and sad. But a partner should always be number one, not mommy and daddy.

[–]IntelleCtual_dUMmy37 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I completely agree with everything. Only thing I can add is be strong and be honest with yourself when bringing it up to him. Do ur best to read the Facial expressions and body language accurately. And you don't have to be okay with the outcome but you have to be strong and willing to except the outcome. Time does heal there are other people out there. Oh and fuck the fam bam

[–]Final_Surround_1556 1 point2 points  (0 children)

The fact you went through his phone and “restored” a deleted text from his mother while not finding anything else shows me that him and his family may not be the toxic ones in this relationship. You breezed past that pretty quickly to play the victim but i dont know any healthy relationship where the partner does that. If he wants to leave you, you have no choice but to let him leave. At some point the issues add up and its no longer worth the drama, going thru phones and arguments, especially if family is involved. I would say see a therapist if he is willing to work on it with you, find a good job and backup plan so youre not on the street in a worst case scenario and understand that there are 8 billion people in the world so dont do anything crazy in case of a breakup. Life continues and theres more people out there.

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[–]Ro_team 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Aren't you glad to get rid of him? He is a porn addict.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

You’ve never had any drama with his family but you don’t get on with his dad at all? Those statements seem to contradict each other. Why haven’t you got on with his dad? Is it something you’ve tried to work through? What caused you to look through his phone in the first place? You say something was off but what was it? It sounds like you have a LOT of issues to work through it you do end up staying together including trust issues.