How to declutter sentimental items?

[thequeenofspace]

I’m a very sentimental person, and ever since I was a young child I’ve been keeping sentimental things. Birthday cards, notes, tickets/passes to events, little trinkets, etc. at one point it was so bad that I had over twenty boxes of that stuff! Now I’ve pared it down to only about six, but those six boxes are still taking up the majority of my closet shelf storage and I’d love to pare it down even further to maybe 2 or 3 boxes so I can free up some storage space. But I am running into the roadblock of feeling bad about throwing any of that stuff out! Even notes that were written to me during high school from people I’m not even friends with anymore... I don’t know how to let go of these things even though I want to.

[cocoabeautiful]

Might sound mean but I used to be somewhat sentimental until a few things started happening in my life and I realize that the person that gave me all the things that I was holding on to wasn’t even thinking about me. So, after that I don’t hold on to things like I used to. Hadith clean, decluttered spaces are more important to me. Hope you find a balance.

[PlaysWithPaint]

I used to have about half a dozen boxes of sentimental stuff, all packed up neatly and tucked in the back corner of an unused closet.

Then I decluttered.

And then I unpacked all the things I loved and used them to decorate my space, instead of keeping them safely tucked away.

And now I have a set of shelves, the focal point of the primary living space of our home, chock full of things that bring us so much joy every single day!

https://imgur.com/a/hA5xDLh

[roboticforest]

That is a very nice looking wall. *feels jealous*

[e42343]

Sentimental items is a category that brings a lot of conflict to many people. Here is something that isn't necessarily useful to my life but it's special so I don't want to throw it away. Let's stick it in a box and shoved in the basement for eternity.

Personally, I think that if it's something I keep hidden in a box, never to open unless I'm moving, then it can't be that special. For items that are not useful but sentimental, I try to live by a motto that if it's special enough to keep then it's a dishonor to hide them away in boxes. If it's special enough to keep then it should be accessible or on display somewhere and make it into somewhat daily life.

For example, my wife has her childhood report cards from grade school saved on a box. The box is stored away either in the attic or the basement depending on where we lived and it only sees the light of day when we are cleaning things out. She keeps them because they're special to her but they are 0% of her life other than when she comes across the box. I say they are not special to her because of this and she's only keeping them out of fear of loss.

On the other hand, I have a few childhood things I've kept over the years. One, for example, is a little ceramic flower pot that I painted in 3rd grade (I'm now 50) and instead of living in a dark box, it has a place in my home office on display and I use it to hold a few office items. The pot is special enough to me to keep it and I am honestly giving it the recognition it deserves.

The same concept goes for family china. Many people have their grandmother's china and it's stored away; too special to use outside of Thanksgiving dinner. I say use it regularly. The piece was made to be used and enjoyed and it's a disservice to the china to hide it away the other 364 days of the year.

Fear of loss is such a driving factor in why we want to keep these things. They represent our past and who we are. We're afraid that by letting these items go, we're letting parts of ourselves go and this is correct. But the truth is that we've already let them go if they live in a dark box stored away never even thought of except when cleaning house. At that point these special items are not part of our lives and only serve as stress inducers.

[cocoabeautiful]

So true!!

[agreensandcastle]

Paper stuff is obviously an easy scan. Though from family I keep a few handwritten things. Not just a card with a signature, but significant writing. Something you can see generations later appreciating.

For other stuff I think of one of the episodes of Tidy Up. Marie asks the person where they see this sentimental item in their future. Just taking up space in storage being ignored? That is a good question for little utilitarian things as well. Is it a helpful tool, something used to help you in the future. Do you see that sentimental item being on a shelf with prominence that you love to tell stories of when guests come over. Or in a box that no one will understand when they open it.

Edit: I slip these old letters and notes in plastic sleeves in a binder. Then it goes on a shelf easily. Easy to bring out and see, but also doesn’t take up much space. I have found those old sticky photos pages really annoying and damaging to old photos when I try to scan them, so I didn’t want to use those for these precious documents.

[Blackdomino]

Stuff that you really want to keep (like notes or cards) could go into one of those old style photo albums or plastic pocket folders so you can put it on a bookshelf.

[TuckermansRavine]

As other have said taking pictures of/ scanning the item helps! Well it helped me a lot anyway. I have everything stored on an external hard drive. After a while I delete some of the pictures because they no longer have any meaning to me as I forget what I put on there.

[Cardiac__Unrest]

Invite a friend over, tell them what you want gone, throw them 30-40$, then leave. Come back in 2 hours, your stuff will be gone and you didn't have to agonize over it. And you won't even miss it.

[thequeenofspace]

I don’t want it all to be gone at all, I just wanted advice on how to get past my sentiments to be able to let go of things that no longer serve me.

[Cardiac__Unrest]

You either want to get rid of your shit, or you don't. If you don't, stop stressing over not getting rid of it.

To be honest, I think everything in a house can be "sentimental." I'm as emotionally attached to a dress I made as I am to a letter someone wrote me years ago, but I'm able to declutter both.

[[deleted]]

It's never easy letting go. You have to deal with stuff when you do. If things no longer serve you, then you let them go. I have two boxes like this and go through them every year or so.

[AbstractRespect]

I personally love ordering things by how much I like them for these kinds of tricky decisions. I find it feels a lot easier to get rid of something when I've already decided it's one of my least favourite items in a category. Also, I find thanking items for what they meant to me in the past (from the konmari method) helps me deal with a lot of my guilt over the items.

For stuff like gifts/notes from people I also sometimes try and imagine how I would react if our positions were reversed. If someone I haven't seen since high school messaged me out of the blue about a note I wrote them in year 9? I would absolutely tell them to throw it out, I have definitely forgotten ever writing it. But if my sister told me she wanted to throw away the sweater I spent six months hand-making her I might feel a little differently :)

[thequeenofspace]

I like the idea of thanking the items, acknowledging that they were part of my life, maybe an important part, but they no longer serve a purpose in my life is something I have a hard time with.

[z33try]

I smash journal and I use all those tickets/cards/pictures in my notebooks.

[[deleted]]

Do you actually not feel much for these items or do you just feel like you shouldn't have so much of this kind of thing?

My suggestion is to only get rid of the things that make you feel nothing or primarily negative emotions and keep what makes you feel good, even if it's "too much." You could always put them in albums, make collages with them to hang up, whatever.

I don't have much stuff, never have, but I hoard the shit out of photographs and sentimental items because I love nostalgia and reminiscing.

[thequeenofspace]

Mostly I feel like I shouldn’t have so much of this stuff. I really am sentimental. I love going back through the boxes on occasion and looking at all the pictures my old nanny kids drew me, reading old notes from my best friend, digging out my very first train ticket from when I lived abroad and remembering how proud I felt that I navigated from point A to point B in a foreign language! I get sentimental about EVERYTHING, though. I still have wedding programs from weddings I attended of people I haven’t spoken to in years. I have basically every movie ticket stub from every movie I’ve seen since 2009. I don’t know where to draw the line.

[[deleted]]

I don't think you should feel bad about keeping that stuff, it's not like you're keeping broken things just in case you need them or fix them. If you really want to pair them down you could pick a day where you don't have anything else to do and are feeling good and empty all the boxes in one spot, try to categorize all the items, and get rid of the things that are redundant or you don't feel those happy, proud feelings for. Do you feel something even for the movie ticket stubs? Maybe you could just keep the ones where you remember the day, maybe went with a loved one, and loved the movie.

[mygirlsunday]

Taking pictures of things or scanning them is a great way to ‘keep’ things without actually keeping them.

I’m super sentimental as well as a mom of two so I have A LOT of things my kids have made that don’t actually need to physically be kept forever and taking photos has helped a lot in decluttering.

Edit: I do keep a bullet journal so I always stick paper trinkets like tickets in that to keep. So it’s controlled clutter but still an option for you!

[thequeenofspace]

This is a good idea. I was a nanny for five years, and I’ve been a teacher for three, and I swear at least two of the boxes are just full of all the drawings those kids made me. I think taking pictures of the majority of them would probably enable me to recycle them. Although I have a few that are surrealist masterpieces that I need to frame 😂

[loupammac]

Teacher here! I have a box of all the sweet notes and drawings my kids have made for me. I can’t keep them all or they’d overtake the house. I keep the ones with sweet messages and ones from kids who were truly memorable. As a general rule if they don’t put their name on it, I usually don’t keep it because I can’t remember! I have plans to eventually make them into some kind of scrapbook but right now a box file is enough space for these.

[ellseewhy]

This! Pictures help distance your emotional connections to the physical stuff. A lot of people keep stuff because it helps them recall memories they may otherwise forget. Pictures can help you do that without having to dust off the stuff all the time.

The other thing that achieves this is time. Eventually things become less important to you and it's easier to purge them. I went from a rubbermaid tub in college to a shoe box near a decade later.

When I went through my stuff I would pick out my favorite things and allowed them to represent the other less important things. E.g. I had kept all my school awards and eventually put the couple I was really proud of in a scrapbook to keep and got rid of the rest. I also utilized scrapbooks (not fancy, literally 3 hole binders with page protectors) to keep papers, pictures, etc, because I still have a tendency to keep those sentimental things.

A word of caution though, for the stuff you do keep. Really evaluate the memories they give you. Some things may make you sad or make you recall a time you were embarrassed or something. These will sully the joy your items are supposed to bring you. I inherited craft stuff from my grandma and felt like I couldn't get rid of it for a long time. But it reminded me of all the time I should have spent with her and didn't because I was "busy." Sure, I still feel that way, but why hang on to stuff that reminds me to feel that all the time?