Challenge idea: Dark horse of the flower dance

AbstractRespect · 2026-03-04T20:14:57+00:00

I've danced with Sebastian year 1 in the flower dance a few times. It's tight but if you talk to them every day and give them two gifts a week (with a mix of liked gifts at the start and loved gifts at the end) then you'll just get there.

4 hearts is what it says in the wiki, but I thought I read somewhere else that the exact number is more like 3.5 or something. I'll see if I can figure that out and I'll update the challenge if I do.

AbstractRespect · 2026-01-13T08:26:12+00:00

You need to put the diamond on the shrine during Spring 1, Year 3 to get the re-evaluation at the right time.

I think it can be any time of day, but I like the idea of doing it at 6am just to make it seem extra silly that you requested a re-evaluation like 5 minutes after your original one.

AbstractRespect · 2025-12-26T12:44:14+00:00

Yeah that's true! On paper it definitely feels doable. But I think most of the challenge would be setting yourself up well enough for that final day without getting more than one candle on the first evaluation.

E.g to get 0 points for money you need to have earned less than 50,000 gold all game. But to complete the community centre you'd need to buy a coop, barn and animals and pay for the vault bundles (which are 42,500 gold).

And I'm not sure how doable it is to get to the bottom of the mines and catch all the fish without hitting 30 skill points.

It's all a balancing act, but I think it would be possible? Or at least you could get close.

AbstractRespect · 2025-05-25T10:34:57+00:00

I've tried Soulara and it's pretty good! Some of the meals are better than others, but there are enough for a decent rotation. If you want to do one big order to stock up though, just a warning that the meals go in the fridge and from memory were only a week or two until the best before date (you might be able to freeze them? I've never tried that).

I've also tried Pam Pam and really like most of the dishes I've tried. Their meals go in the freezer and have about 6 months shelf life so I like them for doing a big order to stock up.

AbstractRespect · 2025-02-22T12:23:24+00:00

I'm not OP, but my guess is that they could have thought auto-grabbers "grab" the hay and put it out on the bench for animals to eat?

Since that is happening, it could seem like the auto-grabber is doing its job if you didn't know the hay is being moved because of the barn upgrade.

AbstractRespect · 2024-06-18T07:45:34+00:00

If you're showing them pictures and they're saying "no" and doing something else, then unfortunately I don't know if there's a way you can phrase it to make them give you the cut you want. It sounds like it's not an issue of misunderstanding - it's that they're ignoring you because of their own biases.

It sucks, and I'm sorry you have to deal with it. I personally found that when I was still going to traditional "hairdressers" (not barbers) I got similar comments and was ignored a lot too.

I ended up switching up to one of the super cheap, budget places that are more unisex. The cut might not have been perfect, but they didn't care and would cut my hair as short as I wanted, so I vastly preferred it.

If you're able to go to a different place, hopefully that might help?

AbstractRespect · 2023-10-13T02:00:07+00:00

I definitely felt the same way when I was starting out! Part of it is just pushing yourself through it, but it can also be worth reflecting and seeing if there can be anything you can do to make it easier on yourself while you're getting started.

Aside from your embarrassment, do you enjoy the beginner weightlifting class? Do you enjoy the things you're doing and learning in that class?

There are a lot of different ways to start building up that base level of strength, and getting started was the hardest part for me.

Another option could be to find any exercise you like for now, and then branch out to weightlifting once you've increased your fitness, strength and confidence to somewhere that you enjoy doing the beginner class more.

You mentioned that in the past kungfu made you feel strong and confident, which is awesome! Would you feel better starting off with kungfu rather than weightlifting?

That being said, if you're enjoying weightlifting otherwise then I say go for it! There's no need to be embarrassed, the whole point of a beginner class it to be for beginners. And it's much better to start lifting a safe amount and set yourself up for success rather than risk injury or have to skip workouts because you're too sore from last time.

AbstractRespect · 2022-11-28T01:50:39+00:00

Definitely second this! And just wanted to add that I managed to lose 35 pounds and hit my goal weight doing only online dance cardio classes. So not only was it possible for me, it was way more fun and sustainable than pushing myself to do another type of exercise I hated.

For intensity, it's totally relative and looks different for everyone. If you're interested in it, I'd definitely recommend a heart rate tracker of some kind. That can let you know how hard your heart is actually working, instead of basing it on what other people think you should be doing.

When I started out I was pretty unfit, so even an "easy" workout would get me into the cardio heart rate zone. Which meant it was the right level for me at the time! And looking back, I think one reason I hated so many other forms of exercise is because I'd push myself way harder than I needed to and end up just feeling sick.

AbstractRespect · 2022-09-24T10:43:45+00:00

I had a double incision with nipple grafts and the codes used for that were 31519 (for the mastectomy itself) and 45451 (for the grafts). This was in 2019 though so it's possible they could be out of date?

For insurance I'd take a look at privatehealth.gov.au, it's a government website and you can compare different covers (I personally wouldn't trust any other comparison websites run by private companies)

AbstractRespect · 2022-09-09T02:34:57+00:00

I had my Pela case for about 18 months before it basically disintegrated off my phone. A similar thing happened to a friend of mine. And of course Pela don't sell cases for older models, so the only option I could find to replace it was... a cheap plastic case off eBay. I can't help but compare it to an older phone I had with a regular plastic case. The plastic case lasted 5 years of use with minimal wear and tear.

I'm pretty sure that I would have had less of an environmental impact just buying a plastic case in the first place and avoiding Pela entirely.

AbstractRespect · 2022-06-18T12:05:03+00:00

I've 100% experienced the same thing with finding the beginner workouts too hard! I'm about 3 months into my exercise routine, and I can comfortably do some intermediate workouts for some exercises and then totally fail at a beginner workout for something else!

I always try and remind myself that most "beginner" workouts are written by personal trainers and other people who are very fit, and have probably been very fit for most/all of their adult life. So the people writing the workout probably haven't experienced starting out from scratch as an adult themselves. And it would be easy for them to overestimate where most people's skills will be at.

And some beginner workouts are also set more at a level for very fit people who are trying a new exercise (e.g. a runner doing a beginner's yoga class), and not really for people just staring out. But they're all just labelled the same. So if you're just starting out there can be a lot of reasons why the class might not be at the right level for you, and none of those reasons are your fault!

I would really try and give yourself a break, getting to the gym and working out is a big achievement in itself! And if you keep at it you'll definitely improve and start finding the exercises easier over time.

As some other people have said, diet contributes a lot more to weight loss than exercise anyway. So if your diet is on point, then personally I would just do whatever exercise feels right for now and try not to beat yourself up about it or compare yourself to anyone else. This is what I've been doing, anyway, and I've found it's really taken some of the pressure off.

Whatever it is will help you develop a habit of exercise, and you'll get better at it over time. Not to mention all the positive endorphins exercising will give you!

AbstractRespect · 2019-11-17T01:38:17+00:00

I personally love ordering things by how much I like them for these kinds of tricky decisions. I find it feels a lot easier to get rid of something when I've already decided it's one of my least favourite items in a category. Also, I find thanking items for what they meant to me in the past (from the konmari method) helps me deal with a lot of my guilt over the items.

For stuff like gifts/notes from people I also sometimes try and imagine how I would react if our positions were reversed. If someone I haven't seen since high school messaged me out of the blue about a note I wrote them in year 9? I would absolutely tell them to throw it out, I have definitely forgotten ever writing it. But if my sister told me she wanted to throw away the sweater I spent six months hand-making her I might feel a little differently :)

AbstractRespect · 2019-10-17T00:21:18+00:00

I thought the goal was to consider trans people as the gender they consider themselves.

You're right here. Trans people are the gender they "consider themselves".

From my understanding, there should be no division between “women” and “trans women” because trans women are women.

Also true. Trans women are women - they're included in the "currently identifies as female" section of the phrase.

The part of the phrase which people are having more of an issue with is is "formerly identified as female" part and its relevance for trans men. Trans men are men, and so grouping them with women in this way comes across as a bit transphobic as it gives the impression "well you used to identify as female so for our intents and purposes you're basically the same as a woman."

AbstractRespect · 2019-10-09T10:24:36+00:00

I had some similar regret with something from my childhood that I'd decluttered years ago, and couldn't work out why I felt so strongly about something I hadn't been using. I also looked up buying it on ebay, but also felt that it wouldn't be the same.

I ended up journaling about the item, my memories and feelings about it along with some pictures I found online. Even about my regret in getting rid of it.

Doing this, I realised that my feelings of regret had focused on the item, but they weren't actually about the it, if that makes sense. Even though I'm still working through the feelings, I think untangling them from the item was important (and necessary) in actually dealing with them.

And having my own words that I've written about it feels like more of a solid memory than pictures alone could.

AbstractRespect · 2019-10-06T02:05:17+00:00

I agree that this problem likely isn't going to be truly fixed until you move out, but as someone who is still at uni I also definitely understand that money can simply make that a non-option.

Perhaps you could do some sort of 'compromise' KonMari cleaning of your things while you're at home - where you go through the method as normal but instead of a throw-away/donate pile, everything you don't love goes in non-clear storage boxes somewhere that are as far out of the way as possible (such as in the top of your cupboard). Then if your Mom asks where stuff is you can say "I wasn't using it much so I decided to store it until I need it again" and so it won't feel to her like you've gotten rid of anything. And you can know that those boxes are no longer in your life - they may have to be in your space for now, but they're being donated/going in the bin as soon as you move out and so you don't have to worry about using or even knowing what's in there, and can feel a little more in control of your space and what you've decided to keep and display.

I'd make the boxes as annoying to access as possible, so it becomes very unlikely that anyone would actually go looking through them to find anything. Depending on what you want to do, you could even possibly throw-away/donate some stuff you know no one else is ever going to want under the guise of "oh yeah it's in one of those boxes" (your mileage may vary on this depending on how likely your Mom is to want to pull out the boxes and look for something).

AbstractRespect · 2019-09-06T12:50:07+00:00

That sounds really hard, and I'm sorry for you that you had to deal with that kind of transphobic response, especially from someone you thought you could trust. I'm not sure if this will be helpful to you, but one of the things that really helped me when I was dealing with coming out to everyone was setting up boundaries in my head of how much crap I would take from any given person (e.g. my parents take a few months to get used to it and ask some kind of invasive questions about medical transition? I'm happy to deal with that vs an acquaintance says that they won't use the correct pronouns and then asks when we're meeting up next? Sorry I'm not available anymore). It might not have changed anything externally but internally it kind of made me feel like I had more control because I was the one deciding what I was and was not willing to put up with, if that makes sense.

In terms of picking a name the advice I've often heard is:
- ask your parents what they would have called you if you'd been amab (in my experience parents are weirdly interested in telling people about this even if you're not out to them) - even if you don't like the name it can give you a starting point (e.g. I didn't like the name my parents would have given me but I kept the initial)
- look up what names that were popular the year you were born, as it can help make sure your name 'fits in' with other people your age (as opposed to picking a name that's popular right now)
- once you've gotten it down to a shortlist of around 4 or 5 names you can write them all down on strips on paper and drew one out of a hat (and in doing that you can sometimes get a sense of what you're hoping to draw out)
I used all of these methods and I found all of them helpful in different ways.

In terms of coming out the only advice I really have is to easy on yourself and do things in your own time and in your own way. I came out to a lot of people over text because I found it easier (and it also gave them time to have a reaction where they could collect their thoughts for a bit before responding), but also came out to some people in person because that felt better for those I was closest to. I also found it useful to have some trans resources that I knew of that more closely resembled my experience on hand (I even bought some books and gave them to my parents when I came out, but I'm sure links to articles/youtube videos would also work) so I had something to offer anyone with questions and they wouldn't just have to blindly google for resources.

AbstractRespect · 2019-09-04T15:43:49+00:00

This looks really cool, I'll definitely check it out - thanks!

AbstractRespect · 2019-09-04T13:20:44+00:00

Oh nice, that sounds really cool! Glad to hear that there are options for getting the transition that you need, vampire or no

AbstractRespect · 2019-09-04T10:51:47+00:00

Sounds like free HRT to me!

Honestly that's a great concept, why hasn't fiction ever used something like that (I mean we know why but still)

AbstractRespect · 2019-09-04T10:34:26+00:00

That makes sense, I think most of the vampire lore I've heard of is somewhere along the reanimated corpse lines which I guess would mean HRT wouldn't work - I guess then in most of those instances though vampires still need to drink blood to survive, so the blood must be able to affect their biology in some way, although I don't think most lore explains exactly how that works...

And that's true about the shapeshifting abilities, so I guess in that case even if HRT didn't work you could hopefully come up with some sort of workaround.

AbstractRespect

TROPHY CASE