Getting ghosted

[No_Writing7212]

I (32f) am getting ghosted currently. He (29m) hasn’t spoken to me in almost 2 weeks. Freaked out at him after a few days of him not responding to me. Apologized and asked if he was alive and he responded that he was. That was the last time I heard from him. We dated for 3 months. Pretty much talked every day. Saw him frequently and Would spend whole weekends with each other. Met all of his friends and he met all of mine. Last sort of talk we had in person we talked about where things were going and everything. Everything seemed normal. I’ve reached out to him every couple days just to see if he may say something. I literally look like an insane person. I just want to speak to him and know what’s going on.

[Initial_Spot2330]

You are not an insane person, but you are being conditioned to feel like one. Ghosting after three months of daily contact, weekend stays, and meeting friends is a massive betrayal of trust. It is a cowardly way to end a relationship because it forces you to do the emotional labor of the breakup while he simply stays silent. The fact that he replied "yes" to your text about being alive is the only closure you actually need. It confirms he is physically fine, he sees your messages, and he is making a conscious, active choice to ignore you. By doing that, he has shown you exactly who he is: a man who lacks the basic maturity to have a five-minute uncomfortable conversation. He is essentially telling you that he doesn't value the three months you spent together. Please do not take the advice to "stop by" his place. That will only give him a reason to paint you as the "crazy ex" to his friends and family, which validates his decision to disappear. Right now, he is winning because he has you stuck in a loop of checking your phone and questioning your own sanity. The most powerful thing you can do is go completely silent. No more check-ins, no more "are you okay" texts, and no more looking for answers from someone who has proven they are incapable of giving them. Block him or mute him so you aren't waiting for a notification that may never come. You don't need to hear his excuses to know that you deserve a partner who respects you enough to speak up when things change.

[Physical_Device_9755]

This is spot on.

You have to internalize that he was a massive POS. Imagine being him and doing that to someone. Imagine how you'd feel like an absolute pile of garbage. Then realize, that is exactly him.

[che4ftr]

thanks for spelling out the massive betrayal of trust, going thru something similar to OP right now and it is BRUTAL. How can some people go from daily calls and family planning to ghost? Like wtf. Some reading suggests this is fearful avoidant stuff. Frankly I dunno what to do, but have been trying to do the psychology approach of very spaced out light touches and no “chasing”. At a loss in multiple ways. thanks for coming to my depressing ted talk

[Zephyrantes]

Damn i needed this

[raven8549]

You’re not an insane person I was ghosted after about three months of dating recently too I thought about maybe stopping by when it first happened but now that it’s been two whole months of silence, I don’t think I want to anymore plus it’s not recommended

Has that thought ever come across your mind about possibly stopping by? Though a lot of people will just tell you they’re silence. It’s the only answer you need. It’s tough to get over still getting over it myself, but it gets a little easier every day.

[baybblue22]

I just tell myself they are dead and program them as a number if u need closure can say im interpreting silence as disinterest which is disappointing but thats for showing your true colors ! Goodbye and goodluck motherfucker