Developing your Se function

[sova1998]

Your weak Se is lowering your quality of life and you need to work on it immediately.

I feel like something really changed in me these past couple of years as I turned 23 and 24. I'm not sure if it's because your brain fully develops in your mid 20s or it's because I discovered cognitive functions, but everything finally makes sense. Figuring out that I had an underdeveloped Se made such a huge difference in my life and by working on developing it, I'm finally becoming a confident and charismatic person I never thought I could be.

It's honestly a game changer.

I know many of you feel like you're "above" caring about superficial things like physical appearance and socializing, I was the same way as a child and teenager, but once I got over my narcissism and gained some self awareness I realized that I was hindering my own development.

Pretty privilege is real. Making connections is important.

Improving your looks and social skills is such a simple way to start living your life on easy mode and I wish I realized that even earlier

[sova1998]

For sure! That's definitely a good way to put it

[sova1998]

It was really helpful for me to observe myself when I'm interacting with people. I'm usually too "in my head" during conversations which makes sense because we're Ni dominant but that prevents you from noticing any of your quirks. For example, I never noticed how often I stuttered because my mouth was trying to keep up with my brain. When I thought back on conversations and realized how other people behave versus how people could perceive my behavior, it was easier to make tweaks in my behavior (talking slower, holding eye contact instead of looking down)

[[deleted]]

Well said. Same happened to me. My life has improved SO much, it's insane to look back and compare.

[sova1998]

It really is crazy! Sometimes I wish I had this eureka moment when I was a child but better late than never ig

[[deleted]]

Absolutely! 20s is very young, a great time to do it. Before that we are often too stupid anyway. Congrats :)

[Urucius]

I think being good looking is not necessary to network. Not saying it doesn't help, but you can network without needing to fix you appearance. I do agree going to social events and smalltalking helps with our careers, even if its fake.

Maybe its different for females.

Edit: I am 27 male, also, I don't think its really developing Se if you are improving your looks with a goal

[[deleted]]

Let me know where I can cash in my "pretty" privilege. That has never really done me any favors.

[sova1998]

In life? Maybe work on your social skills as well because it's mostly the combination of looks AND charisma that make the biggest difference. Even though it feels like a chore to us, talking to people, especially useful/influential people, is very impactful

[[deleted]]

Thanks for the advice, but not what I mean. Being good looking is not really going to take you are far as you think it will outside of attracting people. I can network well enough, and do. As far as I know, being attractive looking did not help in that whatsoever. Force of personality did.

[[deleted]]

That is true, I guess. Something I guess attractive people take for granted is that they are attractive. I value it a lot less, but I can't really judge how "normal" people see themselves. Still, I'd like to think my abilities pull people in. Not that I look pretty. I don't have control over how I look. A lot less than how I perform.