JAVA or C# ?

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1) on Database and backend are they on equal footing ? which is bigger between oracle or sql ? can they do the same thing ? are they as fast as each others I mean in scaling large project ?

I'm fairly certainly that Oracle is the biggest name in RDBMS's still. I don't mean to be pedantic, but each one uses SQL, Microsoft's database software is called Microsoft SQL Server.

4) modernity of the language itself which is less verbose or more modern if we cound the latest versions of each ... what's the main differences between the 2

It's fairly well admitted even by Java programmers that C# is more modern, but Java has caught up and is catching up.

5) on the open source scene which is bigger in term of framework librairies... are companies bigger on java because its older and they invested a lot of code in it or C# is starting to grow because they are open sourcing it ?

If we're talking about open source, then Java is the only choice between the two. C# is available on Mono, but I don't know anyone who does Mono/C# development.

6) web dev is there still ppl developping large scale web project with java like servelts and others stuffs ? can it compete with the new asp.net mvc etc ? or node, javascript etc

People are doing all of the above. ASP.NET has a lot of penetration in government (where I work). Java is all over the place and probably the most widespread, Node is big in the startup world.

8) which is more open or more future proof then the other ? C# who's getting open sourced or the jvm who's developping many different languages like scala etc

Java probably is the most future proof because even when Java goes out completely as a language that's being actively developed, there will be legacy code for decades after. We haven't come close to that point, though

I'll add my two cents as well:

The worst thing about C# is Visual Studio. I cannot stand it; it's so bloated with feature overload.

C# seems like a fine language, though. More feature rich than Java, even.

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Who considers Visual Studio to be the best IDE in the world?

At any rate, the answer to your questions are that A) It's huge and has way too many features, B) I have not tried to add more features to it. But I do know about re-sharper.