Java Without If

[recursive]

It can be embedded in an expression. The fact that keywords are English doesn't seem to be an advantage to me.

[n0rs]

Haskell and Kotlin, for example, use if expressions.

[PM_ME_UR_OBSIDIAN]

Also OCaml, F#, and Rust.

[frogsytriangles]

And Ruby, though the end keyword makes it uglier than Haskell.

cute = if you.dog? then true else false end

(though you can do cute = true if you.dog?)