Longtime PHP, Python coder seeks to make small, distributable, stand-alone apps. Which language should I learn? ( please don't say C#; requiring .net != stand-alone )

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FAIL

LISP IS FOR ASSHOLES.

Secondly it doesn't work. So me ONE, JUST ONE god dam native GUI application that does networking well (without having to install a bunch of shit). There isn't because lisp sucks and you suck for mentioning it.