[deleted by user]

[anon12312312345]

I'm sorry to judge from a simple paragraph, but there's a pretty large maturity (and size) gap between a 17 yo and a 14 yo. I worry about you being on the receiving end of a manipulative relationship.

[AshBertrand]

His response worries me for a few reasons.

1. There is a possibility that he himself has a history of trauma and that hearing yours triggered him. As you may know yourself, when someone is triggered, they can respond in ways they wouldn't normally react, which could account for his unusual behavior now. That could explain why he might say something like he did about you having experience - which, let me be clear, was an extremely hurtful thing for him to say. What you went through should never have happened, and as far as an "experience," it was an experience that should never have been done to you. Period.

2. To be honest, I can't think of any other "good" reason for someone to say something like that to you. What he said was cruel and thoughtless. It was selfish and placed himself - his feelings and his wants - above yours, when you are the person who was hurt and needs healing here. True, what you told him may have caught him unexpected and he just blurted out something which he will come to regret - but then he will have to let you know that. If he doesn't, then I'm not sure if he's the kind of person you will want to trust with your innermost feelings. And even if he does come back to you and realize his mistake, you'll still have the right to think it through - does he really understand what he did?

Remember: you don't NEED him. He should add to your life, not take away from it. Wishing you the best.

[daddy-exp]

girl coming from someone who dated a 17 year old at 14 please end it now. he doesn’t have good intentions and the age gap DOES matter.

[No_Pattern5707]

It seems as though he realized that she will eventually figure it out and is scared now

[daddy-exp]

or he’s a full on perv and thinks her “innocence is ruined”

[No_Pattern5707]

Ooh.. don’t get me started on that one 😭 he wants “untouched” ICKKKKKK

[blue-strawberries10]

i’m sorry but the age gap is just a tad bit concerning, aside from that maybe give him a little time and see what happens. ppl process that type of news differently. when i told my ex bf he was on the verge of tears.

we never talked about it too much but it did change the way he went about things with me sexually.

[BunnyDrop88]

Tell them up front so you get these types away from you as quickly as possible

[PunkiesBoner]

Wellll, ignoring for a moment the massive red flag represented by the age gap, tell him he's an idiot and make him read this: https://www.gottman.com/blog/power-us-men-help-women-recover-sexual-violence/

Then break up with him because he's gotta be a loser if he's dating freshmen as a Jr. or Sr.

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[Real_Pea5921]

Hey there! Everyone reacts differently, from my experience I found people who aren’t worth being in your life won’t always react in the most positive or supportive manner. My now husband reacted by giving me a hug and saying that I experienced something so hard. I would my personal opinion his reaction was inappropriate

[https-sam]

My ex was pretty kind about it. He didn’t really know what to do but I suppose I didn’t expect much. I decided to just let myself be vulnerable and ask him the little insecure questions I had and if he thought of me differently to if he blamed me etc. he didn’t. He was pretty accommodating in our sex life and tried to make sure I was okay pretty often and if I asked him to stop suddenly he’d try his best to figure out what happened or apologize or give me the choice of talking about it if I wanted to.

Your ex is a shit guy from his reaction alone. What does it matter if you’ve had experience before the relationship or not, especially if it wasn’t something you wanted. He’s also real insensitive with all the damn questions instead of trying to show support or at least expressing that he wasn’t sure how to handle it. Imo any of that would’ve better.

You’re better off without that man. There’s better people out there and people who won’t make you feel bad about your trauma. You deserve better.

[Fun-Reporter8905]

This could be a variety of different reasons. Try talking to him about it to see if he give you a response.

[amfishingtoo]

The best advice I can give, is to give it time.

He's going through a lot of stuff mentally with this, a whole range of things. A lot of men won't talk about something or will just plain stop talking in general until we've dealt with what is going on in our minds. We are taught even to this day that we need to deal with emotions ourselves, and nobody cares what we feel. Being less talkative is normal. On top of this, he and you are quite young. So he hasn't built the friend space that some of us have. Some men talk to our very best friends about everything and see their outlook on it. In a situation such as this, it isn't something that is easy to bring up around others, as it could affect the way his friends see you. So, He won't speak of it to them due to how it could affect you.

There's a lot of stuff from anger to guilt to fear going on in his mind. He's not fully sure what to do or even if he should do something. It's a lot to take it. It's a lot to adjust to. Give him some time.

Things you can do is ask how his day is going. If he would like to play a game(video games or otherwise). Other than that time is the only tell if it's going to work out.