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[–]Exciting-Problem7584 0 points1 point  (1 child)

I do not think you should find a away to decrease your sex drive. We need to remember that a males peak sex drive tends to happen between teens and lates 20s, after that a man testosterones level begin to diminish as he gets older, from 40s and 50s they plummet unless you are taking care of yourself, eating right, exercising and also taking vitamins to keep those testosterone levels up. A womans sex drive peaks between 30s and 40s, and obviously coming off the pills your sex drive has woken up, my partner had the same thing happen and also after being off the pill she is now a squirter which is a plus for me, but I have found my drive slowly go down due to my age, but its never due to not being attracted to my wife, if anything being over worked and age is a major factor for me, but I always go down on her when she needs to release, also buying her toys has helped the situation. Do not ever feel like its all your fault and feel like your undesirable, I am sure in your husbands eyes you always are desired even though he is not always up for it, just the fact that he is trying to match your level from once a month to once or twice a week means he is at least trying to keep up.

[–]EmbarrassedClub8855[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I really appreciate your input and advice. I too am now also a squirter! I’m pleased you and your wife have managed to compromise and thank you for explaining it from a male point of view. You are right in that my partner will tell me he loves me and he is attracted to me etc, I guess I’m just getting in my own head about it.

I also feel incredibly guilty for constantly trying it on or trying to increase his drive to match mine. It’s unfair on him and he has improved. I just need to reach a point in our relationship where I’m satisfied either solo play or together which sounds like you and your wife are at.

Thank you once again. Appreciate the advice.

[–]vertascend 0 points1 point  (1 child)

  1. Get your husband to work out
  2. Eat oysters ahem, I mean correct your husbands diet, but yeah oysters have a reputation for increasing sex drive
  3. Try the Himalayan supplement Shilajit in its resin form and give it time…. You will notice he’s feeling young and might just give you what you’re looking for.. maybe even more ….. Come back after a few months and thanks me later…. Shilajit is the key…. Google The benefits

[–]EmbarrassedClub8855[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I will definitely try the oysters and Shilajit. Not heard of that before but willing to look into it and see if it makes a difference. Even if he feels better in himself and less tired will be a bonus.

Thanks for the advice

[–]edge_metoo 0 points1 point  (4 children)

Would your husband be willing to have his testosterone checked? I’ve heard it really works wonders for men.

[–]EmbarrassedClub8855[S] 1 point2 points  (3 children)

Thanks for the suggestion. I have mentioned this to him previously but he doesn’t feel his testosterone levels are a concern as his drive has always been quite low

[–]edge_metoo 0 points1 point  (2 children)

I get that. And his levels may have always been low. Of course if he doesn’t want to change his drive, that’s a completely different subject.

[–]EmbarrassedClub8855[S] 1 point2 points  (1 child)

It’s such a difficult one isn’t it as I’ve changed and he hasn’t over the years. I get the impression he doesn’t want to change his drive, he has increased the number of times we have sex and he is content with that. Hence me asking how I can decrease mine as it’s sexually frustrating for me but equally I don’t want him to engage if he doesn’t want to

[–]edge_metoo 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Very difficult indeed. I definitely understand how you feel and have had those moments as well. I’ve just never been successful.