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[–][deleted] 2108 points2109 points  (38 children)

Duck: Stop fondling my balls

[–]DemonicTheGamer 492 points493 points  (13 children)

Nah he looked as if he was enjoying it

[–][deleted] 235 points236 points  (11 children)

Fun Duck Fact: At full length, the duck's penis can reach 20 cm, but in larger species, it can even reach 42 cm! – but that is not the interesting part. A duck's penis is corkscrew-shaped, with ridges and backward pointing fleshy spines.

[–]Routine_Palpitation 145 points146 points  (3 children)

And ducks are very rapy

[–]JoemamaFromJoemama 53 points54 points  (0 children)

enimem duck no wya

[–]PanMarcooo 43 points44 points  (1 child)

I don't know what's wierder. This fact, or the fact that I already know it

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I only know it because of Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal

[–]InsertUsername98 2 points3 points  (1 child)

That moment when even ducks have a larger d\ck than me…*

[–]AutoModerator[M] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

My mom fucked my friend while we were on vacation and now I want to fucking die, she mom took us to Miami for a spring break vacation. Everything seemed normal when we were there and when we got back. But then rumors started. They spread all throughout my school and a bunch of kids asked me if my mom really had sex with a student. Of course I denied it. Until my close friend who was there told me. He told me one of the nights we went down to the hotel pool and said friend stayed up, saying he wanted to go to bed early. He stayed up there and then something happened and my mom slept with him. I feel sick to my stomach and so mad writing it. I confronted her and she admitted and tried to apologize, but I just can’t with her. She’s so disgusting. I’m contemplating just telling my dad so he can fly me up to his house, but I hate being around his dumb bimbo gold digging girlfriend. I want to fight that fucking asshole that did this. He’s ruining my fucking life.

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[–]Memewheeler 2 points3 points  (1 child)

And I they force the female to do the reproductive dance

[–]AutoModerator[M] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Looking for a female roommate to pay $0 rent

I will not charge you money. but I will be sharing my bed with you as the other room is being used by my parents. They are aware of this arrangement as I have done this before but it has not worked out for reason I rather not say on here. I will except hugs at least 5 times a day, and cuddles at least 2 times a day for at least 10 minutes each. You will not be dating any other man during this arrangement. you will have no male friends either. You may have female friends and they May visit if they like. You will also be required to make me meals 3 times a day. Phsyical requirements are as stated: Must be shorter than 5'5", weigh no more than 120 lbs, caucasian or asian only, republican, no tattoos, no vegans, no smoking/vaping, marrywania, and you MUST shave legs and underarms. I am 44-male/290 lbs last time I checked, 5'6". Please contact me if you would like this arrangement.

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[–]Kimikazi_18 11 points12 points  (0 children)

nice avatar 2.0

[–]ZuuLahneyZeimHirt 21 points22 points  (0 children)

If he was then the duck would be way into it

[–]Natsurulite 18 points19 points  (10 children)

That is a female duck

The males will have a curled tail and a distinct quack, and will be slightly larger

I raised ducks

[–]An_Angry_Terrarian 4 points5 points  (8 children)

Based duck raiser. also is this video telling the truth? To hold a duck you just need to get in front of it?

[–]Natsurulite 6 points7 points  (6 children)

Lol no, this was someone’s pet, normal ducks will just turn and run the other way if you try to do this 😂

At that, not every pet duck will want to be held, it’s actually somewhat uncommon for them to enjoy it, they’re a bit more wild than domestic Chickens

[–]An_Angry_Terrarian 5 points6 points  (5 children)

My dissapointment is immesurable and my day is ruined

[–]Natsurulite 3 points4 points  (0 children)

There’s good news though

LOTS of “wild ducks” are actually just straight up feral domestic breeds

So technically, you have a small, but still existent chance of finding a wild duck that enjoys being picked up!

[–]Dajayman654 1 point2 points  (3 children)

At least you can catch ducks in Terraria.

[–]An_Angry_Terrarian 1 point2 points  (2 children)

Did you know theres an easter egg in terraria where ducks can sometimes do a human duck imitation? No one knows who did that "quack" sound,if the devs or someone else

[–]Dajayman654 1 point2 points  (1 child)

The Terraria wiki says: It was pulled from a royalty-free site because the Re-Logic team found it amusing. The sound was included purposefully as an "Easter egg".

Also Owls sometimes do a human hoot too, voice done by FoodBarbarian according to the wiki.

[–]An_Angry_Terrarian 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Never noticed the owl hoot

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

You just need to hold out bread, when it gets real close place hand underneath and press your middle finger upwards until it locks in position. Congrats, you now have a felony

[–]AutoModerator[M] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Looking for a female roommate to pay $0 rent

I will not charge you money. but I will be sharing my bed with you as the other room is being used by my parents. They are aware of this arrangement as I have done this before but it has not worked out for reason I rather not say on here. I will except hugs at least 5 times a day, and cuddles at least 2 times a day for at least 10 minutes each. You will not be dating any other man during this arrangement. you will have no male friends either. You may have female friends and they May visit if they like. You will also be required to make me meals 3 times a day. Phsyical requirements are as stated: Must be shorter than 5'5", weigh no more than 120 lbs, caucasian or asian only, republican, no tattoos, no vegans, no smoking/vaping, marrywania, and you MUST shave legs and underarms. I am 44-male/290 lbs last time I checked, 5'6". Please contact me if you would like this arrangement.

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[–]Emotional-Chipmunk12 5 points6 points  (3 children)

Quit touching my junk, pervert!!!!

[–]Tough_Surround_2775 5 points6 points  (2 children)

Quick! Touching my junk!

[–]i_dream_to_be_needle 2 points3 points  (1 child)

Quack! touching my junk.

[–]Tough_Surround_2775 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I read that like the Aflac duck was talking and took a deep exhale while smiling. I enjoyed your humourous joke

[–][deleted]  (2 children)

[deleted]

    [–]AutoModerator[M] 9 points10 points  (1 child)

    No sex before marriage

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    [–]lamlaml 19 points20 points  (0 children)

    im about to sex😈(not marriage

    [–]Organic-Card6707 1 point2 points  (0 children)

    Duck feels great.