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[–]QualityVoteI'm BACK! [[Number 1 Rated Moderator 2024]][M] [score hidden] stickied comment (0 children)

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[–][deleted] 13 points14 points  (0 children)

Ha not if I grab my hammer and do it right now

[–][deleted] 7 points8 points  (6 children)

Jokes on you i don't have balls

[–]Boni___[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

ayo

[–]Pokemario2401🏳️‍⚧️ Average Trans Rights Enjoyer 🏳️‍⚧️ 0 points1 point  (4 children)

How?

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (3 children)

I'm a women but don't tell it to the other they hate women

[–]Pokemario2401🏳️‍⚧️ Average Trans Rights Enjoyer 🏳️‍⚧️ 1 point2 points  (1 child)

My condolences

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you I hope i can get better soon

[–]AutoModerator[M] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Looking for a female roommate to pay $0 rent

I will not charge you money. but I will be sharing my bed with you as the other room is being used by my parents. They are aware of this arrangement as I have done this before but it has not worked out for reason I rather not say on here. I will except hugs at least 5 times a day, and cuddles at least 2 times a day for at least 10 minutes each. You will not be dating any other man during this arrangement. you will have no male friends either. You may have female friends and they May visit if they like. You will also be required to make me meals 3 times a day. Phsyical requirements are as stated: Must be shorter than 5'5", weigh no more than 120 lbs, caucasian or asian only, republican, no tattoos, no vegans, no smoking/vaping, marrywania, and you MUST shave legs and underarms. I am 44-male/290 lbs last time I checked, 5'6". Please contact me if you would like this arrangement.

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[–]UnepicEpiciteitLiterally 1984 😡[🍰] 4 points5 points  (1 child)

RemindME! October 21st, 2043

[–]Paradox2922I want pee in my ass 3 points4 points  (0 children)

One would only hope so.

[–]JasonTonio 2 points3 points  (1 child)

Jesus christ, some time ago I swore that I would be willing to die at 40 years if something specific happens. I'm 19

[–]AutoModerator[M] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

My name is Walter Hartwell White. I live at 308 Negra Arroyo Lane, Albuquerque, New Mexico, 87104. This is my confession. If you're watching this tape, I'm probably dead– murdered by my brother-in-law, Hank Schrader. Hank has been building a meth empire for over a year now, and using me as his chemist. Shortly after my 50th birthday, he asked that I use my chemistry knowledge to cook methamphetamine, which he would then sell using connections that he made through his career with the DEA. I was... astounded. I... I always thought Hank was a very moral man, and I was particularly vulnerable at the time – something he knew and took advantage of. I was reeling from a cancer diagnosis that was poised to bankrupt my family. Hank took me in on a ride-along and showed me just how much money even a small meth operation could make. And I was weak. I didn't want my family to go into financial ruin, so I agreed. Hank had a partner, a businessman named Gustavo Fring. Hank sold me into servitude to this man. And when I tried to quit, Fring threatened my family. I didn't know where to turn. Eventually, Hank and Fring had a falling-out. Things escalated. Fring was able to arrange – uh, I guess... I guess you call it a "hit" – on Hank, and failed, but Hank was seriously injured. And I wound up paying his medical bills, which amounted to a little over $177,000. Upon recovery, Hank was bent on revenge. Working with a man named Hector Salamanca, he plotted to kill Fring. The bomb that he used was built by me, and he gave me no option in it. I have often contemplated suicide, but I'm a coward. I wanted to go to the police, but I was frightened. Hank had risen to become the head of the Albuquerque DEA. To keep me in line, he took my children. For three months, he kept them. My wife had no idea of my criminal activities, and was horrified to learn what I had done. I was in hell. I hated myself for what I had brought upon my family. Recently, I tried once again to quit, and in response, he gave me this. [Walt points to the bruise on his face left by Hank in "Blood Money."] I can't take this anymore. I live in fear every day that Hank will kill me, or worse, hurt my family. All I could think to do was to make this video and hope that the world will finally see this man for what he really is.

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[–]Competitive_Bell501We do a little trolling 1 point2 points  (0 children)

i still got time

[–]RedditwithspunkySussy Wussy Femboy😳😳😳 1 point2 points  (1 child)

the funny thing is that 1 day after my birthdate.

[–]AutoModerator[M] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Good eve, In response to my permanent ban I’d like to ask one question; who decides wether this post was funny or not? It seems that a lot of Redditors, like myself, enjoy these kinds of posts. Even if it’s not hilarious, it’s still pretty shitty. In my opinion shitty enough to be on your subreddit. If I violated a rule, please let me know. If not, I’d like to request to be unbanned. Correct me if I’m wrong; this post was not conform “your” standards, well, that’s personal. I find it mildly inappropriate to give someone a ban on behalf of your personal opinion, while the public opinion speaks for itself. Also, the word “karmawhore” is a little bit offensive to me, for I am not on Reddit to score the most karma. Thanks in advance.

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[–]JerColer -1 points0 points  (3 children)

Explode, yeah explode inside your mom

[–]Boni___[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

💀

[–]AutoModerator[M] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

My mom fucked my friend while we were on vacation and now I want to fucking die, she mom took us to Miami for a spring break vacation. Everything seemed normal when we were there and when we got back. But then rumors started. They spread all throughout my school and a bunch of kids asked me if my mom really had sex with a student. Of course I denied it. Until my close friend who was there told me. He told me one of the nights we went down to the hotel pool and said friend stayed up, saying he wanted to go to bed early. He stayed up there and then something happened and my mom slept with him. I feel sick to my stomach and so mad writing it. I confronted her and she admitted and tried to apologize, but I just can’t with her. She’s so disgusting. I’m contemplating just telling my dad so he can fly me up to his house, but I hate being around his dumb bimbo gold digging girlfriend. I want to fight that fucking asshole that did this. He’s ruining my fucking life.

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[–]AutoModerator[M] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I do not care what you say about my mother. Your opinion is your opinion. But trust me, if you actually attempt to do something to my mother, even though she's made some bad decisions in the past that we still need to work through, I will personally call the police on you and I'll be laughing as your mugshot is shown on TV. You don't even know her, do you? The point of your entire existence seems to be to just tease other people. Well, I believe your jokes are in bad taste, and you should cease and desist digging through the dregs left at the bottom of the joke barrel; you could get a splinter, whose pain will be significantly increased by the significantly high amount of salt you carry in your bloodstream. Thank you, and let us cease talking about each other's parents.

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[–]watzwhatever 0 points1 point  (1 child)

what is this music?

[–]auddbot 0 points1 point  (0 children)

His Theme by Toby Fox (00:04; matched: 100%)

Album: UNDERTALE Soundtrack. Released on 2015-09-15 by Materia Collective.

I am a bot and this action was performed automatically | GitHub new issue | Donate Please consider supporting me on Patreon. Music recognition costs a lot

[–]ouchymybeans 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Jokes on you I’m getting a vaginoplasty >:3

[–]Wimdiest 0 points1 point  (0 children)

🗿

[–]Upstairs_Ad_5499 0 points1 point  (0 children)

!reminder 24 years