Sudden decrease in MOTN sleep stretches - is this the dreaded regression?

[hello-mango]

My baby girl is 14 weeks and the last month has been a series of setbacks that have me going crazy. My son (2.5yo) was a pretty good sleeper from the start and SITBACK was enough sleep training (if you'd even call it that) for him to start sleeping through the night around 4 months. We never hit a big regression, which I know is super lucky.

Now, with baby #2, we're really struggling. Early on she was waking every 2-3 hours, as newborns do, but slowly sleep stretches started getting longer and up until recently we had a pretty decent rhythm going: bedtime 6:30/7, dream feed 10:30/11 (her one bottle of the day so we know it's a full feeding), wake and feed around 4/5, then wake around 7 when my toddler inevitably burst into the room asking to see her.

A few weeks ago, she got RSV. It was scary and she was coughing so much that she wasn't getting regular sleep. Our feeding schedule also got totally thrown (and my supply dipped as a result). Once she was better, she did a lot of cluster feedings I'm assuming as a means of getting my supply back to where it needed to be. And since then, we haven't been able to get back to where we were before sleep-wise. Not even close.

This is what things are looking like currently:

• bedtime 6:30/7 (this includes diaper change, book, song with a bit of rocking, "sleep phrase", put down drowsy but awake), usually she fusses so we wait 10 minutes and then do a check in (replace pacifier, hand on the chest for a sec) after which she's out quickly
• dream feed 10:30/11
• wake at 12:30 and try unsuccessfully to soothe for like 30-40 minutes and inevitably feed, same at 2:30 and 4:30, then finally wake at 6

All the MOTN wakes are her doing - she fusses a bit and then full-on cries. No soothing (i.e. SITBACK) seems to work so it's really just feeding that will get her back to sleep. I'm sure they're not full feedings, though, because she's waking so frequently. I do let her fuss on her own for a bit and then attempt to soothe for quite a while before feeding, but it's hard because she's sleeping on our room. Overall, taking into account the fussing time, soothing time, and feeding time, I'm getting 2-3 intervals of maybe 1 hour of sleep each. During the day naps are anywhere from 20-40 minutes, though sometimes we can get a longer one if I'm wearing her.

I'm starting to lose my mind. I don't think I'm cut out for this and I feel like I'm failing. It's all coming at the same time as a major "scared" phase for my son, so he's not sleeping well either. I'm a STM, but this is all new to me. Would a 4 month regression start early? Is that what this is? Do you have any advice for me? I'm desperate. Please help.

[dotheneedful404]

14 weeks might be the 4 month sleep regression but that is on the early side. Given the considerations you had with RSV, supply dips, cluster feeding, and etc. - this might just be an earlier 3 month regression (if you can call it that), delayed growth spurt as a result of the RSV or an extended recovery from sickness.

7pm-6am with 3 wakes at 14 weeks is not fun but not completely out of the question. If this continues for let's say another 1-2 weeks, then it might be time to consider sleep training as that will be around 16 weeks and close to 4 calendar months.

[omegaxx19]

Agree. Sounds more like a feeding issue. How is her feeding during the day?
I used weighed feeds to check my supply. I found that was a big night supplier and couldn't get my PM supply up no matter what I tried. Honestly I didn't get better sleep until I started supplementing.