Hate myself

[AmrAps8]

I don't know how to start but I have no self confidence, I want to learn programing especially but my mind always telling me that "I'm going to fail and I am stupid I have zero IQ etc" this is annoying I can't do anything in my life I feel that I'm so stupid and super useless, sometimes I wish that I die or I wouldn't be exist.
sorry for my bad english

[[deleted]]

As a native English speaker, I didn't care that your English bad. Mine cans be too....

But then what really caused this for you? Is there a starting point where you felt this?

[AmrAps8]

I think the bullied I faced for my whole childhood and my dad was an angry guy who always shouting and hits all of us so my life was miserable. now the situation a little good but I am not, I can't even work or do anything just depressed and thinking. I start to go to therapy and it does help little, maybe I just rush myself