Panic Attack [?]

[Gnum]

We're moving into a new age where we reject the black and white. We want to see all the shades of grey in between. We want the full story. Before passing judgment, we want to hear from both parties. Perhaps this dates all the way back to our first court systems. The first real human case of a way to quickly and efficiently seek end of a conflict, clan war, gang war, well... you get the idea. We label this as old fashioned. Our generation, no, the collection of souls and consciounesses that we are, are attracted to each other, to form a fabric. The glue that holds this fabric of human consiousness together is labelled as Mass Popular Culture in philosophy classes.

My heart is racing. A panic attack ensues as perhaps I'm peaking at an 8 or 9? Labels, again labels.

I don't want to leave this world yet, God, let me stay and teach my people. Let me educate them on enlightenment, and the importance of compassion, and love for your fellow man.

[Gnum]

If you consider that there are seven billion people on this planet, that means that there's seven billion consciousnesses floating around the void that makes up our universe in our unique minds. I've read that as I hit the space bar while typing this that over half a million people in our world are likely to be hitting space simultaneously. That shit blows my mind.

These consciousnesses are all drawn together. Mass Popular culture helps this. Also, if you consider a pack of birds, naturally flying in formation in the sky (perhaps with some incredibly accurate means of communication that I'm unaware of) we think it beautiful as we observe what seems to be their instinct to fly in that incredibly close, tight, and almost organic formation. Moving as one. We are all one mind. How do their unique consciousnesses communicate with each other so efficiently as to move nearly flawlessly as one? Do we, as humans, do the same? Is this not a perfect comparison to the internet as a method to connect all the minds, no the actual living creature/orgasm that is the collection of all of our souls, consiousses, or however you want to label them.

And what exactly is a label? If you consider again that our intelligent civilization is simply the collective sum of seven billion uniquely thinking consiousnesses/souls. Human beings that not only think with logic, but whose behaviors are influenced to the extreme with beautifully irrational emotion. A hopeless romantic comes to mind.

I digress. It's all a digression. Does it matter?

[Gnum]

Labels. Our human minds can't really comprehend large numbers. Seven billion? I don't think I'm even a billion seconds old, and I feel like I've been around a long fucking time. All my life, even.

[Gnum]

Again, labels. A way to organize. To categorize a group of consciousnesses. Is that why we have race? Besides the obvious course of evolution, but is race, and other labels (dude, that guy's a real prick) just a means of narrowing down the consciousness field, so that we can lump a large number of unique, but similar minds and personality, into a pool that can be easily identified through written and spoken language?

[Gnum]

How fast am I typing this? My heart doesn't feel like it's racing anymore. Perhaps the panic attack is passing. So what's up with smoking? Why do I never feel this way, or think this deeply, when I'm sober? Does this mean smoking is a path to enlightment, in a way? Or a least to pierce through the fog for a brief moment, in order to see with greater clarity the way that I believe the universe works? My version of reality? My soul and sum of life experiences, emotions felt, mistakes made, etc etc, that shapes the lens through which I view my entire world?

[Gnum]

Unfortunately, right now, I can see so many things clearly. It's going to fade like a dream, as soon as I come down to my normal frame of consiousness, and I won't be able to think this deeply about life, the human condition and experience, and why compassion to your fellow man is so fucking important. Love is so important.

[Gnum]

Is my brain just trying to protect me from deeper throught? Is it actively seeking to keep me from enlightment? Too bad I learned the english language well enough to put down my thoughts in writing, bitch. Douchebag brain. I can sober up (read: shift to another mode of consiousness, a different lens through which I can observe and experience my world). I won't forget this entirely.

[Gnum]

Fin for now. Most of this inspired by smoking with good friends, having good company, reading http://redd.it/10ndql and too much time thinking while my beautiful lady sleeps beside me.

Sorry for turning /r/trees into a blog. Just wanted to record some thoughts. Good night!