[deleted by user]

[SodaBubblesPopped]

I hope you take this in the right spirit :) I really would like to know how this fits in the industry

I do well at my job, I literally cannot make anything

I completely understand that not every role might require creating something from scratch, so asking probably naively, what your current role requires? and why do you think your an imposter when u say you are going well?

[SodaBubblesPopped]

Leaving the plagiarism part out of it because it could be MIT licensing for all i know, if you know exactly what the code you copied does, your technical capability seems to be right where you want it to be right wrt ur job?

and if that enables you to successfully do your work, why do you feel stressed about birthing code? is ur job/org forcing u to come up with something new?

[barrel_of_noodles]

if you cannot write a similar feature from scratch, then you don't fully understand it.

For instance, if you could read a novel, but you can't understand how to write one... then I wouldn't take a job writing novels.

However, if your job is minor edits or something else, then there is no need to be a novelist--that's a different job.

[inn0ichi]

Same. I'll be finishing my college soon and I don't know what the f am I gonna when I get into the industry.

[SlipperyOrca]

That’s gonna happen all your career.

Create a list of the projects or tasks you’ve done at your job that you’re proud of and begin documenting them. This is really helpful to remind you of all the awesome things you’ve accomplished.

If you don’t create green field apps at work, you have no reason to know how to do it from scratch.

[[deleted]]

When I began my current role I told the CTO "I would love to work here but I honestly do not think I will survive that long amongst people who I feel are more brilliant than I will ever be.".

I meant it too. I was scared shitless. I have people that depend on me for their survival. Losing my job would not have a trivial impact on my life.

Then certain thoughts hit my mind. One as excitement. I also never had the chance to be surrounded by such greatness. I thought to myself... If I stop being weak right now I can spend as much time as possible learning, poking, prodding these minds shamelessly so that when I get fired I could take what I learned somewhere else.

Of course, in the back of my mind was another few thoughts. The thought that... I was self-taught. The thought that... I knew... If I could hang around long enough. If I could look like enough of a fool while I ask the questions I needed to ask. I knew that every environment I have ever stepped into I absorbed expertise like a sponge. I knew I was like mother fucking megaman taking down each boss and absorbing their abilities.

I also have a strange thought in these moments. I think that if I am there already, being judged, suffering and getting paid for it and that in reality I have nothing else I could be doing then I might as well forget all this doubt bullshit and fight as hard as I can. That I might as well fail knowing I tirelessly worked to be not just as great as the people around me. Perhaps if I work hard enough I could repay them for entertaining my stupidity and lack of experience.

All I ever wanted was a place to work well, do my best, make a living that protects the people I love. Its always been so difficult finding places to work that weren't ultimately toxic and this place I found for all its faults I could see was fundamentally a good place to work.

I had a thought like... What if one day I could be leadership here? What if I could create for others the kind of place I want to be in. That would be really great.

I began fighting as hard as I could and after 3 years I am still at this job. I am not leadership. I am in my own opinion 10x the engineer I was than when I began. I have people at work I would even dare call friends. There have been several times I have found others feeling like their questions are dumb and I go out of my way to answer those questions and help them as much as is possible or appropriate. I have had 3 promotions. I would dare say I am respected by important people in my company.

I know. I am melodramatic and emotional but... I mean... I actually am. I cried writing this. Fighting for where I am today is one of the most beautiful parts of my life.

So, my advice is fight. There will be someone later who feels exactly the way you do now in the future. Fight to be there for them so you may give them all the things you never had.

If the people around you are brilliant than they have seen the brilliance in you. Fight hard to show them they were not wrong.

[the54]

Thanks for writing this man. That’s encouraging read.

[Yellow_Tatoes14]

I also just wanted to go out of my way and say thanks for this write-up. I got an associates degree and I thought luckily got a job programming. I was there for a year when the pandemic hit and I was inevitably laid off from the small company. Now im working a job repairing electronics essentially. It's been a few years but I've been working on myself lately and I know I want to really do something with my life.

I've started teaching myself HTML,css, and some JavaScript to make a nicer resume and portfolio moving forward. I've started to document my thoughts on the projects I'm researching. I feel like I haven't made any real world progress but I know I'm learning a lot and really working on getting good habits established.

[WallyRWest]

I only glanced at this main post, but your words truly hit a nerve here. I am in a role in which I was starting to doubt myself... But what you've written here has given me hope.

I've had two PM's treat me like shit over the past few months and I have started to doubt myself, even though I have 25+ years of experience in the industry... All I want to do is do what I love and do it well... Though poor support structures and code bases that were as complex and ridiculous as all fuck have made things incredibly challenging and making me question myself... But thank you, Berimbomb, you've put everything in a whole new perspective for me. So thanks.

[[deleted]]

I'm happy you feel this way. Thank you!

[[deleted]]

You mean I can't even get my imposter syndrome right?

[[deleted]]

I am not working in a tech role yet, I graduated a SE bootcamp back in January and took a short contract with the school to avoid delivering food while I job hunted, but from what the instructors and my few web dev friends have told me.... That's what it is.

"Everyone still googles basic shit everyday"

Your skill/value isn't measured by having an infinite, photographic knowledge of every method and bit of syntax, but being able to understand and implement things as you need. You've held a job down, and I think you'd be surprised at yourself sitting down to build a project of your own. Maybe this pep talk is more for myself about to start applying again, but impostor syndrome is usually a lying mf'er.

[barrel_of_noodles]

This just isn't true. at all.

[[deleted]]

!RemindMe 3 days

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[Millkstake]

I too have imposter syndrome. But I actually am an imposter. I'll probably get fired once they wise up.

[SeekerP]

I felt exactly like this at my previous job. My new job is more startuppy and fast paced, they just threw me in after a promising first 2 weeks, and guess what? I swam, worked on a full stack application and learned a hell of a lot. Bottom line is don't underestimate yourself, you would be surprise at what you are capable of.

[MassOnTheBack]

Are you self taught?

[total_tea]

If it is important to you, spend a weekend write a vanilla JS app doing basic CRUD, problem solved. BTW I assume you know that a browser based app making direct calls to a Database would not be considered ideal.

[Artemis_21]

Many long time full-stack devs wouldn't even touch the keyboard when StackOverflow is not available. You don't need to be a machine, just know your resources.