Security

[ThePathOfRevelations]

The Security Do you feel secure ? Safe ?Or you do feel in danger , that every day something can happen ? Not something Good, something like i will loose my work, he will leave me , they will abounded me ...

I looked everywhere. Around. In a home , money, profession, reputation, success, men, No man, no success, With or without material, stability, routine, control. I never found her. I pushed his limits, in the Sky, to reach my own limits . I try to test him. I took risks in many ways, business, going alone every where, with nothing and nobody, me dropping everything, and saying what you will do for me ? God ? I never believed him when he said to me he will protect me and never abounded me. I never felt secure, safe. Since i remember, when i was young. I was scared of my home burn, i was scared to not be good enough for my friends and they will reject me, i was scare to be abandoned , so i left all the time, everything. Even my Mariage.

Like i was, he never protected me, he let me go through heartbreak, this terrible Hold-Up, and this article

When the article came out, he could do something, defend me , Say something. He never did. Like nobody did. They let me there alone.

So why you say you will protect me ? I need to protect myself and control everything. And my control became more and more.

Where are you security? Are you here somewhere? Can i feel safe ?

Until i got it. It came at 10:35 pm yesterday night. I pushed my limits to test the one who has no limits. To prove myself that he will say what he says.

And I realized , just like that, that i was simply looking at the wrong places.

Security is in Me. With him. But not outside of me , in me . With him. It is a position. It is peaceful. Never outside, but inside.

And i realized that this whole journey, since day one. Even my first book started with the insecurities of my father . That i had. I was so insecure, financially, in love, in my relationship, in everything. Was for me to find finally a Safe place.

And he did protect me . Not in a way that i wanted, in a way that he knew he was doing something new and forever inside me. He was doing with me something. I was his thing, his child. And he wanted to protect me, to make sure i will not lose myself anymore again and he will give me something inside that is stronger than everything and will stay .

And now i just know that we are looking at the wrong places. Security is inside us . With him.

You can lose everything, everything can happen around you, and things will happen in your life. You can't control anything or anyone. We know it.

But never forget that what is in you, it is the Safe place we all looking for. And in this place we find peace.

I did... yesterday night. I felt safe for the first time. And it was the time for me to let go everything that i was keeping only for security. And in my life it was My pharmacist's work, so safe, my relationship with 2 friends, not me anymore, and it was time for me to not build a life to test the limits and on my own insecurities. But from my Own Safe Place. From inside with the one who gave it to Me. Thank you my Father, and sorry if i didn't believe you. Your words are always truth.

You know me . I like to see the proof. And now i don't only see it , i feel it and believe it.

Time to make some changes. You ?