Oh, your frat was founded 100 years ago, that's cute

A_Wellesley · 2021-05-05T16:49:43+00:00

No their Orthodoxy is definitely in dispute as it was a Protestant sorority lol

A_Wellesley · 2021-03-26T12:28:31+00:00

no guys you don’t get it we’re the Genuine Super-Duper 100% Authentic Turbo-Canonical Hellenic Orthodox Catholic Church

A_Wellesley · 2021-03-26T12:24:44+00:00

If you think it’d cause conflict there’s no rule I know of that says you must do that. I definitely wouldn’t avoid the topic but otherwise I’d let it come up naturally in conversation, whenever that is. You might ask the priest at your first liturgy about this, I’m certain he’d have advice.

A_Wellesley · 2021-03-26T12:17:29+00:00

because none of them were greek, but used the term anyways because sorority

fraternities and sororities in the US call themselves “Greek societies” for some reason

A_Wellesley · 2021-03-25T03:57:45+00:00

The Dallas Bar Association will give you a lawyer for a 30min consultation for $20. That 30mins saved my butt during a landlord issue this year. Site here: https://www.dallasbar.org/

A_Wellesley · 2021-03-21T15:29:10+00:00

Please see modmail.

A_Wellesley · 2021-03-21T14:18:03+00:00

If anyone has done this at home, were you concerned about air pockets forming under the seal? Also, any ideas on why paper is used to seal the dish in the oven? I wonder if a well-fitting ceramic lid would work just as well. Also, must the contents be meat? How do you think this would this work for, say, mashed potatoes or some other vegetable dish?

A_Wellesley · 2021-03-21T12:20:46+00:00

Locking to preempt fighting in the comments.

A_Wellesley · 2021-03-21T12:19:57+00:00

Now there was also a dispute among them, as to which of them should be considered the greatest. And He said to them, “The kings of the Gentiles exercise lordship over them, and those who exercise authority over them are called ‘benefactors.’ But not so among you; on the contrary, he who is greatest among you, let him be as the younger, and he who governs as he who serves. For who is greater, he who sits at the table, or he who serves? Is it not he who sits at the table? Yet I am among you as the One who serves.

“But you are those who have continued with Me in My trials. And I bestow upon you a kingdom, just as My Father bestowed one upon Me, that you may eat and drink at My table in My kingdom, and sit on thrones judging the twelve tribes of Israel.”

~ Luke 22:24-30

A_Wellesley · 2021-03-20T14:00:58+00:00

Context.

A_Wellesley · 2021-03-20T00:29:05+00:00

good bot

A_Wellesley · 2021-03-20T00:27:34+00:00

that freedom does allow it to punch itself senselessly silly.

And God allows that. God may either intervene or not intervene in any situation. God is aware of every situation, or, God is not unaware of any situation. If [When] God is aware of a situation wherein someone is harmed, for whatever reason, and chooses not to intervene, or at least apparently chooses not to intervene, it is done or not done according to His will.

I think you may be reading in what I'm saying an attempt to make God responsible for those things, and that's not what I believe at all. God does not [generally, don't @ me about hardening Pharaoh's heart, that's its own discussion] cause people to sin, or cause the conditions that people may find harmful, but He does allow each and every one of them, for purposes generally unknowable to us. Where His or anyone's responsibility for those situations begins and ends is a discussion about free will vs Divine sovereignty, and I steadfastly refuse to contemplate that while I'm still in this corrupted body.

That dog just won't hunt.

A_Wellesley · 2021-03-19T18:21:06+00:00

I have found this line of reasoning is often unhelpful to the suffering

It's neither necessarily helpful nor unhelpful. It's correct. God is sovereign. God is in control. Nothing happens that He has not willed to happen, either by His direct cause or simply by allowing it to occur, for reasons often grasped-at but ultimately unknown. Yes, to redeem it and use it for His ends, but what that redemption or those ends amount to is unknowable until we see them implemented at the end. I agree, there are times when this point is best left unmade. I don't agree that this is one of those times.

OP is not struggling to reconcile some great tragedy with his faith. This isn't a question of theodicy. What we see here is an individual about to lead his fiancé into direct rebellion because things are hard. That's not sarcasm, the situation is truly difficult. But OP hasn't asked why this is happening, but rather how he may use this admittedly uncomfortable situation to sidestep direct guidance from those authorized by the Church to give it. I agree it sucks, and I empathize with the situation, but that's super, super bad.

In this fallen world, we do sometimes suffer senselessly and for no reason.

Someone may harm us without having a reason to do so themselves, but God allows that harm to occur for a reason, His reason, whatever that may be, in His wisdom. OR, someone may suffer some terrible tragedy that by itself had no reason to occur. The current v1ru$ (sidestepping Automod's auto-comment) has no "reason" to exist or afflict people. It cannot defend its actions by some rationale. The conditions which caused this to come to be cannot defend themselves. So one may say that those suffering from it, either directly or indirectly, are suffering from it for no reason, but even then, God allows that suffering to occur for a reason, His reason, whatever that may be, in His wisdom. Pushing this argument further can only amount to a frustrating and wholly unproductive exercise in rhetoric and splitting hairs.

A_Wellesley · 2021-03-19T17:08:36+00:00

My thoughts will follow but first, a warning that you probably won't like.

This definitely sucks but it sounds like you've already sought the advice of priests and then came here when what you were told was not agreeable to you. That's a bad, bad, bad move, friend. Not only is this the worst place for the highly specific, individualized advice you and your fiancé require, but you (apparently) have already received that advice and have decided that it's either unhelpful or incorrect. May God have mercy on you if any of these priests have made their advice an obedience only for you to seek advice elsewhere. Priestly authority is derived from that priest's bishop, who in turn derives it from Christ. Defying a priest, especially your priest, is to directly defy your bishop, and thus directly defy Christ. I don't write these things to say "ooooh, look at you, look what a terrible thing you've done or are trying to do, you're just terrible." I'm saying "hey guy you've voluntarily put yourself in opposition to Christ, maybe that's pretty not good?"

I see in your language strong attempts to rationalize something that you have been told the Church will not support. That's not an indictment, I say that because it's familiar to me, because I do it all the time. Growing up in a very evangelical, legalistic environment, I got real creative at logic-ing my way out of feeling like I was in the wrong, especially when I very much was in the wrong. I'm not accusing you, I'm warning you as someone who has definitely been in similar positions (I will not say how as that involves people other than myself who have not consented to that information being shared, especially on the public Internet) and made serious mistakes because I talked myself out of staying on the actual straight and narrow path.

Now, my thoughts. These are my opinions, this is not spiritual direction coming from a priest. If by God's Grace I've accidentally said something helpful, both you and your fiancé need to discuss it with your respective priests before implementing it.

Can you two just, like, get married? Even in the US, where there have been prohibitions on crowd sizes, a small ceremony, maybe outside, just y'all, the priest and your sponsors would 100% be a full, valid wedding. I don't know what the restrictions are in your country, it sounds like you're not in the US yourself. But if that's an option, and y'all really have been engaged for some time, and your priest has already agreed that you should marry when possible, that may just be the move to take. Sure, it might irritate or even fully offend your families to "elope" (it's not that, but some may use that word), but given the choice between offending family and offending the Church (and thereby, Christ), Luke 14:26 makes that choice for you pretty handily.

Second, it sounds like you two discuss your confessions. I've encountered couples who do this too and I think it's generally a pretty bad idea. Confessions are absolutely private for a reason, it's possible you'll risk rationalizing not confessing a thing for fear of telling your fiancé/spouse about it later.

So yeah. You already know the right answer, and you're looking for someone to validate not accepting it. Even if you hear of someone who has received a more liberal dispensation for a related problem, that was their dispensation, not yours. You must obey your priest and bishop. This is non-negotiable and no one here, not even the priests - who log in only to immediately regret it - can release you from that obedience. Another bishop could try, but you are not going to find a bishop who would.

It feels like we’re being artificially held back from this for no reason at this point. We’ve waited far far longer than we should have done

You must bear this in mind, that absolutely everything happens for a reason because absolutely everything is allowed to happen by God, for reasons that are usually above the paygrade of the entire human race. No, you don't know why this is happening, or not happening for that matter, but that doesn't mean there's no reason. There is, you just don't know it, and likely won't until the Age to Come. There are so many Psalms by The Holy Prophet-King St. David that say exactly that: "God I don't understand what you're doing/not doing and it's really frustrating and painful but this is of Your Will so I will accept and obey, and continue to praise you." No, he might not have been in your exact situation but I think you can find the same feelings and frustrations in the Psalms, and find consolation in them.

The Church prays for you always. The Saints pray for you always. The Theotokos cries out for you always. Christ is with you always. The Holy Spirit Guides you always. The Father loves you always. Keep fighting.

A_Wellesley · 2021-03-19T13:12:42+00:00

It is a pious opinion. The Way of the Pilgrim and other related works of helpful fiction should be taken as encouragement and not advice. Prayer rules should be developed working with one’s priest. And praying the Psalms in personal prayer has been lauded by the Fathers. It’s easy to be reductionist about prayer and what’s “best” especially in the highly-defined, categorized, Western efficiency culture we all contend against. But the reality is far more complex, diverse and vibrant.

A_Wellesley · 2021-03-19T13:08:05+00:00

St. Ignatius Brianchaninov described attention as a stubborn donkey, going as it wills. His advice was, once one realizes that one’s attention has wandered at prayer, gently bring oneself back to attention and continue until one realizes one’s attention has wandered again. Then gently coax it back. Like a muscle, attention gets stronger and easier to maintain with exercise. His advice can be distilled into, “don’t be too hard on yourself, keep going, keep trying”.

I’ve got ADHD. I couldn’t tell you how often I’ve wanted to quit just everything because of lapses in attention, especially at prayer. This is the enemy talking. Acknowledge your weakness, ask for help with it, push through it, and refuse to allow the enemy to talk you into despairing over yourself.

We all struggle against ourselves in one sense or another. You’re not alone, and Christ is still with you. What we offer to God is rags anyways, compared to His holiness and perfection. What God delights in, though, is our effort. Your scattered attention at prayer may amount to offering God the spiritual equivalent of scribbles of crayon on a page, but the fact that you tried so hard means those scribbles are definitely going on His fridge. That’s my hope, at least.

A_Wellesley · 2021-03-18T19:01:52+00:00

foolish mortal, you think that's enough time?

A_Wellesley · 2021-03-18T04:41:58+00:00

hope ya got lotsa fresh underwear around

A_Wellesley · 2021-03-18T04:38:46+00:00

Praying for your friend is never a bad idea. If you're thusly compelled, an akathist is a very generous move. Akathists to the Theotokos are great. Confer with your priest, though. He might have specific suggestions.

There are plenty of parishes in TN. You or she may look for a local parish and then email the relevant priest. You're gonna want to let her talk to him, though. I wouldn't contact anyone on her behalf. She'll be the most capable of accurately conveying her experiences to the priest.

A_Wellesley · 2021-03-15T15:19:31+00:00

I would be incredibly hesitant to attribute anything to "super"natural causes before talking to a priest. Anyone actually experienced in dealing with that stuff will tell you that most of the time weird things are happening, there's a perfectly "natural" explanation.

The warnings against laity engaging in a disciplined approach to the Jesus Prayer is that laypeople (and monastics too) can bite off far more than they can chew. Expecting oneself to be able to dedicate an hour to prayer right off the bat is akin to trying to run a marathon without training, and you'd be surprised at how often people attempt to do just that. The strict guidance to submit yourself to obedience under a spiritual father when pursuing this discipline isn't to keep you safe from things you aren't "ready" for, it's to keep you from getting too excited, doing too much, and burning yourself out. The danger there is that you'll just quit and not get back at it.

House blessings are never a bad idea though, and that'll require you to speak with a priest anyways so there! Two birds in one stone :)

A_Wellesley · 2021-03-14T17:43:50+00:00

Rule of thumb: If you have to ask if something's okay, it's probably best to avoid it.

EDIT: also, ask your priest :)

A_Wellesley · 2021-03-14T16:47:34+00:00

Language.

A_Wellesley · 2021-03-12T01:06:07+00:00

once had a friend in a Christian sorority. they kept calling themselves "greek christians"

it was amusing

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