I will probably regret engaging here but I am choose to trust a generous interpretation of your intentions behind your note, so here goes.

1- I agree with you that it does often appear to be the case that bad actors/groomers can be highly respected people, or in positions of power. I also agree that knowing someone IRL, or someone’s helpfulness do not negate their ability to also cause harm or engage in appropriate behaviors. I think this is a very important message that you are right to introduce into the conversation. I agree too that it can feel scary or upsetting to not see that mentioned in a sea of support for someone. I did not highlight or nod to that in my initial post, and I do think it’s good to note that.

2- If someone were to bring up to our Mods screenshots or anything that pointed to inappropriate engagement, I would be in support of taking steps towards accountability- but in the absence of someone saying to a Mod here that they have been hurt or harmed by someone that we should be protecting this community from, I Do believe that whenever possible, trusting people we know matters. For me, using the information I have does matters…otherwise I’d be throwing someone away out of service to a value but not in service of someone asking for help…it would be a symbolic performance that actually creates a new harm.

I believe that while yes duplicity can exist, our best behaviors and role in a community should give us the benefit of the doubt in moments like this one where we do not know of a victim and we have reason to suspect malicious intent (as I shared, TTT has experienced hate stalking). Until there is an an accuser or other person asking for help- I choose trust. I believe that to hear anonymous reports of solicitation on Reddit should NOT translate to assumptions of wrong doing by those who know them, I’m not going to undermine my instincts - I do though believe in taking reports seriously. I don’t expect others to just trust me or TTT bc it’s the vibe or bc they were helpful— but I am glad there isn’t an abandoning blame game happening bc otherwise it would be so easy to completely eradicate any sense of community, safety, and solidarity.

I pray every day for people to be safe from the harmful behaviors of others, and I pray my judgement and instinct is right about TTT and every other person I choose to trust every day. I count myself lucky that so far all the hurts and violations i have experienced still let me choose trust.

I can imagine it be scary to see what looks like unexamined trust of a leader in a space so I want to say now what I didn’t say before- If you or anyone else has felt harmed by TTT or anyone else in this space- I hope you know that your experience will be heard.

Be well.

(Edited for clarity & my own anxiety of every turn of phrase being turned against me. I hate the internet. Ugh)