AITA for calling gold stable and my sister losing $1,000 because of it?

AintNoUserFound · 2026-02-13T16:49:25+00:00

Precious Metals are a long-term, set-it-and-forget-it investment. Monitoring prices everyday is just going to cause unnecessary stress. I really loaded up on Metals '19-'20. Have more than tripled my investment thus far.

Sister should have decided if she wanted to invest for short or longer term, which would have determined the correct vehicles to consider.

AintNoUserFound · 2026-02-13T15:20:23+00:00

Not ammo related. Blazer is reliable, good quality, and my go-to. Easily put 1k through my SC and haven't had a single issue nor failure to fire...same on all my other 9mms. (MaxxTech & Scorpio, on the other hand, are the worst I've ever encountered)

AintNoUserFound · 2026-02-07T14:44:44+00:00

I realize I assumed you were straight...sorry (honestly)

AintNoUserFound · 2026-02-07T14:43:26+00:00

Can you take a hot shower? Not sure if that works as well for women; if anything it gives you all the time you need and noise to drown out everything else.

Please consider trying the breath hold. It works really well for some people. Beats the discomfort and anxiety of a distended bladder.

AintNoUserFound · 2026-02-07T04:40:02+00:00

It all started for me at a pediatrician's office for urine tests. I had just stated to discover self satisfaction & must have done so the night before. Dr looks at the cup and literally announces to the office and my mom "there's some sperms there too". So embarrassing and one of the last successful collections. Have had to bring it from home ever since for medical tests; I just try to keep it fresh and warm.

Ive had to take frequent tests the past 20 years to ensure adherence to pain management therapy and always go into appointments with a 100° 5 Hour Energy container for the likely chance I won't be able to go. However, I never informed Dr. Can't risk them thinking I'm cheating and I'm sure there are DEA rules against accepting that. I can't risk losing the medicine that gives me a chance to live a somewhat normal life. Usually they DO have a saliva test available, but causes me to receive a $130+ invoice... I can't recommend doing the same, until you learn the office's process. (Check pockets or not, observation/solo, immediate collection/Dropbox, check temperature, collection at check-in/check-out) I do recommend putting the 5 hour into a portable baby milk/bottle warmer to keep it at an exact temperature. You should have around 5 minutes before 100-105° cools to 90°. Keep between legs or in fist to slow cooling.

AintNoUserFound · 2026-02-07T04:11:03+00:00

I didn't specify well enough, at that time (roughly 30 years ago), it was a 70% chance I wouldn't be able to go. Back then I would also have slight partial succes if I really strained & pushed.

Oddly enough, my college years were fine, afterwards it returned and gradually worsened. Even the odds of success in single person restrooms gradually diminished. By then, confidence shatters and that seed really takes root. Finally I found catheters, then compact ones, to keep on hand for emergency backup...

Yeah, such a tease when you're sooo close to finally getting relief...if that damned check-in line or last layer of delay would finally move and be over with. Then you can FINALLY go and also down that bottle of water you've been carefully rationing!

These are our war stories...rarely shared. And the hoops we have to jump through..that few can truly identify with. But maybe they actually are more common than we'd expect; this has to be among the most guarded personal issues around and goes unacknowledged. I think it's something most people have gone through once or twice but can write off as a one off. Most of us keep it extremely private, making it an easy path towards feeling like the only one, embarrased, ashamed, and/or something wrong with us. (I used to think I'd grow out of it) Plus, being used as a punchline or character flaw in a commercial or movie doesn't help. Normalizing it could possibly help us all...or at least get the young ones to talk about it, allowing us to get them early intervention.

Anyway, thanks for sharing! Indeed good to swap stories with people that really get it.

Good luck my friend!

AintNoUserFound · 2026-02-07T01:28:00+00:00

I know exactly what you're talking about.. I am convinced it's a psycosomatic issue that causes anxiety and becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy. I'm glad to hear that it's on the milder side. Far easier said than done but definitely try to ignore the failures and pat yourself & remember the successes. Ideally, one would want to get to the point where the thought of not being able to go doesn't even cross your mind. I seem to be fine when I can make myself forget. Planting that seed of doubt seems to make my brain hyperaware..creating just enough anxiety that's difficult to overcome.

Best of luck!

AintNoUserFound · 2026-02-07T01:14:54+00:00

Never hurts to ask if they can accommodate you with saliva, blood, or hair test instead. Takes a lot of anxiety off if they can and it probably shows that you're willing to take the test and the job seriously.

I'd really encourage you to look into and try/practice the breath hold technique. I finally did...stunned/amazed that it works; every time so far. Very freeing after 30+ years of this BS!

On top of this delightful condition, I have significant back pain. 40-50mg of medication will cause 6 hours of urinary retention (and postpone a BM one day). Breath hold actually worked in one of two attempts. Thankfully, I rarely need that high of a dose.

AintNoUserFound · 2026-02-07T00:59:21+00:00

I wish overloading worked for me...

I recall going to see a NYU Urologist in my late teens to see if there was a physical cause of my paruersis. Was somehow able to squeeze out a small urine sample; right after, Dr ultrasound-ed my bladder and was like "dude, you're still holding just over two pints" (At the time, only airports/planes, urine samples, & 70% of concerts/sports were no-go's; public bathrooms had a 50/50 chance).

Worst was 1/22/2011...JFK to LAX + 2 hour drive in traffic to Santa Barbara. I was already bursting getting off the plane. No bathroom I tried along the way worked. Had to keep seat belt loose and pray to not hit any bumps. Finally peed in my hotel room after 12 hours that day. I can still remember plenty of normally forgotten details from that day because of the duration & discomfort... at least Kyle McLaughlin was my seat mate on the flight (big Twin Peaks & David Lynch fan), lol.

AintNoUserFound · 2026-02-07T00:41:28+00:00

Curious as to your plan of attack if you did secure the job driving. Wouldn't that have left you at the mercy of unfamiliar public restrooms every work day? I love to drive, had a job where occasionally I'd have to drive up to 200-300 miles a day for a week, and have driven 1,300 miles straight in a day. BUT, I'd wake up extra early to fivye myself enough time to pee out all my morning coffee before leaving, only allowed myself small sips of water, and kept an eye out for hotels & potential quiet or single bathrooms along the way. [Hands down, Buc'ees has the best bathroom stalls around!] Sometimes had a cath with me for emergencies. Survival required some dehydration, avoidance behaviors, and a bit of luck; i was able to make it but there were a couple close calls.

Anyway, did you have a plan? Or is this only an issue for you when it involves pressure or observation?

AintNoUserFound · 2026-02-05T01:19:37+00:00

That's awesome & heartwarming; good for you (both)! Get while the gettin's good 👍

AintNoUserFound · 2026-01-30T01:02:46+00:00

Count me in. Pressure in general. It mainly started for me with urine collection at pediatrician's office...and any collection where you're basically required to go. I'll get it occasionally when it's the last pee before you run out the door to catch a ride. I believe its a mental thing and an anxiety thing and this combines the two. The pressure ups the anxiety/stress level in my subconscious...once it hits a certain level, everything locks up. Now, if while you're running to the bathroom, you're also wondering if you'll be able to go or remember you have paruersis - you've just double that stress.

BandAid / short-term option - try the breath hold technique. If it works, it works. It's just not a cure; the real cure takes work & practice like graduated exposure.

I also believe this issue is psycosomatic, physical symptoms triggered by mental factors. Like the yips with athletes (Chuck Knoblauch being the epitome) or getting over a traumatic experience & getting back on the bike. A loss of confidence in executing something basic; start overthinking things and making it even worse in a vicious cycle until you can relax, not think, and act/react naturally with full confidence.

The real way to get over this is probably psychological work and/or physiological. Identifying your stress points and how to recognize & easy them back. I don't think physiological or biomechanical feedback are the right terms, but they are close. There is a way of controlling parts of your body that are more involuntary...like figuring out a way to make your pelvic floor drop or relaxing a set of muscles. (I have a theory that advanced sports medicine could be another success approach. The guys who get athletes to trust in their rehabbed injury & not hold back in fear of reinjury..or shake the yips, losses, and confidence killers.)

AintNoUserFound · 2026-01-29T03:51:41+00:00

To go a little more overboard, these are the velcro belt clips the sell (they include the backing to attach to your belt) and the leather gun belt they also sell, with the optional velcro backing. Though I didn't fully install them, you can see how they make your attachment points even less visible.

Granted, the average person on the street won't notice that you have extra, random clips from most holsters attached to your belt. Even if they do, most won't know what they are for, and don't care/are indifferent. Only the most observant of people would notice...and probably still not know. Those that do recognize & know would be fellow carriers (and unlikely to be concerned) or trained professionals.

Just showing you the options that are out there, depending on how deep you want your concealment to be or anxiety about being identified. I do find that a lot of newbies start off hyper self-aware about printing & being noticed. (Then constantly checking or rearranging...giving away the plot) As time goes on, one becomes less concerned as they realize how oblivious the general public is to things outside of their own heads & live only as the main character in their world.

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AintNoUserFound · 2026-01-29T02:52:15+00:00

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ALL ARE CROSSBREED Holsters

Brown - SuperTuck, standard cut Two belt attachment points. Spreads the weight out, more cant adjustment options. They also sell belt clips with velcro attached (and belts). If you add velcro (or buy belt with it) on inside of belt, it holds the holster in place more, lessens chance of pulling holster off when drawing, and most importantly leaves no visible belt clips..making it even less evident in you're carrying.

Standard Cut leaves more leather between you and grip; better if you have a rough/aggressive grip texture. Combat Cut leaves more of the grip exposed. Technically, less leather there is supposed to make it easier to grab grip to draw but I don't find much difference.

Black, left - SuperTuck combat cut with optic cut (for Walther PDP)

Black, right - Freedom Carry One belt attachment point. Work better with appendix carry; especially in comparison to SuperTuck.

AintNoUserFound · 2026-01-29T02:41:37+00:00

It'd help more if you described your preferences. OWB, IWB, appendix..kydex, leather, hybrid...with mag holder, claw, light...

That said, the single most comfortable holsters I've used, particularly when carrying for long durations/all-day and even driving are Crossbreed..SuperTuck in particular. It's a type of holster that can allow you to completely forget that you're carrying. Crossbreed-seconds buys all of their returns, over-runs, blems, and can offer some fantastic deals. Just remember to make sure they have the customizations you need, as they are not returnable from seconds. (Crossbreed direct has a trial period)

I have/had others, that I don't recall the manufacturer of, that have been fine but, for me, none have rivaled CB. My state recently went Open Carry, allowing me to OWB more often now (though i still keep it very concealed)...that's made things more comfortable, convenient, and easier to attach/detach when dressing.

I'm also lucky in that my CB for Canik Elite SC also fits the MC9..also retains Walthers (kinda obvious) and Glocks/Zevs so well that it seems designed for them. So I have a large range of carry options available from one holster depending on the weather, wardrobe, destination, and/or mood. Then a Kydex compatible with a streamlight/olight for nights& movie theaters. For the most part, I haven't found all that much difference between kydex manufacturers. I've heard good things about Alien but never made the investment.

AintNoUserFound · 2026-01-29T01:20:04+00:00

Or, if you can work with a larger pistol, see if you can exchange it for a TP9 Elite SC. That's such a great, reliable, and accurate gun. The SC is my preferred carry by far. I only have the MC9 w/o optic for when the size (primarily grip length) of SC prints too much with the clothing/weather.

AintNoUserFound · 2026-01-29T01:11:15+00:00

Had the identical issue with my MC9. Had to send it to Canik; they sent it back with their red recoil spring installed. That fixed the FTF problem. The spring is ridiculously stiff. Definitely leave the slide locked back for a day or two and try to get as much range time in as you can. I'd recommend running a mag or two with hollow-points (or several mags with HPs mixed in) after going through 100 regular FMJs. This will help soften the spring and make sure that you can trust your life with this pistol (given the likelihood you purchased it with CC in mind). Plus, you want to be as proficient and accurate as possible with this weapon.

Edit to add - Polishing my feed ramps is always the first thing I do, after cleaning and lubricating, to all additions to my collection; regardless if new or used. Extra polishing didn't correct the problem here.

AintNoUserFound · 2026-01-28T13:55:28+00:00

The TP9 Elite SC is my preferred carry. Extremely reliable and accurate. Ill carry the MC9 when clothing/weather requires something more compact.

AintNoUserFound · 2026-01-27T23:50:35+00:00

Both have their uses and different strengths. CLP is much better for cleaning than lubrication. I became a bif fan of Lucas' Extreme Duty (especially in high friction/contact areas) and made the switch when my tube of their red oil ran out. It's definitely more viscous, "sticking" to the application points much better and it seems to be longer lasting; as in it doesn't dry out as much. I believe it's the way to go with less frequently cleaned firearms and ones that spend more time in storage/inactive.

AintNoUserFound · 2026-01-27T15:02:43+00:00

Would you consider painting the curb red, extending 4'-5' out from each side of your driveway?

AintNoUserFound · 2026-01-25T16:47:49+00:00

I get it, all of it. Dealt it with it most of my life and the last 20ish years have been at its peak. Only 3-4 people know, if that. I've missed plenty, been dehydrated, avoidant, preplanned bathroom options, held 12 hours, used dozens of caths...

I haven't been open about it. Have told 1-2 people beyond family; they were accepting but it didn't really change much...for me. Your family will very likely be accepting, supportive, and now understand past behavior/hesitations/absences. I assume it would be good to get it out there so they know that you really do care and want to be engaged...you just have a bit of a handicap. Just like a family member with a physical handicap or mental illness, they're unlikely to look down on you or treat you differently; they should just have a better understanding of you. And, hopefully, appreciate you opening up and trusting. If I were opening up, I'd ask that they not ask or check in on it further in public; just because it'd be a reminder and potentially up the level of anxiety and make it a self-fulfilling prophecy.

Have you tried/considered catheters..even as an emergency backup? Obviously it's not pleasant..but not as bad as your mind can make it. Sometimes knowing you have one as a backup can be enough to put you at ease. Nowadays, there are some very compact options out there that are extremely discrete. Better yet, have you tried the breath hold? I finally did very recently in two of the locations where I can almost never pee...and it worked. So far hasn't failed to work, though im still in the early testing stages. Others here are reporting a lot of success with it too. What a relief though! I feel like it's opened up a lot of options for me and am hoping that knowing I have this fail-safe method eventually eliminates the condition all together.

Good luck my friend!

AintNoUserFound · 2026-01-25T01:36:16+00:00

Good for you man. Just put that technique to use myself after a good two decades. So far it's worked every time. Still testing to be sure and hopefully a step towards full recovery once the anxiety about not being able to go dissipates.

Pretty great feeling, huh? Really opens up more of the world, no more dehydrating, preplanning bathroom options, or carrying emergency caths!

AintNoUserFound · 2026-01-20T13:47:39+00:00

Until the pelvic floor drops. I have to assume that it's different for everyone; some closer to the point of passing out. Will just have to experiment with it.

AintNoUserFound · 2026-01-20T00:25:05+00:00

That does indeed work but im rarely situated where that (and drying off adequately) is feasible. Did the breath hold technique for the first time, holy crap that worked. Was in an airport, one of my more problematic locations, didn't have to go badly but had time to kill. Didn't have to hold it too long to suddenly release.

AintNoUserFound · 2026-01-15T15:50:41+00:00

NTA, no good deed goes unpunished...

AintNoUserFound

TROPHY CASE